Issues with DH (again)

Mojisola

notanewuser wrote: »

He had DD on his own for 8 hours while I worked the other weekend. He took her out (I got her dressed and gave her breakfast while he showered and gave him snacks and drinks to take). They went out at 11am and came back at 5pm. By 6pm her behaviour was atrocious - I'd never ever seen her like that. She was wild. I thought he must have given her something really dodgy to eat. Nope. He'd given her a small chocolate bar in the afternoon. That was it. He didn't give her any proper food all day long. I sent him to the chippy with a flea in his ear and she literally fell on her fish and chips. Poor little mite was starving.

So I'm afraid I can't trust him to take her there for a whole weekend. He just doesn't think about what she needs. She's very adaptable and loves his family, but not feeding her all day? :eek::eek:

What would happen if you were taken into hospital as an emergency?

aileth

Sounds like your husband is completely out of touch with parenting. You don't need to be a parenting genius to realise a child needs more than a chocolate bar for lunch.

Think some tough love and parenting classes are in order.

LannieDuck

Did he get lunch for himself while he was out?

notanewuser

poet123 wrote: »

I am afraid that would be the issue I was addressing.

Did he eat during the day?

Really, you should be able to trust your DH with your child.

He had a couple of coffees/milkshakes and a cake or something. That's when he gave DD the chocolate.

notanewuser

Mojisola wrote: »

What would happen if you were taken into hospital as an emergency?

My mum and dad would be around to keep an eye on things.

notanewuser

paulineb wrote: »

So why didnt he give her the snacks

Are you saying that your husband doesnt know how to parent his kid?

What age is he and how much day to day input does he have with her?

He's 37. Next to no day to day input when he's working away. When he's working from home a little more, but he's a lot more focused on fun than function. His meals get put in front of him - it's not something he generally has to think about.

He said he forgot about the snacks. I think he expected DD to tell him when she was hungry, but at 2.75 they don't always do that, do they? He did give her drinks.

He is a good dad. He's hands on most of the time (when he can be). He doesn't often have her for a full day on his own (that's not an excuse).

aileth

notanewuser wrote: »

He's 37. Next to no day to day input when he's working away. When he's working from home a little more, but he's a lot more focused on fun than function. His meals get put in front of him - it's not something he generally has to think about.

I suggest you go on strike for a while and cook solely for yourself and DD and make him realise how much you do for him

balletshoes

notanewuser wrote: »

My mum and dad would be around to keep an eye on things.

not good enough OP - your child is 3, your OH needs to get a grip on parenting, so he needs a load more practice - send him out with her next time with a timetable if needs be.

BugglyB

Does he think he would be capable of taking your daughter out or away? or does he just not realise what is involved?

globetraveller

How often do you or OH phone or Skype them? Perhaps you could could initiate more skyping?
Also do you think that you are overprotective of your DD? Have you let him do much looking after? Or do you think you are the only one who can do all this properly? Every weekend you have where you are both at home- alternate. One Saturday you take off for a while and have some free time of your own. He can do the same next Saturday.
Explain how tiring it is to go up so often to his family but that you will Skype more often. when you do go up, leave your daughter with her grandparents for a while. She has seen them before.
I haven't read any of your other threads( knowingly anyway) but you need to let go a bit. You can't do everything. Also, tell him you don't like taking the car on your own with your daughter. Could you take the train( or even fly?). Finally, invite your inlaws for a weekend. Let them make the effort.
I don't think its your inlaws that are the main problem- its your relationship with OH. And perhaps its not all onesided?? I obviously don't know - just giving you food for thought perhaps??