Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

Dimey

herand wrote: »

Then the reason behind her frustrations would be a risk of cheating. Not that the the Husband looks at pornography or is bisexual. The responses here saying that they should separate because he has the audacity to not be straight or that they have not "consummated" the marriage didn't agree with me. Surely love (and marriage) should be more than simply sex.

That's not the way I read the posts.
I believe they are - as ever - concentrating on the deceit. The husband did not tell the OP before she married him so she had no opportunity to decide whether that was the life she wanted.

The posts have not been judgemental as to whether !!!!!! or bisexuality are good, bad or indifferent.

Looking forward the posts are warning of the greater opportunity for infidelity through Chat rooms.

securityguy

Next time we have evangelical Christians complaining about pre-marital sex, this case could perhaps act as an example of where a bit more pre-marital sex (or, perhaps, attempted pre-marital sex) would have saved an awful lot of heartache.

securityguy

fluffnutter wrote: »

No they didn't. They left him when they found out he's gay.

Precisely. There's a difference between being supportive of the OP's unenviable situation and assisting her in maintaining a counter-factual position. A gay man married, for whatever reason, women who, again for whatever reason, were happy to marry him. Then the facts came out (to unintentionally coin a phrase). The women in question left him, under circumstances of which the OP has only one, compromised, account. The most likely answer is what fluffnutter says: they left him, because they found that they had married a gay man who wasn't actually interested in them.

Are we suddenly living in 1955? In might be relevant to ask what the cultural background of the man (and, indeed, the wives) is.

fluffnutter

herand wrote: »

The responses here saying that they should separate because he has the audacity to not be straight or that they have not "consummated" the marriage didn't agree with me. Surely love (and marriage) should be more than simply sex.

Um, my husband's heterosexuality is an absolute requisite for our being married. Are you really suggesting that it's a bit too much to ask that your partner's straight? It's also madness to think that it's OK to not consummate a marriage unless for some reason you've both decided to have a sexless relationship.

fluffnutter

securityguy wrote: »

Precisely. There's a difference between being supportive of the OP's unenviable situation and assisting her in maintaining a counter-factual position. A gay man married, for whatever reason, women who, again for whatever reason, were happy to marry him. Then the facts came out (to unintentionally coin a phrase). The women in question left him, under circumstances of which the OP has only one, compromised, account. The most likely answer is what fluffnutter says: they left him, because they found that they had married a gay man who wasn't actually interested in them.

Are we suddenly living in 1955? In might be relevant to ask what the cultural background of the man (and, indeed, the wives) is.

I wondered about this. I couldn't really understand why anyone would need to hide their sexuality so thoroughly and destructively as this in today's world. I wondered what the OP's husband's childhood was like - did he have a vehemently homophobic father for example? Culture could explain it too, I guess.

Gigglepig

OP have you spoken to his ex wives to get their accounts of why the marriage ended?

lostinrates

securityguy wrote: »

Next time we have evangelical Christians complaining about pre-marital sex, this case could perhaps act as an example of where a bit more pre-marital sex (or, perhaps, attempted pre-marital sex) would have saved an awful lot of heartache.

This couple did have pre marital sex, and he has had previous marriages. I don't think the pre marital sex bit is the solution to this particular issue (though I am a fan of pre marital sex).

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

This is a wind up. There's someone out there who seems to get a kick out of starting new posts about marital problems then they seem to mention gay !!!!!! they more evidence comes to light and it tuens out that the husband is full on gay.

I mean look at the facts. First it starts off with the possibility of gay !!!!!! and now we find that the OP has not had sex with her husband despite being married 3 months and the husband is arranging dates over the internet with other men. It's a wind up and it's almost exactly the same as several other posts over the last year.

Errata

The solution to a situation like this is to actually get to know the person you marry before you marry them. That takes time, not a few months or a year or so.

Dimey

Errata wrote: »

The solution to a situation like this is to actually get to know the person you marry before you marry them. That takes time, not a few months or a year or so.

I was wondering how long the couple knew each other before getting married.