Can't stand my inlaws!

paulineb_2

He speaks to her several times a day? Why? What is the need. I speak to my mum most days and see her often as she lives in the same town as me, but several times a day no.

At the very best she sounds like someone who cant cut the apron strings, at the worst she sounds like a poisonous interfering old bat who isnt happy with her life and wants to ruin other peoples

Bottom line is, if he listens to her view of you and its causing problems, he also has issues, hes too weak to stand up to her and I know its tough when someone is domineering and hes her son

But if you do split up, he'll be the one who loses, it wont affect her life, her marriage.

And he needs to try and take a step back and realise how upset you are which is where counselling might come in.

Janey3

paulineb wrote: »

He could do them himself. Im a sole trader and I do my own tax returns

And anything she does for the business should stay that way ie confidential and not used as a stick to beat you with

I really feel for you OP but I think you are going to have to have some serious words with him and soon

I so agree with this. You are being done up like a kipper in every respect

A serious discussion is needed - not easy when you don't seem to be getting any support from anyone close to you. I feel for you, I really do.

paulineb_2

Oh and if he ever ever calls your daughter !!!!!! again, kick his sorry backside to the kerb, that is awful, how dare he call a child a name like that.

Anon234

Well, having tried to raise the issue with my OH a few moments ago, I was told ' god not my mother again, get over it'

All I said was I wasn't too sure how it was going to work when we go to visit her as I have planned to take both children somewhere ( this was initially planned as a weeks holiday, not a visit to see them and we are about 60 miles away)

Looks as though my holiday will be me and my eldest waiting around for my OH to decide what days he is seeing them ... Great.

Pechow

He sounds like he has no respect for you-are you willing to stay with him if nothing changes?

shelley_crow

It will only be like that if you allow it to, say no and stop being treated like a doormat! you shouldn't have to accept going into an environment where 50% of your family is made unwelcome.

You need a proper discussion about this, if he is unwilling then i don't see how you can move on from there. In any case, please don't roll over and do as you are told, yourself and your daughters are worth more than that.

meritaten

Anon234 wrote: »

I have thought about this numerous times, and tbh we have come to the point of splitting up a few times over this.

Every argument descends into 'we'll I can see my parents because your a !!!!!' and on a few occasions my !!!!!! child (his words not mine obviously) has also been blamed...( easy to see his parents attitudes have rubbed off on him)

We are so much happier on the few weeks she goes abroad every year, no interfering rubbish.

He speaks to her several times a day so it's hard to get my side across without her whispering nastiness in his ear.

You are on a 'hiding to nothing' as my nan would say!
roughly translated as 'you cant win'!

from 300 miles away she is controlling your life! impressive!

either you get your OH to see her clearly or you have years of this ahead of you. and hun, I don't mean this disrespectfully of YOU.............but, she clearly has the upper hand. and your distress at the situation is coming through loud and clear.
I feel so sorry for you - if you were my daughter I would be telling you to come home. (then go and punch his lights out for the hurt HE is inflicting on you, never mind his evil parents).
as it is all I can say is - read up on narcissists, work out your strategy for coping with his parents and get him to agree and if they are never mentioned in your house again, I would stay.
otherwise knowing what I know about them - I would reluctantly have to end the marriage.

you have married a 'golden child'. I don't have experience of that, (I married the 'scapegoat' child), but there is a thread on here called 'I hate my mother' by HappyHaddock. she was a golden child and reading that may give you some idea of your OHs perspective.

Anon234

Well I just told him that when we go on holiday he is more than welcome to visit his parents but as this was a holiday I booked for my 2 children I would be doing the activites I have booked with them both. He can take my youngest when it is suitable for everyone not just his mother.

His response was a rant about how his mum and dad can't see his child because of my eldest?!.

If this carries on...he won't be welcome on my holiday either, he can spend it with his mother

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Anon234 wrote: »

Well, having tried to raise the issue with my OH a few moments ago, I was told ' god not my mother again, get over it'

All I said was I wasn't too sure how it was going to work when we go to visit her as I have planned to take both children somewhere ( this was initially planned as a weeks holiday, not a visit to see them and we are about 60 miles away)

Looks as though my holiday will be me and my eldest waiting around for my OH to decide what days he is seeing them ... Great.

Or...you let him go to mummy's and go and do something less boring instead. Seems your youngest has got the measure of her already.

Anon234

As for why they speak several times a day? I have no idea, she also emails him every day at work too. Usually moaning about me. Pathetic really