Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

Errata

For better or for worse is all very well, but he married you under false pretences.

tracytaxi

Of that I know so wish he had told me before ,I guess he was brought up thinking of it as a major taboo and probably think I would think the same , I honestly don't know what a bloody mess off to bed

eleanora_

tracytaxi wrote: »

the vows were for better or worse

"For better or for worse" yes, but don't forget the part about "forsaking all others". A few posts ago, your husband was telling you he wanted to meet up with men for sexual encounters...

Wol2

stir_crazy wrote: »

No, you don't sound stupid, you sound like someone who has just been hit with a ton of bricks, as the saying goes. Finding out that someone has been hiding something and lying to you about it must be a massive shock, and well done OP for trying to deal with it and trying to get past it. However, I really do feel that your OH is trying to abuse your good nature and take you for a ride.

^^^^^^^
THIS -

You are NOT stupid tt....this is YOUR life and not anyone else's...and you have been hit with a ton of bricks so please take care and give yourself tome to recover.....
You will have to decide what is right FOR YOU.....regardless of what anyone else says....but in your own time....mindful of other time-related circumstances as per RAS and anulment etc.......
Stay strong....keep thinking and commenting on the thread
Hugs
xxxx

coolcait

tracytaxi wrote: »

.. trying to work out how to be excempt from court fees from annulment ,they actually want his income and bank statements as we live in same house ,what a joke !

I know it's a moneysaving website, and I think it's great that you're keeping open the option of annulling the marriage.

But, maybe this is a case where you need to spend on the court fees for annulment, in order to save yourself losing at least half of your assets if you divorce (which doesn't come free of charge either).

tracytaxi

Hi yes ,but I don't have £410 pound , my income is 58 per week Carers allowance and about 40 pound from taxi driving if that ,as overheads on taxi is 430 a week before I earn a penny ! I am stopping in October when car (private hire taxi ) is paid for ,I am going back to college to do a access to social work course .to everyone that had replied and posted ,it seems so cut and dry unless you are living it with the emotions attached ,my kids are 13,17,19 but they all get on ,and my husband is my best friend , I hate he didn't tell me before the wedding ,truth be known I hate on a personal level he is bisexual ,I wish he had "experimented " with his sexuality before we got together ,but in part there i blame the homophobic nature of his dad ,with whom my husband was living when he had the chance ,husband wants to make it work ,he won't go with a man but I would be kidding myself if I said that solves anything ,as the feeling he wants to will always be there .As for sex between us if I accept the missionary position is a no no I think things could approve as expectation puts pressure to perform does not help .i don't know if I can live with husband now ,neither do I know if I can live without him ,so look further into annulment ,but basically it's day by day .

paulineb_2

If he had experimented before you got married hed still be bisexual.

tracytaxi

Yes but perhaps he would of told me then before we got married and perhaps he would of been able to be sexually commited to me as well as emotionally as he would know his preference !

paulineb_2

Or maybe he would be someone who has an equal preference for men and women, you actually dont know if he had experimented would he have got it out of his system and dare I say it, the fact that hes even suggesting sleeping with someone else, doesnt sound like hes committed to you at all.

Hes just dressing it up by saying, because he has urges to sleep with someone of the opposite sex and hes never done it, he needs to get it out of his system.

If I were in a serious relationship and I really loved someone, Id have my blinkers on and I wouldnt want to cheat with anyone else, regardless of their gender.

Dimey

tracytaxi wrote: »

Hi yes ,but I don't have £410 pound , my income is 58 per week Carers allowance and about 40 pound from taxi driving if that ,as overheads on taxi is 430 a week before I earn a penny ! I am stopping in October when car (private hire taxi ) is paid for ,I am going back to college to do a access to social work course .to everyone that had replied and posted ,it seems so cut and dry unless you are living it with the emotions attached ,my kids are 13,17,19 but they all get on ,and my husband is my best friend , I hate he didn't tell me before the wedding ,truth be known I hate on a personal level he is bisexual ,I wish he had "experimented " with his sexuality before we got together ,but in part there i blame the homophobic nature of his dad ,with whom my husband was living when he had the chance ,husband wants to make it work ,he won't go with a man but I would be kidding myself if I said that solves anything ,as the feeling he wants to will always be there .As for sex between us if I accept the missionary position is a no no I think things could approve as expectation puts pressure to perform does not help .i don't know if I can live with husband now ,neither do I know if I can live without him ,so look further into annulment ,but basically it's day by day .

In which case Coolcat's solution, post 200, is a good solution.
Ask your husband to pay for the annulment. If he doesn't have savings then ask him to get a loan for it. Not you. That's the least he can do.