MSE Pregnancy Club 26

Flower08

Angelmommy wrote: »

This may be a bit controversial but.....I am surprised there aren't any policies in place for when it could be argued that the mother does not have capacity to make an informed decision. I fully appreciate mother was extremely scared but this could be argued as clouding her reasonable judgement and therefore possibly putting both herself and her baby, at risk.


Controversial yes, but I couldn't agree more!!


This is not meant to offend anybody, it is purely my opinion based on other aspects of life in which I know capacity to make decisions is at the forefront. I have come across medical staff that I felt had an impact on me losing my last child. However, I cannot dispute that they still know far more about the health of my baby and myself more than me.

And my last point before I quit my little rant - my hubby made a good point when we were watching it.....why didn't the dad say anything? I'm a VERY independent woman however, my hubby would've given me a stern talking to if OUR child was at risk. Fair enough it's our body at the end of the day but I would listen to the man I love if he was worried about the health of me and our baby.

Yes OH mentioned this as well, if it were me in that position I know OH would of given me a stern talking to aswell.

WalkingOnADream

I can't remember who was asking about going away late on in pregnancy. We went away a 3 hour drive away when I was 35 weeks (and I drove) and it was fine. Obviously couldn't handle much walking so we just did smaller activities instead. I took my notes with me but didn't bother with any of my bags.

I'm getting very impatient now with only 2 weeks to go and the phone calls/texts asking for 'any news' have been going on for a week already which is annoying. I don't like unannounced visitors but family seem to think its now acceptable to turn up whenever they feel like to check I'm not in labour (probably because I've told them I won't be telling anyone I'm in labour).

Im fed up of the comments from people now, saying we are 'in for a shock' when baby arrives is not helpful. I'm not an incompetent child, I'm mid twenties and have lived away from home for 8 years. I know how to look after myself and Im sure we can manage with a baby.

Everything for baby has finally arrived and all the stuff we will need for the first few months is set up and ready but the house is still a bit chaotic as we now have piles of stuff around the house which will need to go to the tip. But my family seem to think I need to get my act together and get the house in order. I don't see the problem, if baby comes early I've got everything he will possibly need and I'm sure he won't care about a bit of mess, it's not like my house is dirty!

Also if one more person asks me what I'm going to do with the dog or if I'm going to get rid of the dog once baby arrives I will scream. Obviously I don't know how she will react but I'm certain she will get used to the baby seeing as she is still a puppy herself. I'm not going to leave them alone together but I'm also not going to lock the dog out all the time when I'm there! My dog is tiny, smaller than a cat so it's not like she is going to be in the way!

I really think they should have places where women can go and hide out during the last weeks of pregnancy so they can't be hassled. All the baby pictures have made me more excited to meet mine!!

TTC40

Walkingonadream - know the feeling. It's lovely that people are interested but people can contact through so many channels I feel a bit stalked.

I decided to go for a proactive approach this morning & put a FB post up just saying that all was well - the disadvantage is that it brings it to the attention of those who didn't know that the due date is imminent.

Let me know if you find the place we can go & hide.

Locky

WalkingOnADream wrote: »

Im fed up of the comments from people now, saying we are 'in for a shock' when baby arrives is not helpful. I'm not an incompetent child, I'm mid twenties and have lived away from home for 8 years. I know how to look after myself and Im sure we can manage with a baby.

I'm glad it's not just me – was saying exactly this to my husband earlier! Why do people feel the need to make such stupid comments? I'm mid-thirties and still being told this! Why are we 'in for a shock' exactly? I'm fully aware our lives are going to be different and we won't be able to go to the cinema and out for meals so regularly. We'll just have to adapt!

Also, apparently, I'm so big I'm not going to make my due date (30 Oct), we're stupid for getting our bathroom and hallway done now (I'm not stressed about it, why should others be!?), our car (Micra) is too small, and someone even said to me what are we going to do about the pram and the seven steps that lead up to our house?! We've also got two cats and people keep going on about how they're going to react to the baby! Rarr!

And breathe! Sorry for the rant! Lol :mad:

mincepiemonster

I think that looks perfect Kerri. Even if the package works out slightly more with OH's massage, you'll be saving a lot on petrol.

Locky, my DD was due on 30th October 2011. I put on 3.5 stone, which was a lot for a 5'1"-er like me, and it was pretty much all bump. She was born on the 29th October at 11.58pm - 2 mins early! :rotfl:I'm glad I didn't go overdue because on the due date I got so many texts asking how I was doing - would've really wound me up if I was still waiting! People just have to make comments when you're pregnant - too big, too small, high bump, low bump, sometimes I got all those said by different people in the same day :rotfl:

For those that are interested, I got the Britax B Dual in cool berry. http://store.britax.co.uk/c/pushchairs_b-dual?action_type=switch_product&selected_cat_keys=1043469.1043474.0.0.0&selected_product=0a4ba7721dc7a38fcab714f1e3284e7c&redirected_post=1
With K!ddic@re price match I got the pushchair, second seat and car seat for £305 :T

neneromanova

Well I'm back from hospital after being monitored. He's fine, was a little quiet but when he moved he moved and his heartbeat went up so they were happy with that

Taken some weight off my mind though

Hope everyone else is OK.

lobey

I am so glad everyone else is getting this- I get at least 6 messages a day from co workers and well meaning friends that I have stopped replying! I am sorry for being a miserable cow but it's not making the baby come out any faster! A friend of DH called by yesterday at dinner (one of those that always happens to appear when meals are being served!) and ended up arguing with me when I said we wouldn't be telling him when I was in labour. Apparently he needed to know in case I died having the baby and DH needed support, very reassuring!!

This wasn't meant to be a rant but I'm getting a little fed up now...

39+2

Flower08

lobey wrote: »

Apparently he needed to know in case I died having the baby and DH needed support, very reassuring!!

:eek:What kind of thing is that to say to someone!!

BadlyWrittenPoem

an9i77 wrote: »

The fact is, the medical professionals know a lot better than she does what is best (as in terms of least risk)

I don't know the detail of this particular scenario to be able to comment on who knew better so I am not disagreeing over whether they did in this particular instance but I just want to mention that sadly it is definitely not always the case that the medical professionals know better than the mother what is best. I could cite minor examples from my own personal experience but I would say the best evidence I have is the sibling I have who suffered brain injury because the so called professionals thought they knew better.

BadlyWrittenPoem

Angelmommy wrote: »

This may be a bit controversial but.....I am surprised there aren't any policies in place for when it could be argued that the mother does not have capacity to make an informed decision. I fully appreciate mother was extremely scared but this could be argued as clouding her reasonable judgement and therefore possibly putting both herself and her baby, at risk.

There was a case where a woman was forced by court order to have a CS and it was later ruled that the court had no right to do so. I don't know the details of the case but I presume from that that as the law stands, unless a mother was sectioned, compulsory treatment could not be given.