MSE Pregnancy Club 26

baleb

(This is probably just me being grumpy, but) I'm getting really fed up with strangers talking to me in the street! It's everywhere I go now. I feel like getting a sign that says 'yes, I'm pregnant. Yes, I've only got 2 weeks to go. No, I am not enjoying the heatwave' and wearing it above my head wherever I go

Hope your ok Clare

Baleb
37+5

yumyums

NoAngel wrote: »

Feeling a bit down because of DH. He's a complete xbox addict and its at the point where he gets in from work, turns the Xbox on and doesn't speak to me at all some nights. If I say anything he says he won't be dictated to. So I end up in bed on my own most nights till he comes up late, then he's so tired he can't get up when his alarm goes off and I end up wide awake unnecessarily at 5.30am To add to this he doesn't help out at all at home, even down to washing up a cup. Just getting really worried now, baby due date is 6 weeks away and I feel like I'm going to be doing it all alone

Sorry for the rant but can't talk to anyone in real life!

NoAngel, is he always like this or is it a recent thing? Have you been to antenatal classes or are you planning to attend? I've found them good because they get all the partners talking to eachother and I think it helps them realise they have a big part to play in the baby's life too. You will need support when the baby comes. Is there really no one you can talk to?

BeNiceToMySelf

NoAngel wrote: »

Feeling a bit down because of DH. He's a complete xbox addict and its at the point where he gets in from work, turns the Xbox on and doesn't speak to me at all some nights. If I say anything he says he won't be dictated to. So I end up in bed on my own most nights till he comes up late, then he's so tired he can't get up when his alarm goes off and I end up wide awake unnecessarily at 5.30am To add to this he doesn't help out at all at home, even down to washing up a cup. Just getting really worried now, baby due date is 6 weeks away and I feel like I'm going to be doing it all alone

Sorry for the rant but can't talk to anyone in real life!

rant away hun, it's a crap situation. Maybe suggest going out on some 'dates' as a couple so you reconnect? You could chat about the game with him while he's playing? Some subtle ways to remind him your pregnant and need looking after? Sounds like he's burying himself into his addiction. Could you write him a letter about it if he's not listening? Sometimes guys do need some time alone. Did he help out before this addiction? I hope it's a passing phase.

AFM feeling queasy and feeling baby roll around, urgh! I think the first trimester feeling of constant nausea is haunting me. Could be the start of heartburn but I hope not. 29+0

Metranil_Vavin

NoAngel that sort of behaviour to me is not acceptable

Thankfully we don't have any games consoles in our house (I just know OH would get addicted, and as I work in the computer games industry, the last thing I need at home is more of it!). However Before we cleared our spare room for the nursery, it contained all OH's music-making equipment and he used to go in there straight after dinner and stay there till bedtime with his headphones on!

I didn't mind though as we did have dinner together and spend a bit of time together, plus it meant I could watch all my favourite progs in peace.

However if your OH is just coming in and practcally ignoring you some evenings, he needs a slap IMHO.

Perhaps he is just trying to get in his 'gaming' time now as he knows baby isn't far away..believe me all that will go straight out of the window and he WILL be required to support and help you. Have you tried voicing your concerns? It's not good enough for him to say he won't be dictated to!

Having said all that, I'm a bit of a dragon..you're probably a nicer and more lenient person than me, but seriously he needs to get a grip.

35+1

TTC40

NoAngel wrote: »

Sorry to hear you're in hospital Clare, feel better soon.

MV- that's horrendous! I absolutely hate them but my house seems to be full of massive spiders!

Feeling a bit down because of DH. He's a complete xbox addict and its at the point where he gets in from work, turns the Xbox on and doesn't speak to me at all some nights. If I say anything he says he won't be dictated to. So I end up in bed on my own most nights till he comes up late, then he's so tired he can't get up when his alarm goes off and I end up wide awake unnecessarily at 5.30am To add to this he doesn't help out at all at home, even down to washing up a cup. Just getting really worried now, baby due date is 6 weeks away and I feel like I'm going to be doing it all alone

Sorry for the rant but can't talk to anyone in real life!

