Eating Habits

lostinrates

DUTR wrote: »

My bro doesn't have a medical condition , it's just the way he is, and his wife doesn't seem to mind.
It's not as if the folk being criticised for the way they eat are eating 24/7 or that the moaning partners were not aware before they got together with their partners, I just wonder if those moaning about it a truly concerned or they just don't have the confidence as others may pass comment :eek: As others have mentioned they could have much more 'serious' habits like secret texts to another lady or excessive viewing of adult material, gambling etc

Sure, its not cheating, and I wouldn't stay with a cheat. And no personally, If you read my first post, it would have prevented the relationship starting for me, not me endeavouring to change him.

If your sil doesn't mind then its really a non issue for them, surely? Its to be hoped if they have children they are taught that it might benefit them to eat 'correctly' not just for relationships but in other social situations, and that in some cases failing to do so could see them losing out.

If they don't choose to that's fine....its their choice. Far less so for the people who don't have a choice.

Fwiw, I am particularly aware I find others eating habits easily distracting, and consider that a failing of mine, and tackle it in myself. I have techniques to make sure my tolerance is maximised and that no one suffers my lack of it. because that too is a pretty grievous fault IMO, but perfectly acceptable to decide that that that makes such things a relationship non starter!

scooby088

walkerbev wrote: »

I see he's not alone then :eek: :rotfl: I might try the eating extra slowly approach and then he may realise he's finished way before me worth a try

Why? I don't feel the need to slow down as my OH eats really slowly and would still be eating a starter at midnight from a 8 pm start.

All I say if you don't like watching him eat then eat in another room.

DUTR

lostinrates wrote: »

Sure, its not cheating, and I wouldn't stay with a cheat. And no personally, If you read my first post, it would have prevented the relationship starting for me, not me endeavouring to change him.

If your sil doesn't mind then its really a non issue for them, surely? Its to be hoped if they have children they are taught that it might benefit them to eat 'correctly' not just for relationships but in other social situations, and that in some cases failing to do so could see them losing out.

If they don't choose to that's fine....its their choice. Far less so for the people who don't have a choice.

Fwiw, I am particularly aware I find others eating habits easily distracting, and consider that a failing of mine, and tackle it in myself. I have techniques to make sure my tolerance is maximised and that no one suffers my lack of it. because that too is a pretty grievous fault IMO, but perfectly acceptable to decide that that that makes such things a relationship non starter!

Yes they have two girls, both graduated from Uni, so I don't think it has been really an issue enough to leave or for the girls not to progress in life.

lostinrates

DUTR wrote: »

Yes they have two girls, both graduated from Uni, so I don't think it has been really an issue enough to leave or for the girls not to progress in life.

Good!

But I know plenty of poor eaters who have got through university. I don't think poor eaters are confined to bumping along the bottom, I should have made that clear, I just think they might miss out on some chances based on some opinions....whether that's romance or others! E.g. Dh's employers employ from a summer trainee programme mainly, where the people are looked at over a month or so, not just work but interaction, how its felt they'd relate with clients etc. social meals are an important part of this process.

But no, I know plenty of people who 'should' know better who have disgusting habits.

DUTR

lostinrates wrote: »

Good!

But I know plenty of poor eaters who have got through university. I don't think poor eaters are confined to bumping along the bottom, I should have made that clear, I just think they might miss out on some chances based on some opinions....whether that's romance or others! E.g. Dh's employers employ from a summer trainee programme mainly, where the people are looked at over a month or so, not just work but interaction, how its felt they'd relate with clients etc. social meals are an important part of this process.

But no, I know plenty of people who 'should' know better who have disgusting habits.

Just cos Dad does doesn't mean the rest of the family do, they are doing fine thanks to the encouragement of the family relationships and career wise.
In fact going for a meal in a restaurant this evening as it is his b/day tomorrow

lostinrates

DUTR wrote: »

Just cos Dad does doesn't mean the rest of the family do, they are doing fine thanks to the encouragement of the family relationships and career wise.

Again, great.....so wants the issue? His wife is happy, his kids are fine and prepared for life...its a non issue for them? I think that's fabulous. It doesn't mean that everyone will find it acceptable....and surely that's fine too?

paulineb_2

Im not sure that I eat correctly, Im not a noisy eater but when I saw a thread on here about table manners I thought, I dont do half of that.

I hold my fork in my right hand when eating, its more comfortable for me but apparently thats a big no no.

I live on my own so I can do what I like really, but when Ive been out no one has ever said to me, look at you and your manners, they are a disgrace, but when I read a thread on here where someone was fuming about a tv programme where people werent doing things correctly, I read the thread and thought, I hardly do any of that, I dont even know what the right way to eat is.

If that makes me common or whatever then so be it. When it comes to noise, I think people really cant help it. I used to work with someone who ate really noisily and he came from a family who were wealthy, it was just the way he ate.

DUTR

lostinrates wrote: »

Again, great.....so wants the issue? His wife is happy, his kids are fine and prepared for life...its a non issue for them? I think that's fabulous. It doesn't mean that everyone will find it acceptable....and surely that's fine too?

I agree, it was you though harping on about the kids will suffer etc, I agree not everyone will accept that, but on the counter, not everyone will file for divorce on what is in reality, petty. Are they who judge perfect themselves? How is it the 'only' person they could find is the one with poor eating habits? Whilst we all breath the same air nobody is better than another.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Just a thought...if somebody's eating habits are criticised, it could make them anxious about eating and backfire in that they eat even quicker.


I know that when an ex started picking up on the fact that I only use a fork in my right hand (due to having crap arthritis hands that can't manage a knife and a fork) and complaining that it wasn't taking long enough for my food to reach my mouth because I wasn't cutting it into 1cm pieces like his mum did, the stress involved meant I couldn't wait to get a meal finished so I could escape.



Having said that, another ex would douse every meal in about 4oz of butter, the same in grated cheese and then mash it all up into what reminded me of pigswill on the plate and then shovel it in with lots of sounds. It was revolting, but I didn't say anything - except I laughed when he complained that his mum's eating noises made him feel sick.

lostinrates

DUTR wrote: »

I agree, it was you though harping on about the kids will suffer etc, I agree not everyone will accept that, but on the counter, not everyone will file for divorce on what is in reality, petty. Are they who judge perfect themselves? How is it the 'only' person they could find is the one with poor eating habits? Whilst we all breath the same air nobody is better than another.

Not exactly, I said its hoped that if there are children they are taught ....that's not saying if there are children they will suffer! People are entitled to make choices, but they can only make those choices if they know they exist! In fact, I have said, what's the problem if it suits your sil and they children know what to do! I also think its extremely rude to correct others. The test of good manners is the tolerance of others lack of them. I would never correct your brother.

Pauline, your eating with your right hand wouldn't bother me personally in the least and actually, if you were not holding your knife at the same time its 'ok'. I also do that at home because its more comfortable for me, I do not do it out. I would be made queasy, but not say anything, about people eating with their mouth open, or talking and food falling out of their mouths. What would happen is,I would eat less. If at home we'd have music playing in the background and my husband would probably draw the guests attention to the music and point out there was something he wanted the guest to hear and ask me to have a look for it.