Boyfriend dumped me after buying house

claire16c

He sounds really weird to me. I can't believe he refused to come to your flat but wanted to charge you for staying at his?

And any man who mentions an x-box as part of an argument needs to grow up.

Why couldn't he have moved into your new place with you & paid you rent?

Bennifred

TPDE, I reckon that one day you will look back on this day as being the start of a really good time in your life.
He didn't deserve you, from what you say about his very selfish behaviour.
You are in such a good position to move on and up! Make plans for what you want to do to your new house, enjoy it, keep busy and be glad you found out what he thinks of you now and not later. Good luck!

Debs1968

Hi

I know it must hurt like heck at the moment, but I'm in agreement with Deanatrois and Shop-to-Drop above, it would appear he wasn't "the one" and you have had a lucky escape.

I know there are two sides to every story but, from reading your post it would appear you did all the giving and he all the taking - not a healthy, balanced relationship by anyones standards. He sounds quite immature and maybe all this grown up stuff has scared him. That's his problem, not yours.

Congratulations on your new home, I hope you have many happy years there and, in time to come, it becomes the happy family home that you envisaged.

paulineb_2

ValHaller wrote: »

You have been giving and giving far too much in this relationship. You have gone with your heart and bought a property, which was absolutely right for you and for your relationship. It is a shame your ex cannot see it, but he cannot, it is no failing on your part that he lacks imagination and vision.

Be confident that this is making space in your life for better things.

I actually dont agree, theres been comments made in the first paragraph that part of the reason hes ending it is because they arent living together.

Shes bought a property thats right for her and her partner at some time in the future, theres a massive difference.

The bottom line is, if the bf doesnt want to get engaged thats up to him, I dont see why someone should have to propose before someone will live with him when theyve been unofficially living together for months anyway.

And this is the first thread in a while where the views of hes been so awful and terrible I think are so strong, when I actually think the basic issue is lack of communication.

She wants to get married and have kids, Im not sure he does at the moment, thats not a crime. Neither is it a crime to ask someone for a financial contribution to a place that they are living in most of the time.

And we dont know how he is fixed financially either.

There are faults on both sides here and as I said, Im sorry she is heartbroken, but he may well be as well.

And its a shame to throw 4 years away over this.

Wickedkitten

You don't want to live together until you are married and he doesn't want to get married until you have lived together. Personally, I can see his point because I wouldn't want to marry someone that I hadn't lived with either.

The two of you could have both given up your flats and rented a bigger flat and then in time perhaps got married and bought a house together?

Person_one

He won't visit you in a house 3 minutes away from his flat because it would mean too much time away from his Xbox?

Never look back my dear, have fun decorating!

zzzLazyDaisy

Hugs, I am sorry this has happened and that you are feeling so bad. One day you will meet someone who really deserves you, and you will look back on this and realise you had a lucky escape.

And now I am going to say something that you might not want to hear, and I apologise if it is not the right thing to say....

But are you sure this new place is right for YOU? I ask because it is only a few minutes from his flat, you obviously chose it with him and you in mind as a couple, and thinking of marriage and babies. Making an offer doesn't commit you to anything, you haven't had a survey yet or incurred any expense, and yes if you backed out the sellers would be disappointed but that's not your problem. Buying a house is a huge commitment, it needs to be somewhere that you can see yourself, making a fresh start and a new life, on your own.

Just suggesting that you stop, and breathe and think about things.

Hugs

Dx

marisco_2

TPDE wrote: »

[FONT=&quot]I love him so much and I was so sure that he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with, that we would marry, we'd have children and grandchildren and grow old together. Now all of that has gone and it really, really hurts.[/FONT]

One day possibly a whole lot sooner than you can imagine right now, you will be thanking your lucky stars that your boyfriend showed his true colours, before you got as far as doing any of the above with him. From what you have divulged in your post you were involved with an immature, selfish individual who wanted your relationship to be on his terms only. Break ups hurt, but losing someone who makes it so clear that they don't respect and value you is actually a gain, not a loss.

Netwizard

OP you have been giving and giving, and not getting much back in return by the sound of it.

I agree with "hieveryone", He sounds jealous of your success.

Enjoy your new home. Your well shot of him

catkins

The OP says "from November 2009 to March 2013 we basically lived together at his flat". So they did live together for over 3 years. That makes his argument that he doesn't want to marry her until they have lived together and her argument that she doesn't want to live together until they are married ridiculous.