MSE Pregnancy Club 26

BadlyWrittenPoem

Locky wrote: »

Also, apparently, I'm so big I'm not going to make my due date (30 Oct), we're stupid for getting our bathroom and hallway done now (I'm not stressed about it, why should others be!?), our car (Micra) is too small, and someone even said to me what are we going to do about the pram and the seven steps that lead up to our house?! We've also got two cats and people keep going on about how they're going to react to the baby! Rarr!

We managed fine with a Micra and two children until it was written off so I can't see why it would be too small for one child.

BadlyWrittenPoem

lobey wrote: »

Apparently he needed to know in case I died having the baby and DH needed support, very reassuring!!

Aside from that being a rather unhelpful thing to say when someone is about to give birth, I'm not sure why being told when you went into labour would make any difference to the support he could give. Unless he was planning to wait in the hospital waiting room just in case which would be really weird!

amyloofoo

Bloody hell lobey! :eek: I don't know how I'd have reacted to that one - what did you and your OH say?

Sorry I've been a bit quiet, have been having some health problems so decided not to bring the thread down (baby's fine though, don't worry). Saw the consultant today and looks as though the most likely outcome is a caesarean delivery between 38 and 39 weeks, but we'll confirm for definite and get a date at our 36 week appointment.

Hope everyone's well, so pleased to see that things resolved themselves Nene and that LO is giving you less trouble now

**Please note that the following is all my own opinion based on personal experience, and I'm not intending to offend anyone, or speak in any sort of professional capacity**

I also took the opportunity to watch Midwives last night... That lady really upset me TBH and brought back a lot of work-related drama. I can definitely see both sides - the mother was terrified, had previously experienced birth trauma which she felt (rightly or wrongly) had been exacerbated by hospital staff and felt that the maternity team weren't explaining things fully or listening to her concerns, as had happened in her previous pregnancy. I feel a lot of this could have been improved if her previous birth trauma had been addressed prior to this pregnancy and if some staff had taken a little more time in explaining situations (perhaps offering a doula), but unfortunately it's rare for hospitals to be proactive in offering meaningful support for birth trauma. As a result, she may well have turned to groups such as AIMS and the NCT, which although incredibly helpful for many women, can sometimes present further issues for women who are having more complicated pregnancies - they're not medically trained and promoting natural birth, whilst laudable, can sometimes make women who *can't* have a natural vaginal delivery feel pressured into making particular decisions, or feel that they're being judged if they don't meet the 'natural' ideal (this is just my experience, I'm sure others will disagree ).

On the other hand, I have hidden in a toilet with a midwife colleague and sobbed with her when a lady wouldn't follow medical advice, discharged herself, and we were both concerned for the life of her and her baby. The next day she was back and lambasting us both for apparently being uncaring and unsympathetic - we weren't, but what neither of us could explain was that there had been a stillbirth in very similar circumstances that very week, and that we were frightened for her, and concerned that she would regret her decisions. I've seen doctors, midwives, neonatal nurses and maternity support workers all moved to tears of fear, frustration and genuine heartbreak by people acting against medical advice - but they are forced to hide this and remain professional. None of this means that women should simply comply with all medical advice, but I think often people think that maternity staff are emotionless and just following the rules. For most, that's simply not the case - if you've made a fully informed decision then in 99/100 circumstances they will simply accept the decision, however the stakes are very high and it's understandable that there are going to be occasions when they have to make VERY sure that the mother has fully understood the consequences of their choices.

Staff should never aim to scare women into changing their decisions, but the facts do need to be presented, and unfortunately sometimes these are scary. I understand that a 'good' birth isn't simply about the physical health of mum and baby, and that medical staff are sometimes too dismissive of the role of trauma and emotional wellbeing of the mother. There's sometimes a tendency for clinical staff to simply think "baby's fine and she's walking, so it was an okay birth", but this ignores that we're all different and react differently to the life-changing experience of giving birth - you don't need to have a caesarean or a 4th degree tear to experience birth trauma. I just think it's sad that we're so poor in this country at offering follow up support and intervention for ladies who experience 'difficult' births.

Anyway, rant over :rotfl:

CherylOB

Hey everyone,

I just received an offer for free tickets to the baby and toddler show at Glow at Bluewater this weekend.

Booking page: http://babyandtoddlershow.seetickets.com/tour/baby-toddler-show-at-glow

Offer code: BBW98

I went in March and wasn't overly impressed, but ok if you are local

abis21

Thank you everyone for your kind words about our cat. Starting to feel a bit brighter again, but have had a rough ol week with the emotions.

Had a fab midwife appointment yesterday which I think has really helped put my mind at ease about a few different things inc the slapped cheek results. Went through all the birth plan etc too. Baby had hiccups when she listened in and we heard it hiccupping too - it was so sweet :happyhear

Also had a good health visitor appointment today - so I'm on a roll now

And the nursery is almost cleared!!!! I can't believe it!! Will be all decorated very soon

Am feeling lots more organised now - got a few bits bought for the hospital bag, maternity pads etc, and finally remembered some non-bio washing powder so I will be able to start washing baby bedding & clothes soon :T

What has everyone done about moses basket bedding? Last time DD went straight into a cot, but I have a moses basket this time as I know we will be visiting the inlaws around 4 weeks after the due date, so a moses basket will be more practical. I have been looking at second hand, but it doesn't seem that much cheaper. I already have cellular blankets and flat sheets for the cot - do I definitely need moses basket stuff as well?

