Anyone's hubby not like presents?

74jax

Mine just doesn't seem to like them and I love spoiling him.

It's his birthday soon and he just doesn't want anything. Every year it's pretty similar, I have lists and lists of what i'd like :rotfl:but he just doesn't want anything.

In the past I've bought racing days, weekends away, things to do together (rather than acual 'items' which he just doesn't want) but I've totally run out - even the things to do together he's not bothered about.

I speak to his friends for ideas, his hobby is quite expensive and I never want to buy something that he doesn't actually need, they suggest fab (what i think) presents, but he just isn't interested.

Do I give up? I know it's his birthday and if he doesn't want anything I can't force anything on him :rotfl:I've done silly thing like vouchers for things (maybe me at the beach watching him kitesurf etc) and these just get thrown out and seem pointless too - I even put expiry dates on in the hope that might encourage him, but they just expired (I'm laughing typing this.....).

I love surprising family and friends but this really bugs me. I can't believe i'm actually posting that my hubby doesn't want me to spend my money.

he says if there's anythign I want then buy it, but I want to spoil him.

Is anyone else in a similar boat and what did you do?

I don't want to be like my parents where they don't even achknowledge birthdays/Christmas I'd hate that.

Lagoon

It sounds like a silly things to be bothered about, but I certainly would be. I'd want to get him something to celebrate a special occasion, and might be hurt if he didn't seem to like what I got.

He must have things he does want/need, though? Things he buys himself, even if it's just clothes.

OH's birthday is always a big deal. I love to treat him, and he loves presents.

He's big on surprises, but I have got a couple wrong in the past and because he loves gifts so much I end up feeling guilty. Then, there's the issue of him going out and buying the things I've already bought him, which has happened a few times and ruins the surprise...

My latest issue is 'I'll store the gift receipt in my handbag, as it's the only place he won't stumble across it', swiftly followed by 'I took some money from your purse this morning. I hope you don't mind' leaving me having no clue if he knows what he's getting or not.

FBaby

My man is like that, but not because he doesn't want a present, but because he is extremely picky and no-one could possibly pick well for him, so he either ask to go and buy it himself to then wrap it for him, or to just give him money.

Like you, I like to surprise him but it is not easy. I have done once, something he really wanted and didn't expect at all, and I found something else for this year, but no doubt I am running out of ideas!

Meadows

Often the best gifts can be the free or low cost ones. I can understand his not being interested in commercial things just for the sake of it and as he said he gets what he wants when he wants, so why not take some of your time to cook a meal!

You can make a nice 3 or 4 course meal, try to go for quality cuts of meat / different fish, use foods you wouldn't eat normally (no the everyday foods you would normally eat).
Put together a nice menu you know you can manage, something where maybe you can prepare as much as possible in advance (so you spend more time at the table than in the kitchen), buy a different wine for each course that complements the foods (or more importantly wines that he would like rather than red with red, white with white etc.).

What can he not like about good food, with good company and what makes it all the nicer is the fact you put the effort in to the meal/present rather than just going to the shops/on line to buy something.

Hezzawithkids

Are you married to my OH? :rotfl: I have a similar issue, he has a milestone birthday this month and I want to get him something that he can keep forever (like the fine jewelry he got me for my last milestone birthday) but all he wants is gadgets that he'll use for a couple of years then replace as they become obsolete.

I've given up trying to persuade him otherwise LOL

marisco_2

If anything I am a little like your husband. I am told by my friends and family that they really struggle to know what to buy for me as presents. I can see where they are coming from. I am not a materialistic person at all, like my home to be pretty minimalist and have quite specific taste in what I do and don't like. So I am pretty much a nightmare to buy for

To be honest I much prefer to spend quality time in the company of those I love than receive any gift. It doesn't have to be anything big like a weekend away or an organised day out. Just going for a nice meal to a really good restaurant, meeting up and going for a lovely walk somewhere beautiful and relaxing etc. would make my day. If I were you I would put the ball in your husbands court and ask him what he would like to do for his birthday. You will have shown that you love and care for him and want to celebrate his special day, and all the pressure will be off you then

SuzieSue

It was my husband's birthday a few days ago and I didn't get him anything, not even a card. He doesn't get me anything on my birthday either as neither of us believe it to be important as we just try to be nice to each other every day and don't feel that we have to do anything special just because it is our birthdays.

We have both had partners in the past who bought us presents on our birthdays and then they were moody/unreasonable the rest of the time so it was a waste of time.

