Birthday gift ideas for an 11 year old ?! Help!

DomRavioli

Its just bad parenting. Simple as that; it is the OP's fault her child knows no boundaries, because they didn't give them any.

I feel sorry for your child, having their mind messed with in ways that only a parent can screw up - will you deal with the severe emotional fallout when she is a teenager or older and ends up mentally ill because of what you did to her as a child?

I know first hand how this turns out, because it is the way I turned out. Don't make the same mistakes my parents did because your child was sick when she was younger.

Troutwrestler

vroombroom wrote: »

urgh, this thread just gets better. We both work and cannot afford an Iphone or Blackberry. Pathetic.

Yes being disabled with a disabled child...how pathetic.

If you want to take my child's disability for an iPhone I will happily give you both.

Pathetic

kingfisherblue

If you are on benefits, then you should definitely consider cutting down on the stuff that you buy for your daughter. Benefits are not guaranteed income.

I am in a similar position to you, on benefits and with a disabled child. I have only gone from the information on this thread, I haven't looked at other threads. You also say that you get DLA, but presumably you are aware that there is going to be a transfer to PIP for adults of working age over the next few years, and that the criteria is different? What will happen if you don't get PIP when your claim comes up for renewal? Or if your daughter's DLA is not renewed? Or if either come back at a lower rate?

I am on income support, CTC, etc, and although my son receives DLA at high rate for both care and mobility, I couldn't afford anywhere near the stuff you buy your daughter. My son's mobility pays for a car through Motability and the care component pays for the extra petrol needed, extra electricity and gas (needing heating through the night during the colder weather, due to his breathing problems, and additional washing and drying because of incontinence and vomiting - including having to use the dryer during wet weather as he has breathing difficulties when damp washing is hung inside), extra books as he loves reading, expensive boots that fit the criteria for his walking needs, etc.

Amanda65

Gosh this thread has really moved on since my comments this morning!

OP I suggested riding bits and you say you bought them a few weeks ago - I just wondered why you wouldn't have saved them for her birthday, which I what I would have done.

This comment is 'tongue in cheek' but perhaps a copy of the Gene Wilder version of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory might make a nice present -the way you describe your DD makes her sound rather like Veruca Salt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRTkCHE1sS4

vroombroom

Troutwrestler wrote: »

Yes being disabled with a disabled child...how pathetic.

If you want to take my child's disability for an iPhone I will happily give you both.

Pathetic

oh grow up love. If you want to play it like that we can do. You can go to Alton Towers eh?

neverdespairgirl

victory wrote: »

Every child has more than yours, every child tells their parents that, I have had years of it

Don't you remember doing it?

"X's Mum lets her stay out until 10pm on a school night...... Muuuuuum. It's not fair".

And then, fairly quickly, you learned that the only reply you'd get was, "I'm not X's Mum. And you aren't doing it".

Troutwrestler

vroombroom wrote: »

oh grow up love. If you want to play it like that we can do. You can go to Alton Towers eh?

Yes, I can. I don't go on any rides though.

Green isn't your colour. Seriously. Jealous of a disabled child. Wow

OrkneyStar

I have just read the whole thread.
OP, honestly, I don't really care where your money comes from in the grand scheme of things (if you/the child qualify for the money then fair enough, it's not up to me to say if it's too much or not, though I will say you seem to have a lot of disposable cash!).
I also understand your child has been/still is ill and you feel that you want to somehow 'make up' for that. Honestly though, encouraging her to value herself based on what she has is not the way forward. Treating her, every now and then, is lovely and great if you can afford it, but letting her think that this is the 'norm' is not the way to go. A birthday is a special day of course and extra treats are lovely for you both. Ultimately though, as a parent, your main job is to help her grow and develop as a human being, so she can become an adult who is able to make decisions, fend for herself (taking any disability issues into account, of course some people need extra help), and be proud that you did your best for her.
Finally, I am not sure what help you wanted on here- ideas for more to buy, or genuine help as to how to start to rein in the spending?

neverdespairgirl

Troutwrestler wrote: »

Well so far I have booked a hotel stay for her and I. A nice meal in a restaurant she has always wanted to go to. Hopefully the zoo keeper experience, I have bought her a watch, new bag and new ugg boots. And I'm paying for her room to be redecorated and re carpeted( although I don't class that as birthday really..but it's eating into the budget). I will buy a few guides bits as fillers and open her a new bank account too.

Perhaps I will leave it at that and see how she reacts.

If there is any doubt that a newly-11 year old gets:

1. Hotel stay;

2. Restaurant;

3. Zoo Keeper experience;

4. Ugg boots;

5. redecorated pad;

6. watch;

7. guide stuff;

8. bank account;

9. new bag.

And you even think she might think she's being hard-done by, you really do have a problem.

What's bizarre, you seem to be half proud of the fact that your daughter is "feisty", meaning "ungrateful and materialistic and sexualised at a pre-teenage age".

I'm not, personally, sure of the massive value of "experience" days. I think it's more enjoyable and useful, both in the medium and long terms, to work at something, get better, and take pleasure in it, not to flit from experience to experience.

So I did a lot of sailing as a teenager - which wasn't that cheap. My sisters both had ponies and then horses - but they had to muck them out theselves, every early morning, every evening, without fail.

So we were lucky enough to have those pleasures, but also learned the pleasure of working hard to enjoy a lesiure activity.

neverdespairgirl

vroombroom wrote: »

urgh, this thread just gets better. We both work and cannot afford an Iphone or Blackberry. Pathetic.

We both work. We could afford an iphone, but see absolutely no point in it.