MSE Pregnancy Club 26

Poppy27

dizziblonde wrote: »

Is there any need to describe a woman who is scared and in pain as "awful"? Sorry but that's really nasty judgemental language to use - I guess my first time around I must have been "awful" too.
........

Blimey I've just logged on finally after a busy day and it's all kicked off cos of little ole me! :eek:

Sorry to have caused any offence but the users who replied in my absence were right in that I meant it was awful to watch. And it looked like she was having an awful time what with all the panicking and screaming!

Given that everyone else knew what I meant, it just seems as though you're being over sensitive and defensive because of your own experience. I wasn't in any way disapproving of her labour, and I've never judged anyone's birthing/parenting choices. To kick off like that over one little word/phrase, and disrupt what is usually a very informal friendly chatty environment, was totally unnecessary.

Toothfairy4 wrote: »

I don't think Poppy meant it like that, probably more 'awful' in the sense that it was awful to watch? I'm sure she doesn't need a telling off for just voicing her opinion anyway. Not nice.

Exactly. Thanks to all who stepped in - I read through it all in such a rush I didn't remember everyone's usernames but it is really appreciated and I'm glad most of you knew what I meant and voiced it for me :):)

Ahhhh MV she is sooooo gorgeous! Love seeing baby pics, makes me even more keen and impatient to meet my own little bubs!!

Aww bless your DD Abis, hope she recovered quickly and wasn't injured. Must admit that story made me chuckle, poor thing! :rotfl:

Toothfairy re. birth balls, I got a Reebok gym ball for my birthing ball. It's made of anti-burst material so if it broke it would result in a slow leak rather than a heavy pregnant woman hitting the floor! Make sure you look into getting the right size, average is about 65cm but I think if you're under 5'4 you need a smaller one. That said, I'm 5'3 and mine is 65cm but I don't think they ever really reach the height they are supposed to even when fully inflated. It's v comfy to sit on and even hubby has a turn lol :rotfl:

Wow baba moose I've been contemplating a sling/carrier and that's all really useful info, thank you! Hope your scan goes ok and they are worrying over nothing. I've only had the same midwife for two appointments, 8 weeks and 35 weeks! Apart from that it has always been a new face due to holidays, illnesses, etc!!

I'd like a wrap but hubby would prefer a traditional carrier (I think he thinks the wraps are a bit 'womanly' for him to use too, lol!) So I've been looking at Ergo baby and Maxi Cosi Easia carriers (both sold in John Lewis) I think they are 'soft carriers' and from what I've read are approved by the hip dysplacia board as they are froggy style, not crotch danglers - has anyone used either of these brands before??

Lola888

BabaMoose it might be where you are. With my first I saw the same MW every time apart from when she went on holiday and I saw a lovely lady and her trainee. It was nice as she was explaining everything to her and I was ear wigging!

This time round I am with the same mw again and I have seen her every time so far, but I know she is off the for my next appointment as it's her mums birthday.

Angelmommy- I second everything Babamoose has said. I used slings and carriers with my first until I got too pregnant to carry and she was getting to the stage where she wanted to walk everywhere. The normal high street carriers are usually a big no no as they don't support the baby properly and they are usually uncomfortable for the person carrying. I would recommend going along to a sling meet if they have them near you. There are also loads of fb groups some of which are huge so someone could live near you who could meet with you so you could try some before you buy. I'm a member of quite a few groups and have bought a couple of wraps/carriers and been to a few meets- nice way of meeting local like minded mums.

Poppy27 my DH would not trust himself wrapping so I got him a Manduca in plain black which is more manly. I've heard loads of good things about ergos though, but don't buy from eBay as there are loads of fakes floating around. Like I said above if you are on fb join the sling groups, people trade/buy/ sell all the time.

Flower08

BabaMoose wrote: »

I was wondering - the midwife appointments that you've all been having so far, have they been with the same person? I have had 6 different people so far, never the same one twice. Feel like I'm just going in to drop my pee in a bottle off and then go home again... Not talked about a birth plan, anything really. All seems a bit - ad hoc.

Apologies this post turned out to be so long!!

With DS they were so short staffed with midwives in the area that I seemed to see someone different everytime and to be honest just felt like I was being passed from pillar to post half the time. It got to the point where I had to make sure I wrote down everything I wanted to ask or talk about because I just felt like I was being shoved out the door.

This time though I have a lovely midwife who I see every time (although saying that I wont see her next week as she is on holiday so will be seeing someone else, but i'll let her off for that :rotfl:).

continualdiamond

BabaMoose wrote: »

I was wondering - the midwife appointments that you've all been having so far, have they been with the same person? I have had 6 different people so far, never the same one twice. Feel like I'm just going in to drop my pee in a bottle off and then go home again... Not talked about a birth plan, anything really. All seems a bit - ad hoc.

Apologies this post turned out to be so long!!

For me it has only been once that I haven't seen the same person. My midwife was on annual leave for one of my appointments. Some of my appointments I haven't been in very long, others I have because I've got more q's etc etc.

BadlyWrittenPoem

lobey wrote: »

Anyone else been sold physiological delivery of the placenta? I assumed mws prefer to go for the injection but seems they don't routinely do that at my hospital.

I had it last time (and was supposed to the first but the MW obviously didn't know what a physiological third stage was so did controlled cord traction plus they cut the cord immediately for no apparent reason) and there was nothing about the experience that made me want to do otherwise in the future.

BadlyWrittenPoem

My DH doesn't like wraps (he used the stretchy but then when we went to the sling library the lady who runs it got him to do a FWCC with a woven and he still talks about it as if it was the most complicated thing in the world to do) so he has his own SSC which he chose so that he likes it and I have my pretty woven wraps.

