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Wannabehappy_2

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Torry_Quine

southcoastrgi wrote: »

it's like i said most men get turned on by a visual thing, while women it's about love & feelings.

there is a reason why you have a draw full of underwear & he has 6 pairs of boxers, there is a reason why there is hundreds of top shelve mags aimed at men but only a handful aimed at women, there is a reason why places like ann summers are always busy selling sexy clothes for women & not one dedicated just for men, just because he looks doesn't mean you don't turn him on or that he doesn't love you

I detest shops like Ann Summers as to me they are in many aspects pornographic and sadly La Senza is going the same way.

bagpussbear wrote: »

Some folks are less bothered by !!!!!! than others, for some its a deal breaker.

For me it's a deal breaker. I genuinely don't understand why a husband or wife who is happy, in love and having regular sex with their partner would need to look at !!!!!!. But that's just how I feel. Realise some couples look at it together, each to their own I guess.

So what it comes down to is whether this is a deal breaker for YOU and if so, then give your hubby an ultimatum. I know you have kiddies involved, so its not going to be easy. But you need to ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life with low self esteem, constantly comparing yourself to the fantasy women on screen etc. and consequently not having your needs met in the bedroom because you now feel "stupid".

I think a heart to heart with your husband is needed, tell him exactly what you've told us here.

Only you can decide whether you can turn a blind eye, or not. But really .... should you have to :-(

Very well put, totally agree here. How can she feel comfortable as in her mind he is comparing her unfavourably

**professor~yaffle**

It's going to be different for each person. Some would say 'you can whet your appetite wherever you want, as long as you eat at home' but for you it's a sign that you are not good enough for him. You need to have an honest chat with him, ask him why he likes !!!!!!.

Wannabehappy_2

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lindsaygalaxy

First of all, please don't think that he is looking at !!!!!! because he doesn't think you are attractive! It is just an outlet for him, maybe he thinks you are less interested in s** after the birth of your child or maybe he has a bigger s** drive. However, I am not overly keen on DP watching it, and would be a bit annoyed if he was!
He is probably clearing the history so he doesn't get caught lol. Just tell him you don't like it because of how it makes you feel and that you want him to show you that he wants you in the same way.

burnoutbabe

you could have counselling (on your own or together) to discuss the issue so you come to peace with it?

and if not, then leave or "put up with it".

hayday75

Some people have sexual urges that need to be relieved quickly ! .
This is where !!!!!! becomes useful . Nothing to do with cheating or trust in my opinion

Torry_Quine

lindsaygalaxy wrote: »

First of all, please don't think that he is looking at !!!!!! because he doesn't think you are attractive! It is just an outlet for him, maybe he thinks you are less interested in s** after the birth of your child or maybe he has a bigger s** drive. However, I am not overly keen on DP watching it, and would be a bit annoyed if he was!
He is probably clearing the history so he doesn't get caught lol. Just tell him you don't like it because of how it makes you feel and that you want him to show you that he wants you in the same way.

To me and I suspect the OP it does mean that he doesn't find her to be the look he wants or why else look at it. this may not be true but it's how it would feel to me.

burnoutbabe wrote: »

you could have counselling (on your own or together) to discuss the issue so you come to peace with it?

While counselling for the marriage may be good why should she come to peace with him being so selfish?

Wannabehappy_2

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burnoutbabe

as it seems better than just leaving a man whom you have kids with. Sounds like a self confidence issue that the OP has and they can work through it together.

If he gives up the !!!!!!, is he still allowed his "alone time"? or is that banned too?