I had a similar rant to OH the other day. I wasn't polite & ended up with 'you do f all!'. It's not x box, it's that he can manage to balance playing sport, watching sport & having his work laptop on yet I have to ask to get the garden mowed. He is out a lot (which I don't mind most of) but when he can play golf on a Friday afternoon, catch up on work on Saturday morning, play cricket on Saturday afternoon & then watch cricket on Sunday it tips me over the edge!

NoAngel

BeNiceToMySelf wrote: »

rant away hun, it's a crap situation. Maybe suggest going out on some 'dates' as a couple so you reconnect? You could chat about the game with him while he's playing? Some subtle ways to remind him your pregnant and need looking after? Sounds like he's burying himself into his addiction. Could you write him a letter about it if he's not listening? Sometimes guys do need some time alone. Did he help out before this addiction? I hope it's a passing phase.

AFM feeling queasy and feeling baby roll around, urgh! I think the first trimester feeling of constant nausea is haunting me. Could be the start of heartburn but I hope not. 29+0

Going on some 'dates' would be nice, especially as its my birthday next week. He seems to want some sort of medal when he hasn't been on the Xbox for one evening. He says that ALL TV is boring and repetitive so he won't watch anything with me. All the films I choose are apparently rubbish.

I've tried to say I could do with some extra time to sleep, but for some reason he doesn't seem to be able to relax at work knowing I'm asleep (think its sub conscious) as he rings me, asks me to do little jobs etc.

One of his friends had some concerns, spoke to his wife and she spoke to me. When I tried to tell DH that even his friends are getting concerned about it he went into such a mood and starting going on about how he won't speak to this guy anymore. Thankfully he seems to have forgotten but it made me think that he's definitely realised there's an issue, why else would he be so defensive?

He's never really helped out at home, and whilst this bothers me, it's what I've accepted. I do the housework, cooking, washing etc as well as work full time. He'll do bits if I nag but I sense this is similar for other couples.

MV- if I say too much apparently I'm hormonal! I'm normally a dragon but I'm starting to lose interest in having the same argument and just focusing on the mini human growing inside me as soon she's going to be more important as she's going to be totally reliant on me!

Metranil_Vavin

Blokes can be a bit clueless when it comes to pregnancy, especially if it is their first foray into fatherhood.

Because they aren't actually doing much as the pregnancy goes on, their lives don't change like ours do, so they just tend to carry on as normal.

However once baby arrives..oh boy it's a wake up call! You have to make sure they pull their weight..it's just not on otherwise.

I used to be amazed that some of the girls from my NCT group thought it ok that their OH's would sleep in different rooms so they weren't disturbed in the night when the baby woke up!! !!!!!!???? OH and I took turns, and ok if your OH is back at work and needs to be getting up early, fair enough you may do the late shifts so they can get some sleep, but this seemed to be happening during paternity leave/weekends etc!!!
Also the amount of 'nights out' some of the blokes seemed to do, to me was not on.

You need the support in those early days, just keep reminding your mnfolk that these are their children too!!!

NoAngel

I suppose maybe its his way of having a last bit of 'free time' before baby arrives? He's said that once baby arrives he's deleting his online 'team' so that he won't be tempted back. Whilst this sounds reasonable I'd really like a bit of time to enjoy the last few weeks of it just being us.

I suppose I'm lucky in that DH doesn't really go out drinking, we have the same group of friends so would normally be out together, the guys might occasionally have a drink alone.

In our 1 bedroom house DH will need a miracle to have a separate bedroom!

Metranil_Vavin

Oh dear..sounds like a typical lazy-set-in-his-ways bloke.

How about you just clean/cook for yourself for a bit? Don't put his washing on, cook any dinner for him, leave his crap lying about? He'd soon see how much you are doing.

Unfortunately if you do everything for someone, they're likely to just let you get on with it.

Once your baby comes you are going to be far too occupied to be mothering him too.

NoAngel

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

Oh dear..sounds like a typical lazy-set-in-his-ways bloke.

How about you just clean/cook for yourself for a bit? Don't put his washing on, cook any dinner for him, leave his crap lying about? He'd soon see how much you are doing.

Unfortunately if you do everything for someone, they're likely to just let you get on with it.

Once your baby comes you are going to be far too occupied to be mothering him too.

LOL, I tried this one before. He totally didn't even notice! He just took his clothes back out of the wash basket and out them back on! Then got some toast for his dinner. Honestly it was quite funny as it ended up bugging me so much as I clearly have a bit of OCD!!