Boyfriend wanting too many holidays

sj77

My boyfriend lives to travel, we have had about 4 breaks already this year and at least 1 more planned. Its causing problems as i had a cat before i met him and my parents always helped with cat sitting. She has never been used to a cattery and a bit too old to start now.

My parents have had enough of all this cat sitting (understandably) im trying to find a middleground between keeping my boyfriend happy and taking my responsibilites as a cat owner. Its causing tension now.


My boyfriend is a surfer and has a campervan so wants to use it, when i tell him to go on his own sometimes he wont as he'll be lonely but i end up with him sulking all weekend.


Its getting me down and wondering if this relationship will work long term...


Had to rant get this off my chest, any suggestions to my dillema would be appreciated.. A cat sitter is an option but i really cant afford it to be honest especially when its not me that has this burning desire to be away all the time. I struggle saying no or upsetting people so some of this i acknowledge is self inflicted.

liney

Can you not ask a neighbour to put food out? Saying that, mine are fine on their own for two nights with food, water, bedding and a catflap into our garage.

balletshoes

I totally understand where you are coming from.

I agree with you - if you don't want to be away all those weekends, with bf in the campervan, tell him some weekends you'll just stay home and he can go. I don't buy this "I'll be a lonely little boy without you pout pout sulk sulk" - is he a teenager? What did he do about his surfing/campervan weekends away before you got together?

[Deleted User]

If he has such dependency issues that he's unable to spend a weekend away doing something he loves because you're not there I'd be questioning whether or not he's in a relationship with you or dependent on you... obviously you know what you want from a relationship but for me that would be a red flag. What if you want to go on holiday with just your friends for a week or have to go away for work, that won't be compatible with such a relationship.

If the breaks are just a day or two you could try a food dispenser that dispenses food on a timer, although they can be quite expensive.

zaksmum

Men are such a pain when they're like that aren't they?

My O/H is on the internet looking at flights before I've even had time to unpack - literally within five minutes of getting into the house after a week away - and it's too much.

I've got two dogs to sort out (they go to family) but I can't be pestering for dog care every five minutes.

Drives me mad.

Buzby

An animal comes first - it is not the cat's fault YOU selected an outward bound BF - and the fact your BF doesn't care is rather telling.

I have a Lhaso Apso (a rescue) that is desperately happy when left without his family - so we arrange to keep at least one of us with him wherever possible. When he shuffles off, we'll go on our long holidays - but not until then.

We get his love and unconditional devotion. Dumping him isn't an option.

Dunroamin

Considering another thread on here about someone's BF who doesn't want to include her in his activities, I'm surprised people are so negative.

Rather than a cat sitter, getting someone to come in once a day to feed and do the tray (if you don't want to let her out) isn't expensive and shouldn't disrupt your cat.

I don't think that 5 weekends away in 7 months is particularly excessive.

poet123

Dunroamin wrote: »

Considering another thread on here about someone's BF who doesn't want to include her in his activities, I'm surprised people are so negative.

Rather than a cat sitter, getting someone to come in once a day to feed and do the tray (if you don't want to let her out) isn't expensive and shouldn't disrupt your cat.

I don't think that 5 weekends away in 7 months is particularly excessive.

Nor do I, if aside from the cat you have no other responsibilities this is the time you can do these things. Unless you really don't want to go?

*max*

Dunroamin wrote: »

Considering another thread on here about someone's BF who doesn't want to include her in his activities, I'm surprised people are so negative.

Rather than a cat sitter, getting someone to come in once a day to feed and do the tray (if you don't want to let her out) isn't expensive and shouldn't disrupt your cat.

I don't think that 5 weekends away in 7 months is particularly excessive.

That's what I was thinking too. And I do have a cat.

Now if the issue is that you don't actually enjoy those breaks, then I can see why you wouldn't want to go. But the cat shouldn't be the sole reason really.

NervousHomeowner

I can understand why you'd be annoyed. Not only do you have to sort out your cats but if you don't enjoy the holidays, it can't be much of a 'holiday' at all!

I think someone else asked this but what did your other half do before you met? Did he have friends that he could go with? Or people he could meet up with when he was there?

Would he consider a compromise? Something like, you go on one trip with him and then he does the next one on his own. Or, he pays for the cat sitter. Or, if you go away with him, he has to go on a holiday/do something that you want to do - even if that means having a 'lazy weekend' at home

Gigglepig

I would get a cat sitter and enjoy the surfer boyfriend while still young and free - plenty of time to be a cat lady in old age