We just appreciate every day that we are together and presents don't mean anything. If either of us wants something, we just buy it.

aileth

If you ask my husband what he would like for birthday, he just shrugs and says not to bother. From being with him so far, I know he actually is bothered. If I said on the day, "You said not to bother, so I didn't", I know he'd be gutted.

Blokes like this are a lot of extra hard work, but then I suppose it's probably better than, "I want this and this and this and this and this...", etc. I make notes for myself through the year if he is especially drawn by something.

It's his 30th this month and I've got him some t-shirts from America which he saw somewhere and got a bit giddy about, drinks and sweets from Japan which he loved when we were over there, some jeans as he has worn out his current ones, and then I'm taking him to see world war z (he loves zombies) and to a restaurant, he's not fussed about food, but he actually got really excited about this place.

However, your hubby might be like mine or he might genuinely not be bothered. It's a tough one to call and I think you need to test the water one way or the other.

74jax

He isn't materialistic whatsoever, which is why I've always tried to do 'things' or experiences, but he just isn't bothered about those either :rotfl:

It's not that he's fussy, just if he see's something he likes he buys it, he wouldn't think 'ooooo the Mrs can get me that for my birthday'.

I don't mean any of this in a bad way, he is always appreciative and if I just bought him something he would 'say' he's happy etc even if not. But I wish he would make it easier, get excited, GIVE ME IDEAS!!

He spoils me rotten, and knows I love things like birthdays/christmas etc, so it's not as though he feels he doesn't like getting anything so I must be the same.

It really doesn't have to be 'things' as I love things like 'lets make each other something from what we can find int he house' and silly things like that, but it's our first as husband and wife and feel he's making it out we're 80 and not sure married 4 weeks ago :rotfl:

As for cooking the meal etc we have nights where I say to him to name an item of food - could be anything - and I make a meal around that and we have wine with our food weekly too so that's not uncommon.

the last two weekends we've had BBQ's on the beach with champagne we've been given for our wedding so it's not as though i could give him a voucher for a champagne bbq on the beach..............

Georgiegirl256

My husband puts a lot of thought into his present buying and tries to get something he thinks that person will really like (dont mention you want anything or you'll probably end up with it!), and likes it when others do the same. For instance on milestone birthdays him and his 2 brothers just give each other money which to him, means no effort has been put into it at all, and he always says that's it pointless really, it's more just a gesture than any meaning behind it.

He's into his Xbox (yeah, some men never grow up!) and blu rays, but as I don't know which ones are the latest ones out/which ones he's got, he always writes me a list at Christmas! The only one time I did get to surprise him was when he'd mentioned that he wanted to get into photography, so I saved up my dooyoo miles and got him a camera off Amazon, he was seriously gobsmacked and chuffed to bits with the thought I'd put into it....he's never used the blooming thing though :mad: :rotfl:

So yes, I know exactly where you're coming from, he says there's nothing he needs and writes a list when there is something out that he wants, but when there isn't, he's a seriously hard person to buy for because he has most things he needs.

He loves zombie movies, so one Christmas/birthday I got him some zombie stuff off Firebox....tshirt, zombie bits and bobs....nothing of use really, more decorative items, but I thought the novelty value would appeal and that he'd put them on his desk....god knows where they are....probably in a drawer somewhere!

I think in general men are so hard to buy for, so I feel your pain, they either have most things, or have a set idea of what they like, unlike women, where you can get numerous girlie things, handbags, jewellery, perfume etc and we'd be happy. Years and years ago, he got me this little handbag mirror as a stocking filler, and it's still one of my most used items today, I think us women are a lot easier to please!

From what I gather from your posts Jax, your hubby likes going surfing/that's his job? So he'd perhaps like outdoorsy things? What about a waterproof action camera?

74jax

marisco wrote: »

Just going for a nice meal to a really good restaurant, meeting up and going for a lovely walk somewhere beautiful and relaxing etc. would make my day. If I were you I would put the ball in your husbands court and ask him what he would like to do for his birthday. You will have shown that you love and care for him and want to celebrate his special day, and all the pressure will be off you then

That would be my idea of heaven but my hubby's of hell. We eat out every Friday after work and so if I suggested a meal out it would be there, and to me somewhere we go every week isn't 'special' but i need to get into my THICK HEAD it's his birthday and what HE WANTS..... I just can't ha ha ha. For my birthday he would treat me to a lovely place, so I guess I should go with what he wants. But it's no different to any other week.....