Neighbours from Hell

skintandscared_2

Anyone living in a flat will never have control of the neighbours/noise above or below, unless they buy all the surrounding flats too! I can imagine that the noise from the poor child is incredibly frustrating if the OP is trying to sleep, but there is nothing the parents or the OP can do about it.

OP there is no point verbally stamping your feet, sticking your bottom lip out and moaning that you don't like it. Nothing illegal is going on and this is how it is. You either make the best of it until the family move on (hopefully to a detached or semi detached house where THEY can feel more at ease!) or you move yourself. There's no point being stubborn and saying "why should I?" Where does that get you? Do you think the Fairness Fairy will drop down from heaven and magic the noise away?

My only suggestion is to move to a small semi with nobody above or below you. That way, there is much less chance of neighbours annoying you.

Vicky123

How about the OP once again tries to enlist the help of her other presumably quiet neighbours to start bothering the hell out of the local authority for the shameful way they expect a family with a disabled child to live, speaking as a parent of a disabled child I would find it quite dreadful to live in close proximity to someone as intolerant as the OP, so you could both help each other.
Just keep those fingers crossed that the new neighbours don't have someone with genuine antisocial behaviours because that would be what most people would consider truly terrifying noise.

supersaver2

Norma_Desmond wrote: »

I feel real sympathy for the OP.

Of course the poor child can't control the sounds it makes, but that shouldn't be the OP's problem - awful noise is awful noise.

How many on here can honestly say it wouldn't bother them in the slightest?

Must admit it would bother me and I should imagine if people are honest it would bother them as well. It's a really difficult situation as the disabled child can't help make the noises and the OP is finding it hard to live with. If I bought a 1 bedroom flat I would probably feel safe in the knowledge that children wouldn't really be an issue if all the other flats are only 1 bedroom. Surely this family would be at the top of the list for a 2 bed place, having a severely disabled child? It can't be pleasant all having to share a bedroom. I have a disabled daughter who has born 16 weeks early so I'm not unsympathetic to the parents but I do feel some posters have been very harsh on the OP. Loud noises that disturb you at home can really affect your quality of life, doesn't matter where the noise comes from.

tesuhoha

At the risk of being shouted down, everyone seems to be assuming that this is a nice normal family with a disabled child. However, if they were like that and approachable, surely the OP wouldn't be having this problem.

I may be wrong but I get the feeling that the family have an antagonistic attitude towards their neighbour. Otherwise, why would she feel so helpless and despairing. If she felt she could have a pleasant chat with them and they were friendly then the child's cries would not be so distressing to her. Noises from a neighbour are not normally upsetting unless there is some kind of malicious, aggressive or uncaring element in them. I.e a drunken party out of control, a domestic incident.

For instance, my neighbour has her grandchildren over in the afternoon most of these hot days. They are very badly behaved and most days there are ear splitting screams coming from next door's garden. However, I do not feel upset by it. So the question is, why does this lady feel so threatened? I can't believe its just from a disabled child's cries. I think it goes deeper than that and that there is some aspect of her new neighbours that makes her feel deeply uncomfortable.

Also I once spent the night in my mother's one bedroom flat and the sound from the neighbours felt quite oppressive as you could not get away from it (it was only footsteps across the floor) and it made me feel claustrophobic. So maybe I have answered my own question.

PJMardy

4771_Miles_To_Caracas wrote: »

How about to live in an actual house, they should be able to afford it on the amount of benefit they will be receiving for a severely disable child, they would be a priority for social housing.

I love this attitude :wall:

People with disabilities get the amount of benefit (according to the severity of their disability) to help with that disability. There are seemingly infinite additional costs that come with being disabled. My partner receives some disability benefits and we actually have people thinking we're 'lucky' because we get 'so much' - it doesn't cover all that much, I can tell you that. So, yes, perhaps they do get 'loads' of benefits - but we have no idea what they need to spend them on. We can't assume they can afford to rent whatever they like. Or that the LA or Social Housing will help them.

