Birthday gift ideas for an 11 year old ?! Help!

tattycath

Troutwrestler wrote: »

I'm used to mega strops much like those :rotfl:

She throws more tantrums than my 3 year old

She only throws tantrums and strops because it has the desired effect and you give in to her demands. If you stopped giving in and stopped reacting to her strops and tantrums she would see tantrum and strops don't actually work and would desist.

tattycath

Troutwrestler wrote: »

I ebay it, or give it to charity.
She's not one or selling her gadgets bough, I suggested we sell the blackberry to put towards the iPhone... But apparently you need a back up phone..and aren't I so stupid for not knowing that: QUOTE]

Yes one of mine needed a backup phone when hers broke so she borrowed my new upgrade and I used a cheap basic thing!

Troutwrestler

balletshoes wrote: »

OP I think you,ll end up buying the iphone and everything else that you/she have suggested for her birthday, she,ll continue to strop and complain and this will never be resolved. good luck ~ i think you,re going to need it.

You may well be right I hate to think of her being disappointed on her bday. Although if I can't get a white iPhone in time the world may end. :rotfl: black iPhones are not be same it would see, .

She has a magnificent way of persuading me to buy her things for her bday..then acting surprised that those were supposed to be part of it..hair extensions and alton towers being the most recent ...

I have to learn to say no. I need to kick up the backside

kingfisherblue

Oh dear, you're bringing up a child who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing, and you only have yourself to blame. Being ill as a young child is no excuse - my son was given four hours to live at birth, and he is now 15. I know just how difficult it is when you have a sick child, as do others on this board.

You can and should say 'No' - very firmly if she throws a strop. Being a parent is a big responsibility, and you need to take that responsibility now. Stop making excuses.

I'm sorry if that sounds blunt, but you sound very weak and your daughter has you wrapped round her little finger. You are doing her no favours in life at all.

Troutwrestler

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Oh dear, you're bringing up a child who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing, and you only have yourself to blame. Being ill as a young child is no excuse - my son was given four hours to live at birth, and he is now 15. I know just how difficult it is when you have a sick child, as do others on this board.

You can and should say 'No' - very firmly if she throws a strop. Being a parent is a big responsibility, and you need to take that responsibility now. Stop making excuses.

I'm sorry if that sounds blunt, but you sound very weak and your daughter has you wrapped round her little finger. You are doing her no favours in life at all.

Completely agree(apart from the weak bit).

I have on occasions well and truly put my foot down..it has shocked her but I can do it.

I just like to see her happy

neverdespairgirl

Troutwrestler wrote: »

She reads a great deal actually. Her kindle is never put down.

Thanks for your input though

So - aged 10 - she has a kindle, ipad, blackberry, ipod, ipod dock, LCD TV, full Sky package, X-box, full riding gear, designer clothes, hair extensions, ......

OP, that's just completely and utterly insane! You aren't doing her any favours at all by showering her with pricey kit.

megela

I am absolutely astounded at the amount of material stuff your daughter has - my 10yo has a £30 nokia blackberry lookalike, and an ipod shuffle and is over the moon with them.

My eldest just turned 14 and had a pair of converse & a playsuit for her birthday. She got what she wanted and was really happy with this.

We are able to afford far more than this if we wanted to, but I want my children know the value of money, something your daughter never will while you are spoiling her like this.

We do enjoy a lot of days out and holidays together as a family. They know other kids who have it all but haven't been to the places they have. The girls will tell you they prefer this to having lots of 'stuff'.

Troutwrestler

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

So - aged 10 - she has a kindle, ipad, blackberry, ipod, ipod dock, LCD TV, full Sky package, X-box, full riding gear......

OP, that's just completely and utterly insane! You aren't doing her any favours at all by showering her with pricey electronic kit.

Perhaps not, but she has to spend alot of time indoors (due to her skin condition which is also very painful at times) so I suppose I have tried to over compensate.

Certainly not done out of laziness or malice. But because she has such a hard time of it

Troutwrestler

megela wrote: »

I am absolutely astounded at the amount of material stuff your daughter has - my 10yo has a £30 nokia blackberry lookalike, and an ipod shuffle and is over the moon with them.

My eldest just turned 14 and had a pair of converse & a playsuit for her birthday. She got what she wanted and was really happy with this.

We are able to afford far more than this if we wanted to, but I want my children know the value of money, something your daughter never will while you are spoiling her like this.

We do enjoy a lot of days out and holidays together as a family. They know other kids who have it all but haven't been to the places they have. The girls will tell you they prefer this to having lots of 'stuff'.

I take my children on 2/3 holidays every year, she goes on every school trip she can manage and I'm taking them to America next year, so I don't substitute material things for experiences.

cte1111

A bit non-plussed at this thread on a money saving website!

It's my eldest 11th birthday soon too. I've bought her some paints, other little craft bits, Sylvanian sets (her godfather will give her one of these and give me the money I expect) and a card making pack. I think these are really nice presents and she will love opening them.

She asked for a mobile phone a while ago and I said no, she had no need for one, I'll think about it when she's is going to secondary school. She's not asked again since. She certainly won't be getting the latest iPhone, she'll have an old one of mine. Anything more expensive would make her a target for theft and would be wasted on a young child.

My kids don't do without, we're pretty fortunate I think and are able to send them to lots of activities (DD is going canoeing with Guides tonight) and buy them presents that they appreciate.

I gave both my children some doll's clothes knitted by a lady that goes to my knitting group (I gave a £10 charity contribution for these, which everyone was happy with). They were delighted, played happily with them for days and proudly showed them off to my Mum when she visited the following week. I think this is how children should behave when given gifts, anything else is pretty sad.