MSE Pregnancy Club 26

amyloofoo

Robots - Just delurking to let you know that I also have issues with anxiety and depression and have also previously worked in perinatal mental health (and currently work in postnatal care :rotfl:) so have experienced my fair share of both good and poor practice in antenatal care of women with MH issues. Most areas now have specialist mental health midwives who will be very used to sensitively handling these kinds of issues and all hospitals should have a specially designed care pathway for women with MH needs. It may be worth seeing if you can get a referral to one of these midwives or to your most local perinatal mental service (although these can be few and far between).

As Kerri has said, I also recommend you get in touch with the supervisor of midwives to discuss your treatment so far and hopefully create an ongoing plan that works for you.

Please feel free to PM me if there's anything I may be able to help with. I hope your experiences from now on are much more positive,

Amy xx

squ1rrel5

I agree with the above posts - my friend has serious health issues and wasnt happy with the midwife care she was getting. She is very much in control of everything and knows a great deal about her illness and how ut can affect pregnancy (she also has great support from her specialist consultant) but she has never seen the same midwife twice and each of them give her conflicting information about what shes spposed to do, to the point where shes wondering how theyve even qualified as midwives!! She has requested a change which I think is currently progressing and I just hope it all works out.
My experience with my midwife has been fantastic so I cant comment too much!!!

becca0417

Robots definitely request a change in care, that sounds like an awful experience. What is your normal mw like? Amy was v helpful when I had some concerns over an issue a few weeks back so definitely take up her offer for advice!!

Just a question ladies - I'm guessing baby won't fit in the Moses basket for the recommended 6 months they are supposed to be in your room... What do you do then??

squ1rrel5

Yes Becca, thats annoying isnt it - most moses basket say they are suitable up to around 4 months - but then if you want them in your room for the full 6 months what do you do for those extra 2 months if baby doesnt fit!!
I was thinking that if baby outgrows the basket they could go in the nursery sooner but not sure if im happy with that. Hoping that she stays moses basket sized until 6 months!!

emz118

Eeeeeek! Pram ordered!!! I have ended up ordering the uppababy vista in Taylor Indigo (more of a navy colour) and a car seat, all for £599.19. RRP is £764.98, so I'm pretty chuffed!!!

The car seat is a bit confusing though... The options were the maxi cosi cabriofix, at £135 -20% or the besafe izigo at £119-20%. They both fit, the cabriofix rubs slightly on the pram handle as it fits. They didn't have the izigo in stock, so I couldn't really make a decision....

So, I think just to secure the sale, she has ordered both and charged me the lower price, then when they arrive I can go in and decide which one, but only pay the lower price. That meant charging me £95.20, so I didn't mention the price match of £94! Lol.

Think we've decided on the cabriofix, as the isofix base is MUCH cheaper, but hubby is still reading up, so we'll see what we end up with!!!

Does anyone have any experience of these seats?

It's such a relief to have it ordered and 50% paid for and stored until we're ready to go and get it.


Edit: My colleague from work found that her baby outgrew her moses basket at 17 weeks, so put her into her cot in her nursery and found that she sleeps much better. I think as long as you have a monitor it will be fine. Baby will be moving as soon as they're too big for the moses basket as I can't fit any more in our room!!!

becca0417

Yeah I think baby will just have to go in their own room when they outgrow the basket. I'm not putting the cot in our room!!

Pram sounds a bargain emz! We have the cabriofix & I love it. There is a new isofix base coming out (http://www.maxi-cosi.co.uk/gb-en/products/car-seats/base-units/2wayfix.aspx) on 1st Jan so the family fix may be reduced. We are going to get the new 2way base when it comes out.

tiny_courageous

Our LO has grown out of his moses basket by 11 weeks, we have his cot in our room now - we got a small cot from Kiddicare (it was also very cheap, came to £40 with mattress I think, with special offers) which might fit into a bedroom if size is an issue, but is still big enough to last a while.

[relurks]

kerri_dfw

I think when baby outgrows the Moses basket we'll move her to the mattress on the floor, but in our room. She's got a mattress on the floor in her nursery at the moment as we're going the unconventional route and not having a cot. Will see how she sleeps, but if she sleeps better in her own room then we'll move her sooner than the recommended 6 months. I didn't sleep in with my parents that long, and I've turned out ok.

BadlyWrittenPoem

RobotsinDisguse wrote: »

to any survivors of reading all of that, firstly I am sorry to burden you with this, and second, does anyone have any advice for me?

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with helthcare professionals who made things worse.

Wrt the asprin, I presume it was your GP who told you only to take paracetamol? There are loads of medications which are known to be safe to take during pregnancy or to have a very low risk but the general advice is not to take them because you shouldn't take them unless the benefits make them worthwhile. Asprin is commonly given in pregnancy both as prevention of pre-eclampsia or hypertension and to help people who have suffered recurrent miscarriage or are known to have certain blood disorders which can cause miscarriage as the benefits are considered to outweigh the risks. The consultant should have explained that the risks outweigh the benefits and also explained that the dose is different to what you would take as a painkiller when you questioned it - when I was told I would be offered it, the consultant referred to it as "low dose asprin".

Wrt the general treatment you received from the consultant, I would suggest that you request not to be treated by her again. You are entitled to do so and you do not have to give any reasons unless you want to - I changed MW in my last pregnancy because mine was so bad and when I requested to change, nobody questioned my request or asked why at all. (I do think that the treatment you received is worthy of a complaint but I'm guessing based on what you have said that it is probably not something you would be up to emotionally at this time and that you need to just prioritise getting the best treatment for yourself right now rather than pursue complaints.)

The hospital mix up sounds like probably one of those one off mistakes which in these specific circumstances had a big knock on impact but if you feel that it has made going to that hospital too anxiety inducing, another option is to change hospitals which again you should be able to do relatively easily.

Another thing that might be helpful is to enquire as to whether there is a mental health MW. I don't know lots about it but I have known people be referred to a MHMW and if there is one available it might help in terms of their ability to accomodate your specific needs and in terms of their awareness of and understanding that you have specific needs.

ETA: Incidentally, my BP was lower once I had changed community MW and was lower the time when the terrible one wasn't there and a random one was covering for her - it really does make a huge difference and I do recommend changing any Dr or MW who is treating you in a way which is causing you significant stress.

Frugalbride

kerri_dfw wrote: »

I think when baby outgrows the Moses basket we'll move her to the mattress on the floor, but in our room. She's got a mattress on the floor in her nursery at the moment as we're going the unconventional route and not having a cot. Will see how she sleeps, but if she sleeps better in her own room then we'll move her sooner than the recommended 6 months. I didn't sleep in with my parents that long, and I've turned out ok.

This is really interesting Kerri, as I have been thinking of not having a cot and using a mattress on the floor. It is what Montessori recommends and I have used loads of the Montessori ideas at work as I am a nursery teacher.
I have been unsure what mattress to get or whether to get a futon base to go underneath. What are you using?