FWIW, and to try not to steer this thread too far off-topic. I have some sympathy with the OP - it's horrible when there are noises keeping you awake, disturbing you through the day, etc. Unfortunately, it's kind of part of life! I live in a terrace - and our house is 'underneath' the house in front of us. It feels , at times, like they are in our house. Same goes for the next-door neighbours. It's something I accept as I can't afford not to live in a terrace at the moment.

In terms of the advice you're getting on this thread OP - I think you'd find people's attitudes towards you would get better if you acknowledged that your choice of wording in your original email was wrong and offensive. Nobody is saying that it isn't difficult for you - but you haven't really answered the question of 'what do you want to happen' - really, what can happen? This family have a severely disabled child - that's not going to change. So what can? That's what you need to be thinking about - so that you can all get on and live a happy life

Calien27

They could very well be an unwelcoming couple, but the OP hasn't given any indication that they have actually tried to approach them, or even spoken to them apart from the drunken balcony incident, so we don't actually know what they are like as the OP appears to have gone straight down the attempted eviction route.

If the OP did or does approach them and they act in an antisocial manner, that would change the situation as living in a hostile environment is not nice for anyone. At the moment though, the OP is just focusing on the noise the child makes and has given no indication of what the parents are like.

tesuhoha

4771_Miles_To_Caracas wrote: »

I agree with you up to a point, but it is worth noting, that it is one thing to hear noisy children next door and know that eventually they are going to leave and another to hear a noisy neighbour that isn't going to leave and no apparent end in sight for the noise.

Yes, I agree. I think the problem is the nature of living in a flat. You cannot get away from any noise in the same way as you can with a house. Even if you can hear sounds next door in a house its not as invasive as it is if it is above you or below you. I don't know what the answer is but I think it would be better if they were on good terms with each other. I can understand both points of view.

the_pink_panther_2

If the family have chosen to live in a tiny one bed flat where they must even share a bedroom with their child then it is through financial necessity. Part of the plus is probably that as child is disabled the fact the flat is ground floor may be critical/ideal. In honesty, there probably isn't a great deal of choice in terms of where the family could have lived factoring in price+ ground floor+ approx location. So when you say 'chose to live here', think their hands were almost certainly near enough tied. Anywhere in their price bracket will almost certainly be a flat, which will affect the nearest neighbours wherever they'd moved to, anything other than top/bottom floor would have even more nearest neighbours than they currently have anyway. Seriously, given their restrictions what would you realistically think the solution should be?

Also, I really do think that referring to them as 'the family from hell' is unfair. I'm sure they'd have had a child without needs had they had the option. It does look like they're playing the best they can given the hand they've been dealt.

Vicky123

O P probably hasn't approached them because she knows full well there is nothing the parents can do short of drugging or gagging their child, she is aware of that but still decides to give them a hard time by other more malicious routes and then expects sympathy, her situation may be unfortunate in her eyes but nowhere near as unfortunate as the poor child.
It's also highly unlikely this is going to be a forever situation in any case, it smacks of ouright intolerance to me, as I said before the new neighbours may turn out to be deliberately antisocial and then she really will have a problem.

Any

I feel sorry for the neighbours with disabled child, but if I was in the OP's place I would not be very happy either.

Surely for all those who here just spit on the OP because "disabled" has been mentioned, they should consider that as much as people should be nice and courtious to you, just because you are ill, disabled mentaly or physicaly does not mean that you can take "hell with you all" attitude I am ill or disabled and I have right not to be curtious to you.

Surely some measure can be taken - firstly appologise for the drunken friend, that on it's own screams "scum" to me and I personaly would not go knocking on the neighbours door. While I appreciate they cannot be held completely responsible for the friend, the day after moving in inviting scum in and letting them shout abuse at current residents is not going to bring you any favours.

Secondly, surely some kind of soundproofing could be organised or something like that.

If I had disabled child or mentaly ill relative that would make laud unsettling noises, I would still worry abour others and tried to come up with something.
You play with the hand you were dealt as other poster said... You try your best. I think that is best dealt with people who feel sympathy and friendliness to you, rather then hate and fear.