Living with parents - am I being unreasonable?

fawd1

dktreesea wrote: »

And aren't you a bit old to still be messy? "Messy" is what little kids are, not fully grown adults.

I disagree, people have different standards. My DH and I are, by nature, messy people. We just are, even though we both like things clean, we don't like it enough to actually have to do it. However, now we're parents, the house is very tidy, everything cleared away, wiped down etc etc. We want to teach our children a good way to live. This is why they're not allowed in our room. It's almost as if we've decided that our room can be a haven for our naturally messy ways!:rotfl:

Armchair23

Hmm I have a 25 year old living at home, and I just don't think it works that well for either side.

If you want to have your own space go out and get it, however crap , and then your parents have no say.

If you stay 'at home' it will always be an issue. Do you actually know how much it costs to run the house you share and what portion of that you think you should pay ?

For the families where it works I think great and well done to you all. But there are loads of us, parents and adult children, feeling very hard done by on both sides.

This is always one of those tricky ones because it's different for every family.

But truly if you want to not be accountable to your Dad wandering in and saying stuff - Move Out.

Spirit_2

My DD is 25. Lives at home, pays housekeeping and generally keeps her room like a tip.

It upsets me but she is entitled to privacy and I think that is important.

I ask her to undertake some shared household chores which she does, we keep the door to her room shut and I try not to let it get to me.

pmlindyloo

I have every sympathy with your dad. For us people who like things clean and tidy closing a door isn't the answer! We know the mess is lurking behind the door and it drives us mad (and yes, I shine taps!)

We can't help it and it drives my family mad.


Yes, it's unreasonable but you won't change his ways.


I am also wondering who cleans the room. Cleaning a messy room is a nightmare. If you are supposed to clean it perhaps it's not to his standards as well ( a double whammy!)


Shape up or ship out !

ailuro2

Tidy it this time round, except for the copy of the local rag with flats circled in red you're going to leave strewn on the bed/carpet... see whether he throws it out or not. Subtle hint for him, and a reminder of the help you give him without charge - not for a minute suggesting you charge him for help, but if he realises that you're quite helpful in lots of other ways, he might decide he can shut the door on your "mess" to keep your relationship half decent.

warehouse

I think your Dad is trying to encourage you to move out fairly quickly. A clever man IMO.

Savvy_Sue

sherri01 wrote: »

I wish my 20 year old son was as respectful, had a job for 6 months, got sack for not turning up says he can't afford to pay board ( but he can afford to go to the pub!) keeps his room filthy including food wrappers & dirty plates. Also keeps the kitchen a mess, supposed to keep the garden tidy as part of the family but will always do it tomorrow, just as I get ready to tell him to leave he shows me a letter from college where he starts full time in Sept. He will not have any money so will not be able to support himself for at least the next 2 years. I'll swop your parents children anytime you should have privacy at your age.

Is there a foyer near you? Any other supported housing for under 25s? If he's 20, he should be able to claim JSA (even if he doesn't get any) and JOB HUNTING until college starts.

claire16c

dktreesea wrote: »

Couldn't agree more. You're 24 years old, for goodness sake. What on earth are you doing still living at home?

If your privacy is important to you, and you would like to live however you please, living with your parents is hardly the place to be, is it?

And aren't you a bit old to still be messy? "Messy" is what little kids are, not fully grown adults.

It's hardly unusual for a 24 year old to live at home.

Lots of adults are messy!

I think it sounds like the Dad has a touch of OCD.

geoffky

You are very lucky because at 24 you would not be living in my house...You are a adult so go out into the world and act like one...Some people need the push or they become cuckoos in the nest..

[Deleted User]

Here's some fun - ask your dad if he's declared any of the 'rent' you pay to the taxman...

The way I see it, if a parent charges their children (of whatever age) to live in the family home, then they need to respect their space. None of this 'my house, my rules' - when you charge any rent, you need to give up some of the space in the house to them.

I do think 24 is the sort of age you need to look at moving out though, especially if it is becoming detrimental to your relationship with your dad.