Those who are waiting to TTC (New Thread)

Estateprincess

Sethisis wrote: »

Estateprincess I imagine you're welcome in both threads at the minute... feel free to hang around here and try to stay calm until you're ready to move on Maybe you'll go and get pregnant while still in shock that you're not on the pill :rotfl:

Also, thanks for the positive response about the contraception fantasy! I was expecting people to reply saying I was some sort of sick weirdo.

Well OH is convinced his swimmers are on the case and this time next year we'll have a 2 month old!! :rotfl: It would be typical me though - I never do seem to do anything the straight forward way despite how hard I try!

And no problem, I think when we get to the really broody stage our logical side is saying wait but our hormones are saying go for it (either that or we're both weirdo's - at least we can be weird together!) so taking the pill is 'logic' and hoping it won't work is 'hormones'.

Sethisis

Ok, I'm afraid I may have to bring down the tone of the thread for a moment. please feel free to ignore this pathetic self pitying post, I just need to get it out.

I'm really, Really tired of this post miscarriage - pre ttc limbo now. I've been stuck in it for years, and for some stupid reason I've decided to get back into education for the next three years, so really shouldn't be getting pregnant until that is over. If I did but then couldn't cope with motherhood and the course it would be a complete waste of time and money, and I'd be left feeling like an idiot.

The thing is, I can't wrap my head around having to carry on with this desperation/ frustration/ jealousy/ despair for another few years. I'm sick of being 'sensible' and just want to be a mother (although I realise those are conflicting statements as mothers have to at least try to be sensible).

I feel as though I nearly had my chance, then had it snatched away and I'll never get it back. Throw in the lingering doubt that I'll be able to even have a miscarriage free pregnancy (irrational, but still there), and I'm just losing my mind.

Usually I can just keep busy and keep a good mental balance, but sometimes it just hits me, like tonight. It just doesn't seem to be getting any easier. Sorry to come here and rant at you guys, I just didn't want to rant at my partner again - I bet he's got this speech memorised now

I promise to be more positive tomorrow though, moping isn't going to solve anything!

RebekahR

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

I had an emergency section as I had a failed induction and she became in distress. I've been told there's no reason why VBAC shouldn't be suitable as long as baby number two complies!

Oh yes your very suitable!! Hope you get one! Hope my next one is bum up instead of head up

JellyBox

Sethisis wrote: »

I promise to be more positive tomorrow though, moping isn't going to solve anything!

Never feel you have to be positive here, I think we are all in a limbo of various states, not actively doing anything to become mothers, but just waiting. There are always going to be times when waiting is too much and leaves you needing to have a crazy rant, definitely get it out here rather than at your partner, if it helps

In terms of waiting til your education is finished, I guess you need to really weigh up how you would feel if you did get pregnant, then couldn't return to your course for any reason. Would it be worth it? It's definitely possible to do, someone on my degree had a break midway through her second year, took a year break and then returned to get a first class honours degree whilst working and being a single mother (she was incredible mind, no idea how she did it all).

I am definitely not in the optimum situation I thought I'd be in when TTC, but OH and I have decided we would rather have a family than lots of money, and I have been trying to carve a little niche of paperwork in my job so that I can still do something when I am fat and waddling! For me, having a baby is more important than reaching my career or education goals right now, I have worked out that I should be able to get my life back after, but have also made myself consider the fact that it might not happen and I might never progress career wise and be caught in a dead end job forever, and I think, for me, it's a worthwhile compromise.

Estateprincess

Sethisis wrote: »

The thing is, I can't wrap my head around having to carry on with this desperation/ frustration/ jealousy/ despair for another few years. I'm sick of being 'sensible' and just want to be a mother (although I realise those are conflicting statements as mothers have to at least try to be sensible).

Usually I can just keep busy and keep a good mental balance, but sometimes it just hits me, like tonight. It just doesn't seem to be getting any easier. Sorry to come here and rant at you guys, I just didn't want to rant at my partner again - I bet he's got this speech memorised now

I could have written this January last year.
All my friends were either pregnant or had babies and I was frustrated that I was being sensible!
My one friend was pregnant without even knowing until about 18weeks and I felt that it wasn't fair as she had said she wanted to wait to have children. I had a bad couple of months and OH took the brunt of it. His sister even made me go to the doctors to test for low iron as I was just so moody, down & tired of things. Tests came back ok, the weather got better and I started feeling a bit more normal again. We spent a lot of time doing couple things and enjoying lazy days that wouldn't have been possible with a baby and I got my head around waiting.
I still got broody but without the moody!

I can also sympathise with deciding to get back into education. I went back to get my professional qualification, after having been away from uni for 2 years, in 2010 when I was 24.
I was broody then but OH said it would make sense to get the qualification before children as then I would always have it to fall back on. I want a family but I also want a good job (I’d go stir crazy staying at home as much as I adore children and everyone says how maternal I am) so I decided to go back for 2 years and get my exams over and done with. This seemed to be the time my friends all decided they were going to start having babies and I spent the whole time convincing myself that I was doing things the right way for Me and OH.
I qualified in 2012 and then put into action paying off my student overdraft, tuition fees and saving to have time off work.

You will get there which ever route you take. I will say I’m glad I have done my qualifications before children, I have friends doing it the other way round and they are doing fantastically but, for me, it would be too much.

Chin up lovely x

Sethisis

Ok, I'm feeling a lot more like a normal human being today! Thanks for the lack of judgement, and the two conflicting views :rotfl:

I think I'm just going to have a Proper conversation with my OH. Ask him if we would be ok having a baby then me getting qualified, or whether the financial security is more important. I can't keep trying to negotiate dates with myself in my head and then getting upset when it looks like it's not going to happen!

No more ranting from me, I feel cleansed and refreshed (for now)

How's everyone else doing?

mouthscradle

Booked to have my implant out on the 18th Feb, dreading it but can't wait for it to come out! Also stocked up on ovulation tests, a few pregnancy tests, some conceive plus (every little helps!) and a basal thermometer for charting... I'm clearly obsessed. Bit worried that even though I know it might take a while, I'm gonna be really disappointed if I don't get pregnant in the first couple of months

Sethisis

Mouthscradle Sounds like you're well prepared! Don't worry about having the implant out, I found it was easier than having it put in in the first place, and everyone I've spoken to has said it's fine.

Maybe try and enjoy the getting to know your body/ cycle thing that happens while TTC and maybe it'll take your mind off things?

mouthscradle

Sethisis wrote: »

Mouthscradle Sounds like you're well prepared! Don't worry about having the implant out, I found it was easier than having it put in in the first place, and everyone I've spoken to has said it's fine.

Maybe try and enjoy the getting to know your body/ cycle thing that happens while TTC and maybe it'll take your mind off things?

I stupidly watched some videos of it online and it looked so painful. I saw some where it had got stuck to the tissue inside and they really had to pull hard on it. Looked horrific Although the doctor assures me that mine will be fine as it's close to the surface and easy to feel.

Sethisis

:rotfl: Don't go looking it up online! You'll be too scared to ever have it out!

Really, relax, the worst part is the anaesthetic, and that's just a normal needle.