Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

scarlet55

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

I don't believe a word of all this rubbish about not being able to admit to himself about his interest in other men for all of his adult life. That's a complete crock of !!!!!!! He's been interested in them all through his three marriages. I doubt he's even bisexual, I suspect he's just too deceitful to come out and admit to you that he's a gay man. The reason he's not able to have sex with you in the missionary position is so he can fantasise about doing it to another man much more easily. Being able to see your face during sex would just be a deflating distraction. "More manly" is about right. In his case there aren't enough of them in your bedroom and never will be.

Even in disclosing "the truth" to you he's been a downright liar.

I was just about to say the same thing but was unsure how to put it without upsetting the OP
I think you've hit the nail on the head where the sexual position is concerned..

tracytaxi

I have to say that truly with his ex wives talking to friends of both of them apart from being a bit "slow" he really was quite innocent in the breakups ,my husband and I are still dealing with the fall out from number three where she took credit and speeding fines in husbands name we were in court a week before the wedding re the speeding and we won ,police after her for perjury also I saw the emails she sent him admitting she never loved him and admitting aldultery and only wanted his money .but now all he has is 6k of debt .

lostinrates

fluffnutter wrote: »

He's not bisexual though. He's gay and his inability to face this has already destroyed three marriages.

I don't know how anybody but him can know this.

aileth

Pechow wrote: »

She has spoken to two of the exes.

Ah sorry I missed this! Well that makes everything rather interesting to be honest...

RAS

tracytaxi wrote: »

it also explains why I think we have some bedroom issues .............,

he hasn't got anywhere to go if we split

and due to illness doesn't work ,and he's got no one else

I am going to be brutal here.

1. You need to know whether the fact that the relationship was consumated prior to marriage affects whether you can annul this marriage or not.

2. I believe that annulment has to be within 1 year of marriage.

3. You have been together 15 months including 3 married. You appear to be the "asset rich" partner whether you own or rent a property. If you own the property or savings and the relationship ends in divorce in a couple of years (or even potentially a little over a year after marriage) your husband will be entitled to take assets from the marriage (the starting point is 50:50). Only in the case of a short marriage (relationship less than 2 years in total) is this ignored. Can you afford to take that hit?

4. I am not suggesting that you ditch him immediately, but I am suggesting that you do not prevaricate. You need to make a decision one way or the other in the next 6 months.

Personally, I could be quite OK without stick in hole activities but unless the other party really fancied me and demonstrate it, it would be a no-no.

I am also concerned about the lack of disclosure prior to marriage and that he has responded to discovery rather than taken the initiative.

tracytaxi

I also struggled to word the sexual positions to keep this forum polite ,he does try though and often suggests making love ,just tends to fail .living in a sexless marruagev? Its better than being a battered wife with sex like I once was ! Counselling for both of us I think ,trouble is the break up and fall out if it came down to it would all be on my own ,my mother even thought I shouldn't of divorced my violent ex ,and because my last husband cheated it was my fault for being over weight size 20 , if this marriage ended it would cause her embarrisment as people gave us wedding presents in April ! So I would have to handle it all with no mum and no friends as I think they will judge me plus they are all very busy .I am sad scared and hurting .I also love this kind affectionate

Bazey

Have you tried dressing up as a man for him?

Win win...

RAS

tracytaxi wrote: »

the practical of a joint private tenancy is raising its head !grr hate this life so bloody unfair

OK SO when does the fixed term end?

Pechow

tracytaxi wrote: »

I also struggled to word the sexual positions to keep this forum polite ,he does try though and often suggests making love ,just tends to fail .living in a sexless marruagev? Its better than being a battered wife with sex like I once was ! Counselling for both of us I think ,trouble is the break up and fall out if it came down to it would all be on my own ,my mother even thought I shouldn't of divorced my violent ex ,and because my last husband cheated it was my fault for being over weight size 20 , if this marriage ended it would cause her embarrisment as people gave us wedding presents in April ! So I would have to handle it all with no mum and no friends as I think they will judge me plus they are all very busy .I am sad scared and hurting .I also love this kind affectionate

When he fails, does he try to do other things for you that don't involve his penis? Oral, toys, whatever... or is it doggy style or nothing? (Edit: You don't necessarily need to answer that here, or answer in specifics, just something to consider)

Above all, you need to make sure that whatever you do is done because YOU want it, not because you think that's what others want, or you're worried about what others will think. That's no reason to stay unhappy when you could be out there having another chance (and you will be able to find another kind, affectionate bloke, don't think this one is your only option) or just enjoying your freedom.

If he agrees to work on things, then perhaps it would be good for you to set deadlines for yourself-like if he hasn't seen anyone (doctor or therapist, say) in a few weeks, that's it. If he refuses in the first place, it's over. If he does go, then if things don't improve in three/six months, you tried and it's over. Something like that. Then stick to it.

lostinrates

tracytaxi wrote: »

I also struggled to word the sexual positions to keep this forum polite ,he does try though and often suggests making love ,just tends to fail .living in a sexless marruagev? Its better than being a battered wife with sex like I once was ! Counselling for both of us I think ,trouble is the break up and fall out if it came down to it would all be on my own ,my mother even thought I shouldn't of divorced my violent ex ,and because my last husband cheated it was my fault for being over weight size 20 , if this marriage ended it would cause her embarrisment as people gave us wedding presents in April ! So I would have to handle it all with no mum and no friends as I think they will judge me plus they are all very busy .I am sad scared and hurting .I also love this kind affectionate

None of this is reason to stay,


The reason to stay is if you both love each other and are committed to make ping the marriage work. Nothing less. If its less then 'doesn't mind that you are plump' or 'doesn't hit you' or 'mum won't be cross' really aren't enough. You 'll still feel 'less'.

Fwiw, no one deserves to be hit, overweight people can still have great sex lives and be loved and cherished. And other people, friends, relatives etc should have no bearing on whether a relationship continues or not really.