Those who are waiting to TTC (New Thread)

Cookiee

Hi lovely peeps x

I have been secretly reading all your threads and feel I would love to join you ...

My TTC Stats:

My Age/Partners age: 32 (almost 33)/40
Time together: 17+ years (married 4+ years)
What are you waiting for?!: Money, money and normal smear tests (sorry if TMI)
When will you be TTC? March 2014 onwards
Any preTTC prep? Losing weight (1.5stone so far, 5 to go)
I'm taking my mind off TTC by... practicing the art of TTC :rotfl:

OH and I have been together since I was 16 and he was my 1st boyfriend. Life can be cruel and I have been through 2 twin miscarriages, a hole in my womb, 2 pre cancer scares (both having laser treatments). All my family (on both sides) have had either:
Overian cancer, cervical cancer
ALL have had hysterectomies by 30 (both grandmums, my mum, all 4 aunts and now 1 cousin)

The only difference is I have not had kids and they have all had children. Whilst people have decided how to live my lift and call me some really painful things like I am cruel to my OH not having kids:eek:, I should divorce my OH so he can have kids with someone who can have kids :eek: I should get pregnant and live of the benefits :eek: (I have never been unemployed since the age of 15) the list is endless.

Anyways ..... the situation is now that I am waiting on a 3rd ok from my smear. If that's good then it is looking promising. We will be debt free in May next year and this will then help towards covering maternity pay. I would lose approx. £850 a month so need to save this. I get so angry with people who say that I should sod money and get on with it :mad: Don't they think that if I could wave a magic wand I would! however I think that having a roof over our heads and food on the table is more responsible then being in debt, homeless and living of benefits.

Ok rant over (reaches over for a "low fat" chocolate bar) :rotfl:I look forward to reading about everyone and helping us all look forward to the day when we will officially be TTC :A

ilovelondontown

Thanks Jonesy... It did suck and I really have spent the whole day feeling sorry for myself. Now the pity party has been thrown I need to refocus my attention forward, you're right, it's not long now. What's your DFD now? I did a quick calculation to the first of December and that 111 days, That doesn't seem quite so bad

Miss_Bolan wrote: »

hi Paige Turner and all others!

I have been on holiday for a week so haven't been around, but I have come back and read the board with interest.

I am probably going to sound like the most stupid woman in the world here, but are most people who are 'waiting to ttc' coming off their contraception before 'trying'? It hadn't occurred to me to stop taking my pill until we were actively ttc - am I being naive?!?

I have been on the pill/contraception since a very young age (15) as i had appalling acne as a teenager and they prescribed a type of pill to help with hormones to help with acne (it didn't mind you!). I have tried others such as the injection/implant but I have been on some contraception almost my entire post puberty life! Should I be stopping? My sex drive is not great, i didnt really think about the pill having much to do with it. I don't want sex to become something we do to just make a baby.

And also, I am aware of tracking ovulation, but I thought this was more something you needed to do if you didn't 'get pregnant', am I also niave about this?

All of you ladies seem to have been so proactive when 'waiting to ttc' and I haven't done anything except set a hypothetical date for it (which was April, but is slowly creeping to xmas!)..... am i doing it wrong?

I am having a bad day today, watching One Born after 3 glasses of wine while feeling post-holiday blues (spent with 3 baby nices/nephews) was probably not the best idea....

Miss Bolan you are not naïve, I didn't know anything about ttc until I actually starting thinking about ttc and all the questions your asking are good ones! Got to start somewhere!

It is a good idea to come off the pill before you start ttc as it gives you a chance to regulate a real pattern of cycles, although this is entirely your choice. Some say you are super fertile after stopping the pill because your body kicks into action again after being regulated for so long.

The idea of being hormone free also helps you to track your cycle and see what's going on in your body so if you're like me who has an idea of when they want to start, you have a better idea of when you're most fertile and what signs to look out for- remember you only have a window of a few days a cycle to actually conceive. I say all this in the same breath that I say I haven't got a flaming flucking clue what's going on in my own cycle at the moment! :rotfl:

ilovelondontown

sulphate wrote: »

Had a chat with DH on holiday and he said that he doesn't want to try for a baby just yet. Reason being, I work FT and he works PT and is at uni (third year, will finish next summer). Although he earns an OK wage for the hours he does, he says he thinks it would be irresponsible for us to try for a baby now due to financial situation. I could support us on my own but as i would ideally want to go part time after we had a baby I see his point.

I was really sad about it but i suppose it's the right thing to do and i want to be a responsible parent. I don't know why I thought we were in a position now, how stupid. I'm 26 so time is on our side, I just feel gutted about it.

Maybe by christmas next year...

Also lol at how everyone else is having babies around me... I changed jobs last year but still keep in touch with some friends from my old job, and found out/realised a couple of weeks ago that NINE ladies I used to work with have either had a baby in the last year, or are now pregnant! I'm so glad I'm no longer working there! :rotfl:

Oh and Miss Bolan, you don't HAVE to come off the pill awhile before you start ttc but some ladies choose to do it because it can take a few months for your periods to come back/cycles to regulate afterwards. I first came off the pill a few years ago and didn't get a period for 5 months

Oh Sulphate that sucks, I've lost count the amount of times DH have had to move our goal post. I would have started years ago if DH had let me - but in my heart of hearts I know that he's right about our current timeline, it's reasonable and will hold us in good stead.

Like you say you have time on your side, so the best thing you can do is get "your ducks in a row" so when the time is right you can get stuck in!

ilovelondontown

Cookiee wrote: »

Hi lovely peeps x

I have been secretly reading all your threads and feel I would love to join you ...