As for the messages thing - I went 10 days over with DD and was induced. I could have screamed with all the messages and phone calls - and that was before facebook and all the extra ways that people can bother you these days :rotfl: I've been very vague with people are said end of November as our due date (19/11) and I've now started fudging how many weeks pregnant I am to correlate with the end of November Last time if I had explain to my mother one more time that I would definitely let her know if I had given birth there may have been some permanent damage done :eek: Even after I had my date for induction, and then rang her at mid-day to let her know that I was in labour and would update at the end - she still thought she'd give the hospital a ring to 'check' how things were going. Sooooo frustrating!!!

MIL asked me the other day what my due date was so I explained that I was being a bit vague on purpose and end of Nov etc. And then she asked if the midwife had given me my due date yet after seeing her yesterday Bless, I did feel a bit mean - I know they are all excited. But I fully expect to be overdue again, so I am just preserving my own sanity hopefully by being a bit vague with them

Abi 34 + 2

cloudy11

I am glad in a way that other people have comments about their pets! My mom is always saying that our cats will react badly to the baby etc and it's annoying- as if we would just let the cats and the baby fight amongst themselves!

We have decided not to tell anyone in my husbands family when I am labour but my mom really wants to know. I know she's excited but not sure I will tell her...feel a bit mean but I don't know how I will feel yet!

I hope everyone is well! I still don't have Internet so feel really behind on posts- sorry!

I had my 38 week appt at the MLU today and it is so lovely. Really really hope I get to go there instead of the hospital with awful visiting hours! Although I can be transferred there after should I need to be. Kscarlet- is that an option for you?

WalkingOnADream

I am so glad that other people feel the same about 'comments' from others. My family make out that I am a moody and unsociable so and so who is strange because I don't wish to share every detail of my life with them. I was that annoyed last night that I couldn't get to sleep for thinking about it.

I don't quite understand what is meant by the comment 'what will you do with the dog' - what response do they expect? I have resorted to using sarcastic replies or the answer 'nothing'.

I swear people forget what it's like to be pregnant judging by the number of stupid questions I get asked like 'When do you think the baby will come'? - erm I don't know, I don't have that super power. Another is being told that as the baby hasn't arrived yet I'm obviously going to go past my due date - I don't know how they work that one out seeing as there is still 2 weeks to go until I'm due.

I am trying to remember all the things that people have done to annoy me and promise not to do the same things or say the same things to other pregnant ladies.

BadlyWrittenPoem

abis21 wrote: »

What has everyone done about moses basket bedding? Last time DD went straight into a cot, but I have a moses basket this time as I know we will be visiting the inlaws around 4 weeks after the due date, so a moses basket will be more practical. I have been looking at second hand, but it doesn't seem that much cheaper. I already have cellular blankets and flat sheets for the cot - do I definitely need moses basket stuff as well?

I used pillowcases as sheets for the Moses basket if that's any help. (Can't help with blankets as we were given some little ones anyway.)

Lola888

I don't blame any of you ladies for being vague about dates and not telling people. I tried that with my first, but DH has the breaking strain of a Kit Kat and tells people everything. When I found out I was pregnant I said close family only i.e mums, dads and siblings. We were out in the car, very shortly after finding out and his mobile pinged, I checked it as he was driving and there was a congratulations text from his cousin!!:mad:

When I started having contractions he rang his parents (they are separated so 2 phone calls!!). They then proceeded to bombard him with calls and texts as the baby took her time and my cheeky MIL came to the hospital within 1 hour of the baby being born even though I said no visitors!! :mad::mad: With a weak a$$ excuse that her nephew had hurt his knee playing football so needed to go to A&E. He played football on Sat morning, the baby was born on Sun afternoon!!

Basically my DH is a motor mouth!!

34 wks today

fluffysox

Abis you can use pillowcases for moses basket but we used fitted sheets as they also fit onto mattress in the pram. We always put a folded flat sheet/ pillowcase over this as well though (or occasionally a folded muslin) as they were easy to remove if baby was a bit sick on it. Re: blankets, we were given some little ones but preferred a big cot sheet or cellular blanket as they're easier to swaddle with. I think we got moses basket fitted sheets from B&M. They weren't expensive. They had small cellular blankets too. (couple of years ago now but they prob still have them) Our most used bedding was part of a gift set from mothercare, warm flat cot sheet and cellular blanket in blue. Got some more of these, exactly the same at a car boot sale recently. 2 of each, white, immaculately clean and fluffier than mine- should have asked the lady what she washed them in lol. Also we got fitted sheets for cot bed from Tesco (double Clubcard points event) and they are still in use. Have washed well.