Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

geoffky

Tracey.....It is smell the coffee time....

BitterAndTwisted

I suspect not either of those: that this particular avowed bisexual man is actually a100% gay one. Who knows what the men he may be chatting to are? Who cares, really?

tracytaxi

Thank you everyone who has replied

gingin_2

geoffky wrote: »

Tracey.....It is smell the coffee time....

Agree. This is really not right - you do deserve better. It sounds like he's emotionally manipulating you to me, at best he's extremely selfish.

Errata

tracytaxi wrote: »

,he also said he wouldn't chat to other men without showing ansnsharing the conversation .

I hope you have a very strong stomach, some of the chat can be extremely explicit.

MakeupAddict_2

It seems that now that you know,the lid has come off Pandora's box, and he's running amok.

tracytaxi wrote: »

Husband has said this afternoon he wouldn't meet anyone unless I was OK with it ,if I wasn't OK he wouldn't

At the start of this thread he was saying he didn't want to actually meet anyone, and already he's at least implying that he does want to meet - whatever he says about 'if you're OK with it'. So what happens?

He wants to, you say you're not OK about it so he doesn't, and eventually he comes to resent/hate you for it?

He wants to, you say you're OK even though you're not, and you come to resent/hate him?

He wants to, you say you're OK even though you're not because you're so afraid of losing him, and you die a little inside?

None of them are good outcomes. You sound really down about yourself, and you seem to have little to no self esteem. You are there for other people, but who is there for you? To support you, to make you feel valued and (L'Oreal moment coming up.....) worth it?

Try to find a way believe in yourself. Believe that you ARE worth it. Never mind him being honest with you, be honest with yourself, and ask if you really want to be with him, or if it's rather that you feel being with him is better than being with no-one. Or if you feel that whatever he's done or thought or is, you don't deserve better.

What you've got isn't what you thought you were getting when you married him. If you really want him, there is some soul searching and difficult decisions ahead. You'll need to do a lot of honest talking. A relationship has two sides, and you are entitled to have your needs met. In thinking about him, don't forget yourself.

MuAx

tracytaxi

Hi make up addict ,thank you lovely post ,yes you noticed how he is changed in the goalposts ,I knew that would happen as he is confused .I was prepared not to date again and just have meals and coffees with friends when I met my husband ,and he swept me off my feet ,loving and attentive ,kind etc ,if he wasn't I would rather be alone ,which is why this is hard ,I have emailed him a whole load of things and I await a replynfigured he would have to put thought into it thank you all

tracytaxi

After ten to nine tonight I am having a break from here until tomorrow afternoon so sorry if i don't reply ,just want to read my email ,and gather my thoughts and process the advice. Thanks

eschaton

From what I can see OP - you are really wanting everyone to tell you that this is all ok and there is nothing to worry about.

But the fact is that the majority are saying the opposite and you are struggling to take any of the advice on board as the answers aren't the ones that you want to hear.

I'm sure you wouldn't accept him chatting up other women online so why is it ok for him to do it with men?

Don't go along with this just because it may be best financially unless you want to live a life of misery.

Fosterdog

Please don't let him convince you that you are OK with him chatting to other men. He is being incredibly selfish and sounds like he want to meet men, have his fun and flings then come home to a trusty wife to keep up appearances for other people.

I am bi, I haven't come out to my parents but my friends know and so do my extended family. I've been honest with OH from the start of our relationship, to me I don't care whether the person I'm with is a man or a woman. I have had previous relationships with both.

I am completely happy with OH, I don't think about cheating on him with a woman the same as I don't think about cheating on him with a man, he is the person I've chosen to be with and that's that, I didn't fall in love with him just because he's a man I fell in love with him as a person and that hasn't changed.

I do look at other women and men, the same as most people do if they see someone they find attractive, OH looks at other women too. Neither of us would ever act upon this though.

There are aspect of my relationships with women that I miss that are just not the same with a man, and when I was with a woman there were aspect I missed from a male/female relationship. I would never expect OH to be ok with me running off for my "fix" with a woman the same as he wouldn't be ok with me running off to another man and I wouldn't want him to go off to another woman.

What your husband is asking for is permission to cheat. It doesn't matter whether it's with a man or a woman, cheating is cheating. I understand that you wan't to support him through a difficult time but there are lines that just shouldn't be crossed and if they are you can never go back.