Those who are waiting to TTC (New Thread)

chelseablue

ilovelondontown wrote: »

I've got to ask; on a day to day basis, how often do you think about all things ttc/pregnancy/baby related?

I feel like it's getting rediculous for me, I mean I literally wake up thinking about it- which is partly because I'm charting but then I'm preoccupied with it all day long.

It doesn't help that I don't really have anyone IRL to talk about how I'm feeling with- apart from DH who often has to tell me enough already! Talk about something else!?

Am I the only one who feels this way?

No your not alone! I take my conception vitamin with my breakfast so thats me pretty much set for the day of thinking about TTC

I also only have you lovely ladies on here to chat too, I dont want to tell anyone in the 'real world' about TTC as I dont want to jinx it

wangdoodle

Hi all

browneyedbazzi we do seem to have a lot in common yes. Hopefully soon we will both have a pregnancy/ baby in common too :eek:

chelseablue my OH is the same. He's excited to have children but I don't think he understands that it might not be so straightforward. He very much thinks it's a case of "put pen!5 in, get cute baby out" :rotfl:

sethisis I agree it's nice to have a supportive group to go to, stops me feeling so crazy!

ilovelondontown I've been completely obsessed lately too. Think about it all day after popping my folic acid in the morning!

WD x

ilovelondontown

We hit a milestone this week when it comes to our personal finances. So much so that DH is now effectively DF while I'm down to the last £4K ish- which will be down to £1.5 by the end of the year. Given that we started with over £20k of debt at the highest in June last year I feel incredibly proud of our achievement.

We don't feel any better off by any means, but the psycological aspect has been huge. A weight has been lifted off our shoulders and we no longer have the question on our lips of can we afford children?

The downside of this is that there is nothing stopping us from going ahead and ttc now, I'm ready, it's all I can think about and my feelings on starting a family are the strongest they've ever been. The trouble is DH is still keen to stick to the December timeline, and I now look at the 5 months I have ahead of me as the longest wait ever

It really is a case of having cake on the table but I'm not allowed to eat it until he says when. He wants time to "enjoy life before it changes forever" and I've tried explaining this to him that this could well take months, years even but he won't be moved.

We're not rowing about it, it's a discussion but I'm 29 and do have some possible medical issues that I will face when it comes to ttc and I worry now that if we wait and find ourselves trying for years I will resent him for that.

I feel like the joy of being able to start ttc if we wanted is being weight down with a heavy heart that I have to wait. If DH truly wants to wait I have to respect that, I don't want to go into this without him 100% on board, but he's saying I need to take a step back and I can't seem to work out how? How can I occupy my mind for 5 months when it's all I can think about?

Sethisis

Ilovelondontown I know it can be really frustrating waiting for your partner to decide he's ready to start ttc, it kind of feels like instead of being a joint decision, he's calling all the shots. But there are loads of ways to make the next 5 months easier! You say you have medical issues you may have to deal with, can you start preparing your body now? Maybe get a plan of action in gear for how to make it easier when the time comes?

Also, one thing I found helps with the waiting is to give yourself about half an hour each day to completely immerse yourself in everything baby related, then at the end of that say "OK I'm done, time to focus on today."

Congratulations on how well you've done with the debt as well! If you're strong enough to that, you're strong enough to get through these next few months

wangdoodle

ilovelondontown aw honey, it's so hard isn't it? But youve done so well to get all that debt paid off, you should be proud.Try not to worry too much. You're young yet. Time is in your side and its not a long wait, 5 months will just fly by! Buy yourself 5 boxes of tampons now and as you see your stocks dwindle it'll be a great visual representation of your progress towards TTC day!

In my case it's me imposing the wait (and I've got 5 years on you age wise :eek:) which makes it doubly hard as I know if I suggested we just went for it OH would probably agree. But I know I'm doing the right thing for us being sensible.

