Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

tinkerbell28

I wouldn't say he loves her, I'd say he was blo0dy cruel actually.

He's used op as a cover. So he can finally show he is a successfully, married straight guy. Knowing op would blame herself, feel shame, reluctant to end it. She's already said as much.

So he gets to be gay under the guise of "exploring" whilst having a straight guy front.

All of the previous wives/break ups their fault? Yeah he would say that.

If he LOVED op, he'd have told her, before getting serious, before the proposal, before the wedding deposits, before the planning, before the final payment, befor the ceremony.

Why wait until now? For his benefit.

fawd1

Pee wrote: »

I'm almost 100% sure that you can't get a marriage annulled because your husband is bisexual. You could of course get a divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour (I don't think on the grounds of adultery) if he acted upon it, or possibly if he found the !!!!!! unreasonable behaviour.

I'm pretty sure you could on the basis of fraud. I'm not saying that I agree by the way, but It could be argued that she was tricked into the marriage because he didn't tell her he was bisexual.

No-one shoot me down please, I don't suggest you leave him, in fact I think it must have been very difficult for him to tell you. At the end of the day, like others have said, I think he needs to figure out whether having opened up about his bisexuality means that he would like to explore that further, or whether his commitment to you is more important. You need to figure out what you can and can't live with, but rest assured that just because the spectrum of people that he is attracted to is wider that doesn't make him more likely to cheat.

tracytaxi

Hi I don't know if I was conned into marriage and would of preferred to discuss all this before the wedding , I will never known sure but I guess he must of felt I was different to others and told me ,in fairness we do tell each other a lot always have, I thank you all and I presume we will have to sort this out somehow but right now I just feel exhausted and will have to step back for a while as my head is messed up

tracytaxi

Oh and I personally will never want a casual partner it leaves me cold

kitrat

tracytaxi wrote: »

He is mild,cuddly and soppy but living with this secret since he was 17 ,he has been married three times before and all wives cheated on him !

No, at first I felt sorry for the guy and I still feel that I have no issue with being bi. I thought it was a big problem (due to distrust) but that you ought to try and make it work. But after reading your last couple of posts (from the one I've quoted, have not read on yet) you really deserve better. Do yourself a favour and move on from this one. I understand he may want to experience this other side of himself, but you shouldn't have to make a compromise because of this. It sounds like he's had all the opportunities to have these experiences (though I understand due to social stigma he may have avoided this).

I do feel a bit sorry for him, but he is still at fault here, it's not your responsibilities to make the sacrifices to your happiness here. I'm not really sure that this marriage can work long-term, he's always going to be wondering.

kitrat

tracytaxi wrote: »

Hi pmlindyloo, no offence taken ,after 14 years of an ex husband who never really loves me and cheated and never showed his feelings and a other ex husband he beat me and cheated and went with ladies if the night ,when I met my hubby at first I told him to go away ,all my barriers were up ,but patiently he was there saying and doing the right thing ,I never saw this coming I thought I had my soul mate ,,no wouldn't stay in myarriage for others ,but I will be quite alone to deal with the impact ,as I am only child and it will be hard ,I could do it but it seems so bloody cruel and unfair that husband feels like this but is wonderful otherwise ,apart from the sexual side but it could be in part his illness and to be honest my ex never wanted me so used to it lol

-delete- sorry stupid comment - this is what I want to say: Do what is right for YOU and you only, not him or your mum. Whatever you do don't stay in this marriage if he's going to be seeing guys either online or in real life, or if you suspect he might end up cheating on you.

tracytaxi

Intrigued what was a stupid comment lol

Errata

Must have been a surprise, but I can't help wondering why it's taken him four marriages to discover he's bisexual. As for what he tells you about the behaviour of his previous wives, that's his story, and theirs may be entirely different.
You can't trust him not to explore his sexuality, and as someone said, a relationship without trust is like a car without petrol, you can stick with it for as long as you like but it won't go anywhere.

kitrat

tracytaxi wrote: »

Intrigued what was a stupid comment lol

Well I was seeing his nice side.. But I don't want you getting ****ed over because sometimes he's nice. Everyone's nice sometimes. Doesn't make it acceptable to cheat just because he's bisexual. There's absolutely nothing wrong with his sexuality, it's sad he didn't explore it sooner. But that doesn't mean he gets to cheat on you, that's his problem not yours. Look after yourself tracytaxi

tracytaxi

Husband seems at ease with the revelation of his sexuality now ,his biggest concern is the survival of our marriage ,he does not want to cheat but does want the !!!!!! and. Chat rooms but doesn't want to upset me he feels the need for that and doesnt want to do it behind my back ,the erectile problem he explains is he feels more and feels more manly in the other posistion ,always has done but I have objected to it in that style since we married as I like to kiss him too and see him !