Neighbours from Hell

cupcake4

I posted for some support, admit my words could have been better chosen but to those who gave some support and understand I thank you.
I am suffering from stress having recently lost my beloved father and do not always feel up to going out. I am not elderly and am struggling to pay my mortgage - my ex put a lot of pressure on me to buy the property but left me with the mortgage. Whatever my flat realises will not buy very little in the area which I know and where I have friends.
To those who have posted so much vitriol, there are always 2 sides to every story. The noises are truly terrifying and make my hands shake. The flat below was sold and has been bought by someone who is letting it out.
Yes, I can put music on during the day, but the noises can still be heard. Yes, I can wear earplugs at night.
The question begs why should I?
I always thought my home should be somewhere to retreat to from the world. Now I am being forced out.
And I am the selfish one, think again.

balletshoes

cupcake4 wrote: »

I posted for some support, admit my words could have been better chosen but to those who gave some support and understand I thank you.
I am suffering from stress having recently lost my beloved father and do not always feel up to going out. I am not elderly and am struggling to pay my mortgage - my ex put a lot of pressure on me to buy the property but left me with the mortgage. Whatever my flat realises will not buy very little in the area which I know and where I have friends.
To those who have posted so much vitriol, there are always 2 sides to every story. The noises are truly terrifying and make my hands shake. The flat below was sold and has been bought by someone who is letting it out.
Yes, I can put music on during the day, but the noises can still be heard. Yes, I can wear earplugs at night.
The question begs why should I?
I always thought my home should be somewhere to retreat to from the world. Now I am being forced out.
And I am the selfish one, think again.

Why should you? Because what else can you do?

aileth

There is a grand canyon of difference of terms of noise disturbance between something like a neighbour blasting drum and bass at all hours and someone's disabled child being vocal. I am sure the noises are upsetting, but unfortunately I really don't see how they can stop the child doing it.

Are you seriously suggesting that the parents are selfish for their handicapped child's outbursts? There are no words.

thorsoak

Do you really think that a family with a disabled child really want to be in a one-bedroomed flat? Can you not see that they have been deposited there and have as little choice about where they live as you have?

I appreciate that you are feeling stressed about what is happening in your own life at the moment - probably almost as stressed as your neighbours feel. But your life will improve- theirs will only get worse.

That is why I feel it difficult to empathise with you.

princessdon

cupcake4 wrote: »

I posted for some support, admit my words could have been better chosen but to those who gave some support and understand I thank you.
I am suffering from stress having recently lost my beloved father and do not always feel up to going out. I am not elderly and am struggling to pay my mortgage - my ex put a lot of pressure on me to buy the property but left me with the mortgage. Whatever my flat realises will not buy very little in the area which I know and where I have friends.
To those who have posted so much vitriol, there are always 2 sides to every story. The noises are truly terrifying and make my hands shake. The flat below was sold and has been bought by someone who is letting it out.
Yes, I can put music on during the day, but the noises can still be heard. Yes, I can wear earplugs at night.
The question begs why should I?
I always thought my home should be somewhere to retreat to from the world. Now I am being forced out.
And I am the selfish one, think again.

Like it or not this is now the situation. It could have been a child without needs kicking a football and shouting screaming in play, or a crying baby.

Your life is going to change, this could be the same for any underflat tenant. My brood are noisy creatures without disability and at times must drive the neighbours mad.

The key is mutual respect. So if I see a neighbour sitting out having coffee and mine are noisy i will bring them in, in return I'm happy to mow their lawn or help them.

You need to take a step back, realise you have been lucky with your downstairs neighbours to date and see what you can do.

Do you think you can speak to them? Are you willing to try and understand that they deal with prejudice every day and don't need an attitude?

I honestly think few things can't be solved, but it will take some adjustments and empathy and compassion from you and them in order to move forward.

CH27

cupcake4 wrote: »

I posted for some support, admit my words could have been better chosen but to those who gave some support and understand I thank you.
I am suffering from stress having recently lost my beloved father and do not always feel up to going out. I am not elderly and am struggling to pay my mortgage - my ex put a lot of pressure on me to buy the property but left me with the mortgage. Whatever my flat realises will not buy very little in the area which I know and where I have friends.
To those who have posted so much vitriol, there are always 2 sides to every story. The noises are truly terrifying and make my hands shake. The flat below was sold and has been bought by someone who is letting it out.
Yes, I can put music on during the day, but the noises can still be heard. Yes, I can wear earplugs at night.
The question begs why should I?
I always thought my home should be somewhere to retreat to from the world. Now I am being forced out.
And I am the selfish one, think again.

But what do you expect the parents to do?

aliasojo

cupcake4 wrote: »

Yes, I can put music on during the day, but the noises can still be heard. Yes, I can wear earplugs at night.
The question begs why should I?
I always thought my home should be somewhere to retreat to from the world. Now I am being forced out.
And I am the selfish one, think again.

You're kinda losing my sympathy a bit now tbh. You appear to be digging your heels in and being thrawn. (Scottish word meaning stubborn or obstinate for those who don't know.)

You don't live in a detached house, you live in a building with other people.

No building has been made to such a high specification that no noise will ever be heard from those around you, you are being unrealistic to think that would be so.

You cannot in these circumstances expect others to live in such a way that solely suits you.You need to live by yourself in a detached property to ensure peace but as you cannot afford to do that, you must consider what your options are.

You have to accept you will have to have a hand in acquiring your own peace. If that means using ear plugs then so be it.

I think your stressed state of mind is not allowing you to look at this situation calmly.

DKLS

cupcake4 wrote: »

I posted for some support, admit my words could have been better chosen but to those who gave some support and understand I thank you.

I feel for you OP, the Mumsnet !!!!! have descended again casting judgement.

I had to move due to a similar scenario, and faced comments like have been seen on here, its fine to complain about noisy chavs and dogs but god help you if the noise comes from a child, or even worse a disabled child.

Sadly I think your on a hiding to nothing, hence my suggestion would be to try and get out of your lease and move as medicating kids isnt very popular over here like it is in the states.

cupcake4

Can you not see that they have been deposited there and have as little choice about where they live as you have?

As I said they CHOSE to rent here PRIVATELY through an agent

thorsoak

DKLS wrote: »

I feel for you OP, the Mumsnet !!!!! have descended again casting judgement.

I had to move due to a similar scenario, and faced comments like have been seen on here, its fine to complain about noisy chavs and dogs but god help you if the noise comes from a child, or even worse a disabled child.

Sadly I think your on a hiding to nothing, hence my suggestion would be to try and get out of your lease and move as medicating kids isnt very popular over here like it is in the states.

May I say how much I object to your first statement - I have never even visited Mumsnet - and as a 70 year old, my views are very much my own.

Let me repeat again - don't you think that the parents of the child in question would do anything to be in the shoes of the complainant? But they are not - they have a disabled child and will be the parents of a disabled child for the whole of that child's life - no chance for them to move away.