Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

tracytaxi

Sorry he is adamant that he wants our marriage and I am sure you will question his motives as I do ,but I know he loves me ,I see it every day ,I wish this hadn't happened but it has .and as for the comment about best friend both my ex husband were attracted to my then best friends so I won't go there .I think I am a good person ,I work hard raised my kids ,keep a clean house ,love my grandchildren ,I am loyal and faithful ,sounds like a dog lol ! I guess I am looking for the magic wand or some people who may have gone through similar not least is the emotional problems but the practical ones like joint tenancy .I feel very alone with this ,again I don't condemn anyone for their sexuality just lack of honesty .and if he knows his own feelings enough to be honest now and knows his own mind .

The_Hurricane

tracytaxi wrote: »

Sorry he is adamant that he wants our marriage and I am sure you will question his motives as I do ,but I know he loves me ,I see it every day ,I wish this hadn't happened but it has .and as for the comment about best friend both my ex husband were attracted to my then best friends so I won't go there .I think I am a good person ,I work hard raised my kids ,keep a clean house ,love my grandchildren ,I am loyal and faithful ,sounds like a dog lol ! I guess I am looking for the magic wand or some people who may have gone through similar not least is the emotional problems but the practical ones like joint tenancy .I feel very alone with this ,again I don't condemn anyone for their sexuality just lack of honesty .and if he knows his own feelings enough to be honest now and knows his own mind .

Are you standing by your man and if so is he allowed boyfriends?

tracytaxi

I realise shortly a decision will have to be made ,I don't want to share any part of my hubby,either through meetings or chat rooms .if we could resolve our sex life and he sometimes looked at !!!!!! it might be ok,as long as he didn't hide it .Or the marriage ends and we are just friends ,I don't know because he is like he is and makes excuses to himself about his own feelings it makes it harder. I think Judi hit the nail on the head thank you

fluffnutter

lostinrates wrote: »

Many bi sexual people have monotonous relationships and are happy and committed. Some aren't 'openly' bi sexual, or just feel in love with the partner they married/partnered. Some never act on their bisexuality ever . It's not too much to only be attracted to straight people, its fine, its a sexual preference like all others, but its likely that a 'straight acting bisexual person' just appears 'straight'.

He's not bisexual though. He's gay and his inability to face this has already destroyed three marriages.

Pechow

If I were in your position, I think the main things I'd be asking are:

-Is he willing to work out the bedroom troubles? That means going to therapy/whatever if it's psychological, medical professionals if it's physiological, or ideally a combination of both. Is he willing to openly talk about his problems here, with them and with you?
-Does he understand and accept that sleeping with people other than you is not an option?
-Does he accept that while !!!!!! may be okay (if it's not at the expense of doing things with you), chat rooms are not, and does he understand why this is?

If the answer to any of these things is no, as hard as it is, I'd be walking away.

tracytaxi

No no to boyfriends, standing by ? Haven't a clue would truth be told like to run away on my own ! Head ache !I have been focussing on the emotional but the practical of a joint private tenancy is raising its head !grr hate this life so bloody unfair

aileth

tracytaxi wrote: »

No no to boyfriends, standing by ? Haven't a clue would truth be told like to run away on my own ! Head ache !I have been focussing on the emotional but the practical of a joint private tenancy is raising its head !grr hate this life so bloody unfair

Life isn't so bloody unfair, but your husband is. I totally agree with Fluffnutter to be honest. It all seems a rather huge coincidence, especially coinciding with the dead sex life.

FatVonD

tracytaxi wrote: »

Husband seems at ease with the revelation of his sexuality now ,his biggest concern is the survival of our marriage ,he does not want to cheat but does want the !!!!!! and. Chat rooms but doesn't want to upset me he feels the need for that and doesnt want to do it behind my back ,the erectile problem he explains is he feels more and feels more manly in the other posistion ,always has done but I have objected to it in that style since we married as I like to kiss him too and see him !

He is gay and he likes it in that position because he DOESN'T have to see you because you are the wrong sex and if he can't see you he can fantasise that you are a man. The exact same thing happened to somebody I worked with many years ago.

I think you should take the chance of the annulment while you can.

Pechow

aileth wrote: »

And regarding the other marriage break-ups, "They all cheated on me." Would be nice if you knew any of them or how to contact them and get the true picture

tracytaxi wrote: »

oh and I have spoken to two of the ex wives and he is telling the truth ,he also has scares still where wife two made cigarettes out on him ,I guess he told me the truth and came out as he knew I wouldn't hit him .

She has spoken to two of the exes.

System

Surely he's married you for a marriage of convienience? If he is are you happy with that? I know I wouldn't be.

Are you happy going without sex because he wont give it to you? You go into a marriage thinking it will last a lifetime? Do you really want to be celibate for the rest of your life?