Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

tracytaxi

Also someone asked our backgrounds or origins ,well I am white English brought up on Devon to two parents hubby born in devon again white and English ,brought up in Wales ( no sheep jokes!) Again to two parents as conventional as it gets .wasn't looking to re marry but felt I had everything i ever wanted and believe me sexual relations between husband and wife are not everything ,love ,respect for each other ,friendship sharing ,honesty far more important

paulineb_2

tracytaxi wrote: »

Hi I have children ,but not of this marriage ,what has upset me ? Just before we married I asked if there were any skeletons ? And he said no ,we had already been through
Hell for months before the wedding , with court cases and debt etc.He when he first told me said it was just !!!!!! and now he is growing more interested in taking it further ,he can't help his sexual preferences ,I know that,he said he loves me but needs to understand who he is and now its in the open he feels a sense of anticipation ,he certainly wants a gay sex side of things on a regular basis even if it were just chatting online , but then the issue is whether he could consummate and be interested in me ,as he finds it difficult to maintain ,sorry this is emabarrising

Well hes got it off his chest about who he is and now hes growing more interested in taking it further.

If he does, your marriage is over, unless you are very tolerant.

He wants to explore his gay side, even if its just chatting to someone online.

But you haven't consummated the marriage, because he is having problems getting aroused?

I appreciate people can be bisexual and that some open and unconventional marriages work, but who do they work for?

The person getting all of their needs met or the person who isn't getting their needs met?

I cant see how you can work this out at all if he wants to start having sexy chat with men online.

Hes married to you, he promised to be faithful to you, but hes going to explore his gay side, but as long as he doesn't sleep with anyone he thinks this is ok?

Im not sure Id find it ok.

In fact I know I wouldn't, Id be off like a shot.

aileth

There is a canyon between watching gay !!!!!! and being bisexual and wanting to have gay sex outside of a marriage and/or chatting to men in sex chatrooms. Sex chatrooms imo are totally different to porno as there is a personal connection.

Let's put it into context. If he told you he wanted to have sex with another woman outside of your marriage and/or use sex chatrooms to have cyber sex with other women, would you want to remain married to him? I certainly wouldn't.

Just because it's a man not a woman and he wants to 'explore' that side of himself does NOT make it any more appropriate or acceptable.

Edit: If I had this convo with my husband, "He has to work out where he is at in his head of that involves infidelity then the marriage will be over", I would end it before he had worked it out. If he has to take time to make a decision about whether his marriage comes above having casual sex with others, I'd be doing a runner.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

There must be more to this. How old are you both? What do you do for a living. Flesh the story out a bit.

System

For me i'm not sure what would be more the issue.

a. a sexless marriage
b. the fact you cant give him what he needs
c. will he be tempted to take it further than 'looking' and 'chatting'.

The_Hurricane

herand wrote: »

Anyone else think this thread is just a wind up? Unless the OP really has only known her husband for their three months of marriage it just seems unbelievable to be so ignorant of your partner like this.

It's a wind up?

Prothet_of_Doom

I'm going for the curved ball here now, because I know what my wife would do.

Imagine if a husband came home and said, "I don't really fancy sex with you, but I like you alot, and don't want to upset you. But actually I fancy your best friend, but I'm not going to do anything about it, as that might upset you and I want to be faithful."

You'd pretty much walk him to the door, and change the locks as he left.

tracytaxi

I am sorry look at my profile I have been registered since 2008 it is not a windup so pray tell why you think its a windup because I am gullible stupid ,fat and pathetic and too kind for my own good or because you said so ? !we are 43 (me) and 42 him I am working self employed about 45 hours a week and I am also his carer he cannot walk far my husband is not quick on the uptake so when I said he wants to talk in chat rooms at this stage is a forum based on for bisexual guys who have just come out and married .I don't want him to say he wants the marriage to work and we try and five years down the line I catch him out again ,that's why I want him to be honest ,what he wants ,I might not agree with what he wants but until then I dontnknow ,he isnadamant .

eschaton

The conclusion is pretty simple.

You know the facts, you know what he wants to do - do you accept that?

If you do, you are a mug but carry on, your choice. If you don't, send him off to search for number 5 and tell him just to fire in straight for the men this time.

Can you see yourself lying in bed wide awake whilst he is in the next room talking to some guy online giving himself a !!!! and thinking this is ok, it's what I want?

The_Hurricane

If you're genuine I feel your pain, however to be brutally honest it seems like he married you to be his carer; problems in the bedroom arose so he had to come clean especially after you caught him out. You have three options:

1. Turn a blind eye to his activities and accept he may want to play away from home.

2. Settle for a sexless, loveless relationship that may bring some form of company to you.

3. End the relationship.