Married 3 months ,husband just told me he is bisexual help!!

tracytaxi

My husband who is lovely told me after being caught looking at gay !!!!!! that he has thought he was bisexual since he was 17.but couldn't even admit it to himself.
Bomb shell ,he says he has never been with a man and he isn't attracted to men emotionally but sexually ,I just don't know what to do ,I know he loves me and wants the marriage to work .
I just don't know what to do or feel .I felt like getting marriage annulled ,but I love him wish he had told me before the wedding .I just feel lost ,I understand you are born how you are ,just wish he told me

lostinrates

tracytaxi wrote: »

My husband who is lovely told me after being caught looking at gay !!!!!! that he has thought he was bisexual since he was 17.but couldn't even admit it to himself.
Bomb shell ,he says he has never been with a man and he isn't attracted to men emotionally but sexually ,I just don't know what to do ,I know he loves me and wants the marriage to work .
I just don't know what to do or feel .I felt like getting marriage annulled ,but I love him wish he had told me before the wedding .I just feel lost ,I understand you are born how you are ,just wish he told me

I understand it must be a shock, and stressful for both of you to come to terms with this revelation.

What I would say is that bi sexuality and polyamourous do not go hand in hand. It's perfectly possible for someone to feel attracted to both sexes but remain in a monogamous relationship with one partner. Just as its possible for you to see other sexy chaps but still only really want to come home to your husband.

Don't jump to any conclusions yet, because your husband might not really know what he wants to do about this as he comes to terms with how he feels about this. He might benefit from some counselling, or you might benefit from some one to talk through the impact together.

It might change nothing longterm but the strength of your connection and the full understanding you have of each other. No one can promise you that, but no one can promise any one that.

Good luck.

tracytaxi

Hi I phoned a gay advice line and hubby has registered on a bisexual advice forum ,its hard I feel I have no right to stop my husband being himself

tracytaxi

The advice line told me to talk to my husband about what he wants ,but what about me I just want to be happy and I finally thought I had it all just seems so unfair I know husband can't help it ,but its hard as I can't tell anyone this to provide me some.support

Pechow

I'm sorry, but I don't see what the problem is? If he's not going to go off with blokes, then why does it matter? He chose to be with you, over everyone else-male or female. Are you worried he'll want to experiment with men or something? Or how other people will see you?

Edit: Clarifying, not sure how to advise you because I'm not sure what you see as the problem with him being bisexual, not that you're wrong to be shocked or anything.

Gigglepig

Nothing at all wrong with being bisexual, but for me it would be a big red flag that this seems to be an unresolved issue. for example that he might find it hard later if he did not make experiences prior to settling down. it must be disappointing that he only told you when caught out, and did not share this earlier in the relationship.

PasturesNew

All it does is double the number of people he could potentially have an affair with. Being bisexual doesn't make him a cheater, so you're where you were 3 months ago, but now he's been nice enough to share his secret with you.

Pee

If he is bisexual but commited to you and you don't have a problem with !!!!!!, then I don't see this being a very big issue although I can see why you posted as it is one hell of a shock in the circumstances and not something you might feel comfortable chatting about with your work colleagues. I would say that in the end it's about his views on marriage and yours and how compatable they are.

But I do see that it's a shock at the moment.

Pee

I'm almost 100% sure that you can't get a marriage annulled because your husband is bisexual. You could of course get a divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour (I don't think on the grounds of adultery) if he acted upon it, or possibly if he found the !!!!!! unreasonable behaviour.

lostinrates

tracytaxi wrote: »

The advice line told me to talk to my husband about what he wants ,but what about me I just want to be happy and I finally thought I had it all just seems so unfair I know husband can't help it ,but its hard as I can't tell anyone this to provide me some.support

Absolutely you need to think about you too. You DO deserve support and consideration too, you are right. Hopefully, just as you are understanding your husband is who he is your husband will understand what a shock this is to you and support you.

It's totally reasonable to get some support via an advice or support line as you have done too, focusing on you not your husband.

peachyprice

If you trust him to be faithful to you I can't see what difference it makes as to whether he's hetero or bi. He married you, he loves you, he wants to be with you.

If the only thing he wants to do is look at gay !!!!!! that makes him no different to the millions of married men who look at straight !!!!!!.