Does my Mum love me? (not respecting fear of stuff)

Georgiegirl256

manic_jaq wrote: »

hey look. yep, it's me. i'm the op.

Ok, if you really aren't the OP Then why on earth have you come on here sticking up for a complete stranger? Why this thread?

thorsoak

Now you are just plain boring - I'm going to watch some weeds grow!

Calien27

Can't be bothered to read through all nine pages but did the OP actually say they were a male or female? Because manic_jaq is referring to them as a she.

Tamsin_Temrin

The OP said they were male but had a feminine writing style.

thorsoak

early20s wrote: »

Yes I expect my Mum to change her life, because I'm her son, shouldn't she love and care about me

I will make the suggestion about cleaning thanks but she spends hours a week doing it, she is a bit OCD about cleaning

So says the original OP

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

early20s wrote: »

I have a serious fear of invasive chemical smells eg aftershave, deodorants, fake tan, when in near them, my heart beat will triple in speed, start sweating etc. I'm seeing a phschologist about it but shes not helping that much, I'm kind of stuck on the fact that these things aren't natural and why I am being forced to think they are normal for human life.

I'm on the edge now, have thought about suicide and running away - combined with work stress, I feel close to the edge sometimes.

the problem is, the only safe place is the home. But my Mum, she has given up perfume, but she still uses body sprays, spray deodorant and fake tan. For example if she sprays deodorant, I have to air seal shut my door, and wait for the deodorant smell to go away (usually around an hour). Also I have to keep the windows open 24 7. She also uses lots of chemical smelling cleaning products, eg if she cleans the kitchen, I can't go in there for at least an hour, or else I freak out. I've begged her to stop using them but shes not, and if I moan, she tells me to pack my bags. It brings me to tears that she isn't helping me and its like if I had a broken leg, she'd stand on it. I don't think she loves me.

She can't be expected to completely change her life on the basis of you having a mental illness. Yes, it's difficult for you - but that's because you aren't well, not because she doesn't love you - if she were to bend over backwards to accommodate what are, in all honesty, unreasonable demands and reactions (as I've said, because you are unwell), all she'd be doing was enabling you to stay in that same horrible health situation.


Get help. That way you can make good decisions - after all, running away isn't really something that'll help - what would you do if you encountered a smell where you ran to - start crying and threatening suicide/taping up doors and windows? You know this isn't right.



TL;DR Loving you and refusing to act in a way that sustains your illness is different to not caring.

Calien27

Yeah, you just happened to find this thread, decide to register and defend the OP when they weren't getting "there, there, your mum is a big meanie" replies.

A lot of people who posted in here have MH issues too, they aren't having hissy fits though about the advice that has been given. Probably because they aren't trolls.

StuC75

Which is entirely possible giving the strop they were having..

Tamsin_Temrin wrote: »

The OP said they were male but had a feminine writing style.

carefullycautious

Lagoon wrote: »

No it isn't. Coming into contact with these smells won't cause you any pain, illness or damage.

How can you categorically say the above. Do you have evidence.

I absolutely hate strong smelling chemicals no matter where they are from. They make my eyes water and make me sneeze constantly also making me have headaches and feel sick. So I have some empathy with the op

In fact I tried some impulse on in a shop a few days ago and came out in the most horrid red rash where I had sprayed it on my skin.

Nobody will convince me that all these chemicals are ok.

My advice to the op is to move out into your own place whilst having ongoing treatment as sealing the room is somewhat extreme. But I do know how you feel

System

I think we all need a group hug. :grouphug:






ok i'll get my coat