Birthday gift ideas for an 11 year old ?! Help!

tyllwyd

Troutwrestler wrote: »

I just like to see her happy

But by buying her all this stuff you are making it more difficult to treat her and make her happy - she's got everything so nothing is special. You've admitted it by starting this thread - there isn't anything anyone can suggest buying for her birthday that she hasn't already got.

Troutwrestler

cte1111 wrote: »

A bit non-plussed at this thread on a money saving website!

It's my eldest 11th birthday soon too. I've bought her some paints, other little craft bits, Sylvanian sets (her godfather will give her one of these and give me the money I expect) and a card making pack. I think these are really nice presents and she will love opening them.

She asked for a mobile phone a while ago and I said no, she had no need for one, I'll think about it when she's is going to secondary school. She's not asked again since. She certainly won't be getting the latest iPhone, she'll have an old one of mine. Anything more expensive would make her a target for theft and would be wasted on a young child.

My kids don't do without, we're pretty fortunate I think and are able to send them to lots of activities (DD is going canoeing with Guides tonight) and buy them presents that they appreciate.

I gave both my children some doll's clothes knitted by a lady that goes to my knitting group (I gave a £10 charity contribution for these, which everyone was happy with). They were delighted, played happily with them for days and proudly showed them off to my Mum when she visited the following week. I think this is how children should behave when given gifts, anything else is pretty sad.

Every child is different. My daughter doesn't play with toys anymore so although your children enjoy those things my daughter wouldn't.

My daughter goes to guides too and enjoys all those activites.
Her behaviour may seem ungrateful but it's what she has come to expect. And so I am to blame for that.

Troutwrestler

tyllwyd wrote: »

But by buying her all this stuff you are making it more difficult to treat her and make her happy - she's got everything so nothing is special. You've admitted it by starting this thread - there isn't anything anyone can suggest buying for her birthday that she hasn't already got.

There have already been a few suggestions hat I hadn't thought of. So although I got the opinions on my parenting I was expecting...the thread has helped me

victory

Troutwrestler wrote: »

Completely agree(apart from the weak bit).

I have on occasions well and truly put my foot down..it has shocked her but I can do it.

I just like to see her happy

I want my boys to be happy and I love them to bits but giving in over and over again makes you a push over,loose respect for you, them non appreciative and they loose the value of everything...

My eldest his big birthday my oh my what he expected, requested, demanded, was completely unreasonable about makes me shudder and for all his temper tantrums, stroppiness, what did he get? Nothing, children deserve nothing, if they get something they are lucky, it's a joy, a luxury, should appreciate them,they should never demand, expect or feel they are somehow entitled to.

My boy pulled the 'everyone has got it' over and over and I would never ever put myself in debt for a whim, for him to be 'like the others' to 'be in with them all mu' nope not a chance.

MY OH says a gift is not a right, it's a lovely surprise, a pleasure if it's given but not a right.


For an 11 birthday.... party in the park, a picnic, a home made cake and loads of running around perfect.

A sleep over with snacks, a DVD and lots of laughter and fun, perfect.

cte1111

Troutwrestler wrote: »

Every child is different. My daughter doesn't play with toys anymore so although your children enjoy those things my daughter wouldn't.

My daughter goes to guides too and enjoys all those activites.
Her behaviour may seem ungrateful but it's what she has come to expect. And so I am to blame for that.

I understand that all children are different, I came onto this thread to add a few suggestions, as our children are similar ages. Not sure that paint and craft items are automatically dismissable as toys, but maybe your daughter isn't creative so wouldn't find these fun.

I did have to go back to the first post to double check your daughter's age when you said she had hair extensions. In a way I find this more shocking than the multiple electronics and sky package. Why would she want this and why would you allow it?

victory

Troutwrestler wrote: »

I take my children on 2/3 holidays every year, she goes on every school trip she can manage and I'm taking them to America next year, so I don't substitute material things for experiences.

You must be able to realise yourself though that is way more than most children get?

My youngest is going to a theme park next week with the school because his class has been the best behaved and that is their reward, the way he talks about it, it is like they have bought the theme park for him and he will be greeted at the door by his name and VIP'd around the park:rotfl: he is beside himself with excitement because he has worked for it and more importantly to him it is a treat for him as he does not get to go often and also his very best bit is that it's free:D

Troutwrestler

cte1111 wrote: »

I understand that all children are different, I came onto this thread to add a few suggestions, as our children are similar ages. Not sure that paint and craft items are automatically dismissable as toys, but maybe your daughter isn't creative so wouldn't find these fun.

I did have to go back to the first post to double check your daughter's age when you said she had hair extensions. In a way I find this more shocking than the multiple electronics and sky package. Why would she want this and why would you allow it?

The hair extensions are pink fake ones of which she has about 15 ...why...because she wanted pink steaks in her hair and I didn't want her bleaching her hair.
I personally don't see this as shocking. I was allowed to dye my hair from 12 and had pierced belly button at 14.. I think it's down to what you consider shocking tbh.

victory

cte1111 wrote: »

I understand that all children are different, I came onto this thread to add a few suggestions, as our children are similar ages. Not sure that paint and craft items are automatically dismissable as toys, but maybe your daughter isn't creative so wouldn't find these fun.

I did have to go back to the first post to double check your daughter's age when you said she had hair extensions. In a way I find this more shocking than the multiple electronics and sky package. Why would she want this and why would you allow it?

When I read your first post of what you had got for presents I thought how lovely, reminded me of my etch a sketch, oh I loved that, all that arts and crafts, doodling, bendable rulers, 4 coloured pens, perfect creative, imagination presents:D

Troutwrestler

victory wrote: »

You must be able to realise yourself though that is way more than most children get?

My youngest is going to a theme park next week with the school because his class has been the best behaved and that is their reward, the way he talks about it, it is like they have bought the theme park for him and he will be greeted at the door by his name and VIP'd around the park:rotfl: he is beside himself with excitement because he has worked for it and more importantly to him it is a treat for him as he does not get to go often and also his very best bit is that it's free:D

Tbh.. Most of my daughters friends have the same..if not more..so no..I don't see it as more than most get. I do however realise she is becoming ungrateful and that is something I want to stop.

neverdespairgirl

Troutwrestler wrote: »

Perhaps not, but she has to spend alot of time indoors (due to her skin condition which is also very painful at times) so I suppose I have tried to over compensate.

Certainly not done out of laziness or malice. But because she has such a hard time of it

I'm sure you aren't lazy or malicious!

I grew up in a well-off family, trout, and was lucky enough to be able to have piano, violin, swimming and tennis lessons, go on sailing trips, have opportunities to play chess nationwide, etc. But we (I'm the eldest of 4) specifically didn't have lots of "stuff" - albeit obviously, then, it wasn't ipods and ipads, it was walkmans and so forth.

My mother always said she didn't want to clutter the house up with rubbish we didn't appreciate, and that makes absolute, perfect sense to me.

My son turned 8 last month, and he has an MP3 player for audio books (he's fairly dyslexic) and a computer. He also has lots of lego, books, and a bike. We have one TV in the whole home, in the living room. One MP3 speaker - ditto.

He doesn't have any of the other electronic stuff. One of his mates has his own ipad, at school, and we discussed how it might not be a good idea because it was so expensive you'd always be worrying about dropping it, or losing it.

I understand you're trying to make up for the skin problems - but this just isn't the way to do it, for her sake as well as yours.