Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

shop-to-drop

Do yourself a favour OP get this marriage annulled and move on however painful it is. Save yourself and your children even more pain and distress that will inevitably follow if you carry on with this sham marriage.

lostinrates

fluffnutter wrote: »

Um, my husband's heterosexuality is an absolute requisite for our being married. Are you really suggesting that it's a bit too much to ask that your partner's straight? It's also madness to think that it's OK to not consummate a marriage unless for some reason you've both decided to have a sexless relationship.

Many bi sexual people have monotonous relationships and are happy and committed. Some aren't 'openly' bi sexual, or just feel in love with the partner they married/partnered. Some never act on their bisexuality ever . It's not too much to only be attracted to straight people, its fine, its a sexual preference like all others, but its likely that a 'straight acting bisexual person' just appears 'straight'.

It's also understandable to me ( as some one with chronic ill health, and away from the sexuality issue) that there are times when for longish periods of time libido just is not there. I had a drug change five weeks ago and have been having to work hard to remain interested but have been working hard because my sex life is very important to me. If I were a less sexual person or a man I can imagine some practical difficulties with the 'just keep trying' approach. There have been periods of time when we have been trying different medications when its completely not been an option for me. Quite often ip have chosen to come off medication on the basis soley of the impact on my sex life not my health, and I totally appreciate other people would opt the other way, and depending on the health issue I find it hard to blame people for making that choice.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

'Monotonous relationships'. Genius!

lostinrates

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

'Monotonous relationships'. Genius!

Oops!

I meant monogamous of course!

tiger_eyes

lostinrates wrote: »

Oops!

I meant monogamous of course!

:rotfl: Sorry, straight people. We don't think dating you is monotonous!

lostinrates

tiger_eyes wrote: »

:rotfl: Sorry, straight people. We don't think dating you is monotonous!

Or that monogamy is monotonous.

It was an autocorrect from my own typo ridden typing, honest
Y, not a Freudian slip.

Pechow

lostinrates wrote: »

It's also understandable to me ( as some one with chronic ill health, and away from the sexuality issue) that there are times when for longish periods of time libido just is not there. I had a drug change five weeks ago and have been having to work hard to remain interested but have been working hard because my sex life is very important to me. If I were a less sexual person or a man I can imagine some practical difficulties with the 'just keep trying' approach. There have been periods of time when we have been trying different medications when its completely not been an option for me. Quite often ip have chosen to come off medication on the basis soley of the impact on my sex life not my health, and I totally appreciate other people would opt the other way, and depending on the health issue I find it hard to blame people for making that choice.

Also, to play devil's advocate a bit here, from what OP wrote about one of the other wives abusing him for "being small", and how he prefers doggy style as it makes him feel "more manly" and "feel more", it sounds like he has a small penis? That probably wouldn't help things either, if he's insecure about it.

paddy's_mum

OP - having been somewhat 'knocked about' through your life so far, you must be aware that without trust you have nothing and nothing worth having.

I'm sorry for your trouble and wish you well.

eschaton

herand wrote: »

Anyone else think this thread is just a wind up? Unless the OP really has only known her husband for their three months of marriage it just seems unbelievable to be so ignorant of your partner like this.

Either a wind up or she is being taken for a ride - or not depending on what way you look at it

tracytaxi

I am horrified you think this is windup ,this is a painful time for me ,I knew husband twelve months prior to marriage and we did make love not without difficulty he has vascular disease and heart problems .Yes he did have a homophobic father who drummed into them it was wrong .In all other ways he is a great husband always cuddling me .he is also waiting for confirmation he has aspergers.If you take the trouble to look u will see I have been a member since 2008 and had various other posts ,maybe I am ignorant but don't accuse me of winding people up .The chat rooms were his idea to discuss these feelings with men in a similar boat to see if it helps .He doesn't know what to do with his feelings now he has admitted them ,but he says he loves me and wants the marriage I don't know if its possible I cannot share him should he decide to take it further I have no problem with him being born bisexual just not telling me before we are married .He has to work out where he is at in his head of that involves infidelity then the marriage will be over .Trust in a marriage is important .oh and I have spoken to two of the ex wives and he is telling the truth ,he also has scares still where wife two made cigarettes out on him ,I guess he told me the truth and came out as he knew I wouldn't hit him .I came on here to be fairly anonomous with people to discuss his revelation and try to see if others had been in same boat .My main issue is he didn't tell me earlier the problem in the bedroom ,I have just been go and told him and he thinks it's physiological , it is a hard place to be now ,for both of us .