Set your self a wee project to keep you occupied for 5 months. Learn a new skill (knitting or something so you can make beautiful things for baby once you're up duffed), take a course, join a club or committee or maybe train for a 10k. There's so much you can do to distract you and help the time pass. Hopefully we'll be TTC around the same time so can be buddies on the "proper" TTC thread

WD x

ilovelondontown

Sethisis wrote: »

Ilovelondontown I know it can be really frustrating waiting for your partner to decide he's ready to start ttc, it kind of feels like instead of being a joint decision, he's calling all the shots. But there are loads of ways to make the next 5 months easier! You say you have medical issues you may have to deal with, can you start preparing your body now? Maybe get a plan of action in gear for how to make it easier when the time comes?

Also, one thing I found helps with the waiting is to give yourself about half an hour each day to completely immerse yourself in everything baby related, then at the end of that say "OK I'm done, time to focus on today."

Congratulations on how well you've done with the debt as well! If you're strong enough to that, you're strong enough to get through these next few months

Thanks Sethisis- that's exactly how I feel- it needs to be a joint decision but what he says is somehow allowed to trump what I'm saying... I definately need to stop doing so much "research" that can't help my feelings. I think the finances thing has really just made me feel like the gate to the path of ttc has opened some months early and it's hard not to go running into it as excited as I am! :rotfl:

ilovelondontown

wangdoodle wrote: »

ilovelondontown aw honey, it's so hard isn't it? But youve done so well to get all that debt paid off, you should be proud.Try not to worry too much. You're young yet. Time is in your side and its not a long wait, 5 months will just fly by! Buy yourself 5 boxes of tampons now and as you see your stocks dwindle it'll be a great visual representation of your progress towards TTC day!

In my case it's me imposing the wait (and I've got 5 years on you age wise :eek:) which makes it doubly hard as I know if I suggested we just went for it OH would probably agree. But I know I'm doing the right thing for us being sensible.

Set your self a wee project to keep you occupied for 5 months. Learn a new skill (knitting or something so you can make beautiful things for baby once you're up duffed), take a course, join a club or committee or maybe train for a 10k. There's so much you can do to distract you and help the time pass. Hopefully we'll be TTC around the same time so can be buddies on the "proper" TTC thread

WD x

Thanks WD, you sure know exactly what to say don't you I've been very good at getting healthier and making sure I'm eating the right things etc, my problems are an underactive thyroid and pcos. I've spent years doing what I can to make the side effect as minimal as they can be but ironically I won't know if there will be any issues until, well there are issues!

Does it bother you that at 21-23 everyone say ohh your too young for children, you've got loads of time and by the time your hitting the big 3-0 everyone says QUICK! you're running out of time. No wonder women of child bearing age spend so mcuh time feeling.... :eek:

I definately need some psychological ways of counting down the months. I got all excited this morning when I noticed that the horse chestnut trees on my road are getting ripe with conkers- ie, it's nearly autumn and then it'll be winter ttc time. The way my mind works - amazing I managed to find someone to marry me really!

ThinkPink

Ilovelondontown- well done of clearing the debt, youve done so well. Just think though by waiting till December you will be able to get some more savings so that you can either have a bit longer off on maternity or buy some extra nice maternity or baby bits. December really isnt long away, (lol, 121 days till 1st December).

Oh and I agree about the turning 30 part- since getting married last year and turning 30 this year I feel the pressure!!:rotfl:

I think we will start TTC in December aswell (providing my period has returned when I come off the pill next month) so it sounds like there will be a few of us joining the other thread at the same time!:D

DomRavioli

Hi all, hope you are all well - sorry its been so long since I posted. I've had a couple more minor operations and a massive change in medication, and this morning I got the news about it all...we can now start to have a family.

We are going to start around January next year so will be popping on still and lurking!

I'm so thankful for all the support that you have given us over the last 15 months, you have all honestly helped to get us through the difficult times.

We're working to reduce the tiny little bit of debt we have left (£650 on a credit card) and get a little savings behind us.

browneyedbazzi

That's fantastic news DomRavioli! I'm really pleased for you. The time between now and January will absolutely fly by (the autumn always does) so you'll be TTC before you know it!