Birthday gift ideas for an 11 year old ?! Help!

Lunar_Eclipse

I would be tempted to buy her nothing. It sounds like you've already bought her present (Alton Towers trip?) and I wouldn't pander to her unreasonable attitude. It's quite unusual for 11 year olds to seriously ask for a horse or TV, A-list celebrities aside maybe. When she asked for an iPhone, I would simply reply with a 'ha ha, you only just got a Blackberry.' Children look to parents for boundaries here. If you give her the impression that's a reasonable request, financially or otherwise, then naturally most people won't say 'only kidding just buy me a magazine' for instance.

We are an affluent family by national standards (private school), but the gifts and lifestyle you describe are quite alien to me.

My 11 year old received an iPod for her birthday last year. We suggested the grandparents chipped in with us, purely so she wasn't too spoilt and receive too many gifts. I have seen first hand that 'less is more' with kids (& adults.) A few token gifts including favourite sweets and a couple of cans of 7Up saw her delighted. We then throw a party for her friends but don't generally add expensive days or meals out as part of the birthday celebrations either. We do these every now and again or as part of school holidays.

If you do want to buy a gift, how about a netball/basketball hoop or other outdoor toy for the garden OR modest Hollister gift voucher. Both mine would love these!

Your daughter might kick up a fuss if you start saying 'no', but she might also be a little bit relieved that she's found a 'boundary'. Regardless, it is in her best interests for you to do so.

peachyprice

Troutwrestler wrote: »

I don't live in my owned house, it's being renovated for my disability and unliveable at the moment... So we rent privately at the min. That ok for you vroombroom. I do hope it doesnt disappoint you

You get housing benefit even though you own your own property outright? I don't think so.

Amanda65

Troutwrestler wrote: »

Your opinion. Your entitled to it.

I have agreed in this thread she gets too much.

I won't however be made to feel bad for being disabled or having a disabled child. Because some on here don't earn enough and feel inadequate.

I dare say if I were to spend my time trawling through posts I could find things to pull some of the posters on here up on.

But I'm too busy getting ready to go out to have dinner...before anyone says it..yes I'm most grateful to the tax payer for feeding us all a lovely steak dinner tonight

No-one has made any comment about yours or your daughter's disability but you. As far as the taxpayer buying you a steak dinner tonight - well that's up to you how you spend the money you are able to receive in dla/tax credits/ child maintenance etc. But if I'm honest I am really struggling to work out what you wanted to gain from this thread, other than to boast about all the wonderful things your daughter receives from you, her doting mother, and how you stick two fingers up at the taxpayer for providing you with this marvellous life.

If you are not a troll I really pity you.

Money_maker

Troutwrestler wrote: »

I have been told for years to reign her in...but I just find it impossible to say no. I really must try harder though.

Who told you this, OP?

Family, friends?

maman

Amanda65 wrote: »

Gosh this thread has really moved on since my comments this morning!

Toto wrote: »

I am absolutely sure that this thread is a complete wind up.

This morning you posted and, as many people do on here, you got some genuine advice in good faith. In return, it seems that throughout the day you have spent your time dropping in one outrageous bit of nonsense after another to get a reaction.

I really hope that you are just some sort of sad, attention-seeking fantasist. The alternative that I'm paying for you to live it up and ruin your poor daughter is unthinkable.

loulou123

OP Im not judging where your money comes from.

My hubby was brought up getting everything he wanted from his parents, in a material sense. They never said no to him. By the time he was a teenager he was in trouble with the police, constantly suspended from school (as he had a real problem with authority as wasn't used to being told no.)

His parents were trying to compensate for their messy divorce by getting him whatever he wanted. As a young adult he had a completely irresponsible attitude to money - he ran up thousands of pounds of debt on credit cards and even now he can't budget to save his life - although he has paid off all the debt.

I on the other hand lived in a very poor family, didn't have the majority of the material things he took for granted but you know what I remember my childhood as nothing but happy. He on the other hand if asked will say he was not a happy child at all as had no barriers, and felt that although he had everything he still wasn't happy.