Neighbours from Hell

lostinrates

shegirl wrote: »

All rented properties,social or private,would have clauses regarding noise.Just like people can be reported for anti social behaviour for noise.

A disabled child is not intentionally noisey.For that to be covered under a clause or anti social behaviour would be akin to saying it is unacceptable for a baby to cry.It cannot be helped!

Like it or not,disabled children have to live somewhere..

I think the issue is that some of us 'like it' that disable children live somewhere but can also appreciate it can have knock on effects to others who might not ( in all cases) be biased against them but are being negatively impacted upon by them.

Its right we try and make allowances for people in society. So we should make everywhere as accessible as possible for example, but also be aware that some people's needs are contraindicated. Sometimes ino order to be 'equatable' maybe we need to give and take a little.

Its possible to want the best possible compromise in society for everyone. The difficulty is, that things can get very black and white, and people start using very emotive or inflammatory language such as seen in this thread which automatically polarises people. Most people, I'd guess, actually would not want either the child, the parents or the woman upstairs to suffer unnecessarily.

Errata

Sometimes ino order to be 'equatable' maybe we need to give and take a little.

Fair enough, but at the moment the OP's problem seems to be that of all take and no give from the family. Being told to F off by their visitor is a good example.

balletshoes

**professor~yaffle** wrote: »

Yes, and the other people have to live somewhere, too! Granted it cannot be helped, but that's no help to the neighbours who are trying to get on with their own lives, but can't due to noise levels.

If the noise is that intrusive then other arrangements need to be made, IMO.

I think we all agree with that - what arrangements would you suggest?

meg72

Nicki wrote: »

I usually hold my child in my arms and speak soothingly to her when she is making her involuntary sounds. Makes no difference to the volume or duration but makes ME feel better. If I pinned her to the floor and held a pillow over her head (not that I ever would) it would stop or muffle it not one whit. So am waiting with baited breath to hear how alyth thinks the situation can be managed

I think the answer to how the situation can be managed is that the OP must accept that her peaceful quiet life is over for the next year and take steps to make things better for herself.

The child cannot change, the parents bless them cannot change him. Oh how I bet they wish they could,

But the OP can help herself and relieve her own stress. as others have suggested ear plugs, head phones and listen to music, turn the telly up. Go out if she can, she didnt actually say what medical problem caused her to retire early. It may be that she could contact social services and ask for an assessment of her needs. Age concern UK may also be able to help, maybe suggesting Days out
etc, or even a lunch club, transport is usually available .

Whilst first and foremost my heart goes out to the family, I do feel for the OP as well and feel quite sad that because of the emotive
words she used, often a indication that someone is stressed, she did not receive much help on here.

CC-Warrior

shegirl wrote: »

Clauses about noise levels don't apply to natural noises from a disabled child.The landlord can,however,try to help the situation.

I'm not sure unless the contract specifically stipulates this. Mine doesn't mention anything about disability.

Nicki

CC-Warrior wrote: »

I'm not sure unless the contract specifically stipulates this. Mine doesn't mention anything about disability.

I am.

The Equalities Act makes quite clear that someone cannot be evicted from their home for reasons connected to their disability. So the OP has no legal remedy here.

Meg, the post of mine you were replying to was in relation to a series of posts by alyth which were deleted by the abuse team this morning. I don't disagree with the points you made but the thread probably looks a bit disjointed this morning as lots of stuff posted in support of the OP's stance was deleted

alyth

I'm alyth and I've no idea that posts were deleted - I work weird hours and am only catching up with this thread now - my understanding was that if you made an abusive post then you were contacted by this site, a few years ago I remember getting an email from a forum moderator or something similar saying someone had complained about a post I'd made. I don't use this site often enough to understand the workings of it so my apologies.

balletshoes

alyth wrote: »

I'm alyth and I've no idea that posts were deleted - I work weird hours and am only catching up with this thread now - my understanding was that if you made an abusive post then you were contacted by this site, a few years ago I remember getting an email from a forum moderator or something similar saying someone had complained about a post I'd made. I don't use this site often enough to understand the workings of it so my apologies.

alyth some of your posts have definitely been deleted from this thread - my post late last night quoted one of your subsequent posts, which has been deleted, and my post has been edited by the MSE team to remove the quote of your post.

alyth

balletshoes wrote: »

alyth some of your posts have definitely been deleted from this thread - my post late last night quoted one of your subsequent posts, which has been deleted, and my post has been edited by the MSE team to remove the quote of your post.

my life and my time in this country is too short to worry about these things - I was more worried about the OP and wanted to give her support. I don't subscribe to any threads so I tend to post and then forget about it. I do hope that the OP is okay however, as I can totally sympathise with her predicament.

poet123

alyth wrote: »

I'm alyth and I've no idea that posts were deleted - I work weird hours and am only catching up with this thread now - my understanding was that if you made an abusive post then you were contacted by this site, a few years ago I remember getting an email from a forum moderator or something similar saying someone had complained about a post I'd made. I don't use this site often enough to understand the workings of it so my apologies.

I didn't read any of your posts that were abusive per se (there may have been some after I left the thread) but some/all of your posts lacked empathy and implied that the child needed control rather than you understanding that the child was disabled.