Neighbours from Hell

shegirl

alyth wrote: »

I've read through the whole of this thread with interest, and I have to say I'm with the OP on this. She had lived in her quiet flat, I assume for many years, and her peace and tranquility had been broken by a disruptive family. Why on earth should she try and build a relationship with the neighbours - they have a child that they can't control in what I'm reading to be a one bedroomed flat in a built up area. I've lived in central London and now have moved to the back of beyond in Scotland, so I totally empathise with the OP, her routine and lifestyle has been disrupted and I'm figuring that she has posted because she is upset, desperate and I'm not entirely sure she wants to build up a bond with a couple and their child who it would seem from the original post have drunken parties and friends round.
I would question the wisdom of a housing asssociation, if that's who has placed the couple in the flat, in a one bedroomed property with a child that has issues that has to be dealt with. Whilst I appreciate that this is a family board, not everyone wants to have someone else's family shoved in their face at all times of day and night.

It takes allsorts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poet123

Nicki wrote: »

It has been explained to OP that the child is disabled and the sounds are involuntary. I am not sure what else princessdon thinks can be done to educate her given the extreme prejudice that she has already expressed. People either have empathy and decency or they don't.

Speaking from my own experience, if you let people believe that they are justified in feeling aggrieved by the inconvenience your disabled child causes them you set yourself up for more grief. Hence why my disabled child is no longer collected from the house by disabled school transport for example. The neighbours complained about the Diesel engine running for a few minutes at 8 am each morning as she was loaded on board, so she now has to struggle to a meeting point some way away on a main road and wait up to 10 minutes in all weathers for the bus. We've also had people suggest we be removed from hotels and restaurants because they don't like to be confronted by the reality of serious disability. Never underestimate the bigotry of some people towards the disabled.

Disgusting behaviour. Hard enough to have to deal with the health issues without dealing with such petty and nasty people.

MrsAtobe

The OP has been retired early through ill health and is on her own. She is now hearing disturbing noises at all hours of the day and night. Of course she's worried and upset, and quite frankly the idiot, drunk friend has probably put her off approaching the family.

Those of you calling her lacking in compassion, and worse, need to take a good long hard look at yourselves. Where's your compassion for this lady who's life has been turned upside down and inside out thanks to the stupidity of a housing association? The level of vitriol for someone who's ill and struggling is sickening.

Calien27

The OP didn't say drunken parties, they had a friend over and they were drinking on the balcony. That's not a drunken, party. Are they not allowed to have friends over or something?


The child doesn't have "issues" that need to be dealt with, they are disabled yes, but there is only so much parents and care workers can do. Moving the family or talking to them isn't going to miraculously make the child better.

mrsmortenharket

I feel for the family with the disabled child. They have been placed in a - bed flat. They must be squeezed in. How awful.

princessdon

poet123 wrote: »

I don't think you have to be dealing with it every day to be able to empathise.

The child is 7, not an intimidating hulky teenager. He is clearly very disabled, and yes, it may be upsetting to have the noise issue, but the noise doesn't stem from a choice, but from something no one has any control over.

So, the OP will have to accept that it cannot be helped, so it will have to be worked around. Earplugs for nigh time, and music and/or more tolerance for the rest of the time.

Tbh, it sounds as if the parents have more than enough on their plates and are probably emotionally and physically exhausted. They really don't need animosity or silent condemnation from neighbours too.

Or ideally they find a way to communicate with the neighbour without poor wording and compromise and hopefully in an ideal world live as neighbours. May not be possible - OP may never want anything other than her way, I just think that until they communicate with their neighbours and know HOW to approach this, 2 families will live unhappy.

poet123

MrsAtobe wrote: »

The OP has been retired early through ill health and is on her own. She is now hearing disturbing noises at all hours of the day and night. Of course she's worried and upset, and quite frankly the idiot, drunk friend has probably put her off approaching the family.

Those of you calling her lacking in compassion, and worse, need to take a good long hard look at yourselves. Where's your compassion for this lady who's life has been turned upside down and inside out thanks to the stupidity of a housing association? The level of vitriol for someone who's ill and struggling is sickening.

Clearly the friend was way out of line using bad language, but that aside the other issues are not arising out of a choice. They have been housed there by the HA, so presumably there was no more suitable accom available. Would you rather they were homeless?

Compassion is a two way street and if the OP showed some she may get it back by the bucketload.

Nicki

princessdon wrote: »

Or ideally they find a way to communicate with the neighbour without poor wording and compromise and hopefully in an ideal world live as neighbours. May not be possible - OP may never want anything other than her way, I just think that until they communicate with their neighbours and know HOW to approach this, 2 families will live unhappy.

The OP has already though asked the LA to evict the family and tried to mobilise a group of neighbours to complain about them fortunately unsuccessfully. She has been told by someone with no personal connection to the family that she is harassing them.

Would it be acceptable if she was asking for the family to be evicted because they were a same sex couple and it made her feel ick to see them holding hands under the gazebo? Or because they were black and she didn't like the smell of their "foreign food"? Victimisation of a family due to the disability of one member is as illegal as either of these acts yet few would surely come on a public forum and say someone should be allowed to do so because they had lived their longer and had retired due to ill health some years earlier.

Calien27

If the three of them have been lumped into a one bed place then there isn't anywhere else available for them at the moment, at some point suitable accommodation will be found for them but until then, they will be staying where they are.

They can't control or stop their child making noises, so the OP will need to learn to adapt a little bit for the time being.

Treevo

I feel for the OP. She didn't come across as the nicest person in her OP, but she's having to listen to awful noises in her flat all the time. This isn't great.

I don't think it's on at all for people to say that the OP should be helping her neighbours - she shouldn't feel obligated to do that at all. I'd actually question why a family with a child who makes such loud noises would move into a flat surrounded by others who will also be affected. So my sympathy for the situation is reserved for the OP.