My TTC Stats:

My Age/Partners age: 32 (almost 33)/40
Time together: 17+ years (married 4+ years)
What are you waiting for?!: Money, money and normal smear tests (sorry if TMI)
When will you be TTC? March 2014 onwards
Any preTTC prep? Losing weight (1.5stone so far, 5 to go)
I'm taking my mind off TTC by... practicing the art of TTC :rotfl:

OH and I have been together since I was 16 and he was my 1st boyfriend. Life can be cruel and I have been through 2 twin miscarriages, a hole in my womb, 2 pre cancer scares (both having laser treatments). All my family (on both sides) have had either:
Overian cancer, cervical cancer
ALL have had hysterectomies by 30 (both grandmums, my mum, all 4 aunts and now 1 cousin)

The only difference is I have not had kids and they have all had children. Whilst people have decided how to live my lift and call me some really painful things like I am cruel to my OH not having kids:eek:, I should divorce my OH so he can have kids with someone who can have kids :eek: I should get pregnant and live of the benefits :eek: (I have never been unemployed since the age of 15) the list is endless.

Anyways ..... the situation is now that I am waiting on a 3rd ok from my smear. If that's good then it is looking promising. We will be debt free in May next year and this will then help towards covering maternity pay. I would lose approx. £850 a month so need to save this. I get so angry with people who say that I should sod money and get on with it :mad: Don't they think that if I could wave a magic wand I would! however I think that having a roof over our heads and food on the table is more responsible then being in debt, homeless and living of benefits.

Ok rant over (reaches over for a "low fat" chocolate bar) :rotfl:I look forward to reading about everyone and helping us all look forward to the day when we will officially be TTC :A

Hi Cookiee- Welcome welcome! Always lovely to see new newbies on the board, safety (insanity) in numbers!

I had to take a long deep breath after reading your post, you have been through the mill haven't you! I'm like you, I don't agree with bowing to pressure to have child because everyone else says it'll be ok if I'm in debt or need to rely on benefits to support my family.

I've had previous abnormal smears so I'm well aware of the uncertainty and fear they can instil in you- when do you get your next all clear?

We're a lovely bunch and don't bite, so stick around, hopefully you'll be ttc sooner than May- I'm shovelling great mounds of money at my debt and we've gone from a joint debt of £23k+ to the last £6k ish in less than a year so it can be done!

I hope your OH defends you against the spiteful suggestions to let him go off and have kids with someone else?

afoolandhermoney

Hello and welcome to everyone new!

sulphate - how did you start your chat with your OH? I really need to talk to mine again as I'm really struggling with the waiting as there just seems to be no end in sight. We haven't got a TTC date and all he'll ever say is "not while we live here" (to me, his mother, my mother, anyone else who asks if we're ever having kids).

Things certainly aren't ideal for us right now, but I'm getting really really broody and just want to know if its ever going to happen.
I know I need to let him know how I feel, but I just don't know how to start the conversation - I've tried before and he just gets defensive and refuses to listen

BugglyB

afoolandhermoney wrote: »

Hello and welcome to everyone new!

sulphate - how did you start your chat with your OH? I really need to talk to mine again as I'm really struggling with the waiting as there just seems to be no end in sight. We haven't got a TTC date and all he'll ever say is "not while we live here" (to me, his mother, my mother, anyone else who asks if we're ever having kids).

Things certainly aren't ideal for us right now, but I'm getting really really broody and just want to know if its ever going to happen.
I know I need to let him know how I feel, but I just don't know how to start the conversation - I've tried before and he just gets defensive and refuses to listen

If you know he is going to say 'not while we live here' - do you have a plan for moving?

Maybe you can have a better dialogue if you start by saying 'I know and understand that you don't want to have children while we live here, I wondered if we can plan together for moving in the next few years' etc.

I know its tough on everyone, but do try not to wish away your lives. You need to work on developing the coping skills for if TTC doesn't work.

Jonesy88

I'm feeling positive today - i did an online survery and 1 of the questions was "are you currently pregnant or plan to be so in the 12 months?". Took me a second to realise and another to double check that yes, April is less than 12 months away! I know it sound silly but answering yes made my day

ilovelondontown

Jonesy88 wrote: »

I'm feeling positive today - i did an online survery and 1 of the questions was "are you currently pregnant or plan to be so in the 12 months?". Took me a second to realise and another to double check that yes, April is less than 12 months away! I know it sound silly but answering yes made my day

Ah Jonesy, ha-ha! I LOVE it! and it's totally something that would get me buzzing too! In fact I had something similar happen to me the other day, best friend mentioned that she's getting numbers together for a girly trip to Marbella next year and basically counted me in her numbers before actually asking me and I thought... er I don't know if I will be able to go I might be fat and pregnant then :j

ilovelondontown

I know this goes against the entire grain of being solongingtottcyouwanttodoitnow but does anyone every have moments/days when they revel in the fact that they don't have kids yet?

Just a few examples- today I woke up feeling SO tired, not my normal shower/coffee/gym fix would sort me out and I couldn't be more grateful for being able to slum it out tonight in my pj's let the housework fall sides ways and watch Bridget Jones?

To that point watching Bridget Jones makes me remember how nice it is to be an adult and do adult things without any responsibilities.

Maybe a few more of these sort of reminders will help keep me from going broody-mad till December.

Anyone else want to share?

Sethisis

ilovelondontown Actually I get that occasionally. Most of the time is extreme broodiness, but then there are times when I think having a baby around 24/7 would be exhausting/ terrifying. Today I got back from work feeling awful and tired so I'm quite grateful that that I don't have to muster up the energy to look after a little human being.

How is it that the idea of having a baby is both massively exciting and scary?