Living with parents - am I being unreasonable?

Brighton_belle

I thought you were a bloke . Nothing girly about your user name or way you write:D
You didn't come across as remotely ungrateful.

You're dad sounds like he has a touch of the OCD's.

Otherwise all sounds good between you.

Goldiegirl

Well, I think you have a point, and I'm probably in the same age group as your dad.

As long as you keep the house tidy in the shared areas, what goes on in your room is your business.

Your dad has no real need to see or know how tidy or not your personal room is.

meritaten

I don't agree that its 'their house their rules' in this case. The OP is paying rent and should be able to regard their room as 'thiers'. what is her dad doing in there anyway? I would say that the parents should keep out of her room and actually give her some privacy. would they give the same ultimatum to a lodger?

Funky_Bold_Ribena

meritaten wrote: »

I don't agree that its 'their house their rules' in this case. The OP is paying rent and should be able to regard their room as 'thiers'. what is her dad doing in there anyway? I would say that the parents should keep out of her room and actually give her some privacy. would they give the same ultimatum to a lodger?

HIS dad - it's a bloke.

pelirocco

maybe hes hoping you move out lol . I have 2 living at home and their rooms ( state of ) drive me mad ,sometimes but choose not to go into battle over it . However I am with your dad , his house his rules , the fact that you pay 'keep' doesnt give you a say in it

Much as i love my kids and they see me as not want to let go of the apron strings , its bloody lovely when they are away sometimes

dktreesea

Lagoon wrote: »

I'm with those saying that you keep the house, including your room, to your father's standards.

You say that at 24 you're 'not a kid anymore', but you are living in that child/parent environment. Your age at the moment has nothing to do with it - it's the dynamic of the household.

Moving out is the answer. If you want to live as an adult, don't live with your mum and dad.

Couldn't agree more. You're 24 years old, for goodness sake. What on earth are you doing still living at home?

If your privacy is important to you, and you would like to live however you please, living with your parents is hardly the place to be, is it?

And aren't you a bit old to still be messy? "Messy" is what little kids are, not fully grown adults.

BitterAndTwisted

Despite what I posted earlier I do think your father is being overbearing and unreasonable but you are in a very weak position. Their house, their rules. Doesn't mater whether you're paying the bare minimum and they're doing you a massive favour or the equivalent of rent in a flat or house-share.

Moving back into your parents' home after living independently can mean you all fall back on parent/child behaviour. To be honest, I just think your Dad would rather you spread your wings and they can get their privacy back. He could be a controlling so-and-so but if he is, what would knowing that change? Nothing.

elsien

dktreesea wrote: »

And aren't you a bit old to still be messy? "Messy" is what little kids are, not fully grown adults.

Nope, I'm messy. And fast approaching middle age. And it bothers my mother no end when she calls round. I just tell her life's too short to fret about things being in the right place, she only needs to worry when she can't find a chair to sit on.

meg72

I i would move out love, dont be treated like a child, you are grown up and paying for your space, would your Dad treat a lodger this way, I think Not.

I have my own home but went to care for my Mum when she had a nasty fall , I did 24/7 for 6 months with barely a break and just threw in the towel when she was informed by family members that my room was messy. She couldnt see it for herself as she was unable to climb the stairs but was apparently sending family members and neighbours to check on my room.

I didnt pay rent as had to pay all of the bills on my own house but I paid half the housekeeping and she received full attendence allowance.

The rest of the house was immaculate , but she listened to them and told me it was her house and I could keep my room tidy or go, I went
and she died a very lonely old lady.

Brighton_belle

dktreesea wrote: »

And aren't you a bit old to still be messy? "Messy" is what little kids are, not fully grown adults.

Messy is a very relative term. To a minimalist a postcard from a friend stuck on the fridge for a day is 'messy'. To someone else, it's shows they live in a home.