BadlyWrittenPoem

Here you have the same MW every time unless they are on holiday or off sick or something. Part of their job is supposed to be to provide you with emotional support throughout your pregnancy as needed and I can't see how they can do that if you just have a random MW each time.

Angelmommy

Thank you BWP, Lola, BabaMoose and anyone else that gave advice re:slings. I must admit, it will be mainly hubby that uses it but am hoping I will be able to use it occasionally to bf. really appreciate all the advice, it was really informative. We don't have any sling meets near us, nor any well stocked baby stores. Will check out the fb groups etc as suggested. :-)

Metranil - Lola is a beauty, you must be so proud.

Good luck to those being induced/having sweeps. Very exciting!

I've had the same midwife each time but I think that's more due to me having appointments always on wed afternoons. I don't think they really pay attention to your birth plan until you get to around 34wks here which I suppose makes sense as I for one, have changed my mind on a couple of things since attending antenatal classes etc. Had good chat about what I/we want from the birth etc, yesterday - midwife now put referral in for me to go to birthing unit and next app in 2wks will include a walk around the birthing unit. Starting to feel so real. :j

Re:breast feeding. I didn't with dd1, to be totally honest, I hated the thought of it. With dd2 I did it but she fed every hour, on the hour - made worse when after 2wks hubby was sent away for 2wks (R Marines), I lived 200+ miles from family and had a 7yr old to get to school. Became exhausted v quickly so put dd2 on formula for last bottle at night - she slept through each night and I was able to bf all day. Worked perfectly for me. Will try again bf as situation different now but have bought a ready made carton of aptimil - just in case! May sound silly but feel safer now I have it! Breast is best is pushed in your face here and I felt guilty and useless that I couldn't cope, last time but this time, 10yrs older, I'm not putting pressure on myself. I know now as long as my baby is fed, clothed and loved - it doesn't matter what way I go about it. A happy mom is better than an exhausted mom! Sorry, turned into a little rant!

34+4

bride2be2012

an9i77 wrote: »

Yes - you only get the right to take the leave after 6 months service.
The only right that he could take would be for emergency dependent's leave, for example if the wife was ill after the labour and unable to care for the baby. (would only apply after baby born) Even this right is only supposed to be used to arrange care, not provide care.

Worst case scenario if hubby just took wife to hospital this could if the employer was being mean be classed as unauthorised leave and lead to disciplinary action etc. There is no right to time off just because your partner goes into labour unfortunately.

I work in HR and used to work for a mean employer, who would try and block people's leave in all sorts of situations like this if I didn't reign them in!

My OH just started a new job, so we won't get any paternity pay and will be relying on their generosity to let him have some time off. Luckily I know when it is happening as it's a planned section

Thanks for this, however I'm a bit confused as I found on the gov.uk site that DH could take time off if I go into labour under emergency care for dependants? But as you say, not for care, but at least that would allow DH to come to hospital with me when I'm in labour. I'll try and post the link, but on DHs iPad so don't know if it'll work: https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/whats-an-emergency

Very annoyed at DHs work, as he went back on the understanding he wouldn't take annual leave over the summer months (when they are super busy) but could take two weeks when bump arrives, no need to name precise dates, just take two weeks from when i go into labour. then at the start of the week they started hassling him for dates, then today said he could only have next week as he hadn't given them dates!

Im just hoping that all my bouncing on the ball has helped and bump arrives tomorrow on her due date!

Bangton

BabaMoose wrote: »

I was wondering - the midwife appointments that you've all been having so far, have they been with the same person? I have had 6 different people so far, never the same one twice. Feel like I'm just going in to drop my pee in a bottle off and then go home again... Not talked about a birth plan, anything really. All seems a bit - ad hoc.

Apologies this post turned out to be so long!!

I constantly see different midwives. I have seen my usual midwife a few times but she has been on annual leave and various courses throughout. Generally when I do see her she is with a student who runs the session whilst she sits overseeing it. The only time I have seen her alone is at my first 8 week appointment and a home visit she did around 10 weeks. To some degree I don't mind it and I have seen some lovely midwives throughout but by another token I would have found it hard had I had a difficult pregnancy.

To be honest I've found my own midwife particularly poor. She can be really dismissive. Yesterday for example she felt for baby's position and never said anything else so I asked if she knew where he was. In a shirty way she said 'we don't have a crystal ball you know for when baby's are going to come'. I wasn't asking for a date and time of arrival..I just wanted to know if he had started to engage. As it is at 38 weeks I have no idea where he is!

Yesterday I was in and out within 5 minutes. She didn't want to discuss if I went overdue just wanted to speak about my hair and whether I colour it ( I don't) and how long it is. I can talk hair and beauty all day long but when I only have 5 minutes because she is running behind I want to talk about my baby and pregnancy not my hair!!

Anyhow I think I needed that little rant!

Had a bit of a funny day really. Feel very emotional for some reason. Tight month money wise due to OH's paternity leave which I've factored in as it's unlikely I won't have had baby before I next get paid. We have also had a large final car payment this month (car on finance) plus my wage was £100 down due to getting paid 4 weekly and not monthly and OH has had 3 days unpaid sick as he hasn't been well. So all in all whilst I am fine after this month I'm hating having to reign myself in even for a month and hating the prospect of SMP going forward!!!

I'm scared I'll want to go to work before the years out too and not want to be with my baby OH thinks I'm just in limbo waiting for him to come and I do think he's right. I'm so excited to meet baby and so terrified of being a SAHM even for just a year!