MSE Pregnancy Club 26

Toothfairy4

Bangton wrote: »

Days ago I wrote about BF and the fact that I find it pretty gross. No one jumped or berated me at a time when actually I expected some might...

I'll miss this forum when it's time to go and the women on it! That's not a dig at you btw Flower, it's just not my experience of this thread at all

Totally agree Bangton, I have posted a few questions about formula feeding and was really expecting the usual 'why aren't you breastfeeding, dont you realise it's the best way?' type responses that I have seen on other forums, no one batted an eyelid. I think people on here are generally very open minded and helpful!

nessie216

Toothfairy4 wrote: »

nessie, i have heard nothing from my midwife about a birth plan. Seeing her tomorrow at 36 weeks so maybe that'll be when it's mentioned?

Maybe I have just been forgotten then as I won't see my normal midwife Until after baby is born :-(

I want to make sure that DH tells me what gender baby is & I would like to cut the cord myself if possible!

fluffysox

Re birth plans, midwife last pregnancy asked me to write one by the next appt. She didn't help so I looked on internet what sort of things to include then typed one out. She annoyed me when she read it tbh cos she sniggered and said it was "very thorough" in quite a scornful way. As if I was naive and thought everything always goes to plan. She was the one who asked me to write it for goodness sake. And to be fair midwives in labour ward did read the plan and did things as we'd asked. So I would write one and put it with your notes anyway. I will do this time again despite lots if my birth plan being predetermined by the docs.

amus

I definitely want my baby cleaned before he/she is placed on me. Sounds awful but after a somewhat difficult birth with DS2 having this little wet, slimy, screaming baby placed on me was not that pleasant.

All I could think was eww, whilst at the same time wondering what was going on down below. Whether it was the birth or the slimy baby which caught me off guard I don't know, but I'm happy for this one to be rubbed down a bit first!

dizziblonde

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

Like I said I appreciate her story, I'm sad that it happened, however sometimes I feel her posts go too far. Fair enough she has PTSD, I can wholly understand why when she says what happened, however do pregnant women really need to hear that story time and time again? It frightened me when I was on the thread with her the first time. And to jump on someone's post because of the misuse of a word? Seems unfair. Please do not mistake my posts, I completely empathise with her situation regarding her births.

Got a problem with me report the post. Otherwise tough. Apparently I'm fair pop for personal attacks on this site. Good job I'm a big girl huh who doesn't need to run to the mods huh?

And I'm not the only person who finds this whole televised birth rating thing extremely distressing, which is why I pointed it out. I'm fairly involved in the birth trauma community and in trying to make sure what happened to me doesn't happen to others and I see how distressed women get by these throwaway comments so yep I pointed it out and I'll do so again. Don't like it, report it, and make the world a happy little bubble and throw away women who were badly treated, or got unlucky with how their baby was positioned, or reacted to medication used (there's a reaction I get to one type of spinal where I shake badky- I actually wish someone HAD mentioned it so I could have known what was happening when it did).

And sorry, but I'm not going to keep quiet about what happpened to me because that's what they relied on, that people would keep silent so that women didn't put their heads together and realise it was going on to others in that hospital in question and demand something was done. Its only by speaking out that other people have very quietly said that it had happened to them and they thought they were the only one (for those who don't know, I was referred to social services for being a resistant patient when I tried to get them to note and stick to the pain free gap I could open my legs in order to reduce the risk of long term SPD damage when they were going to do a spinal to do foreceps- other issues also I have gripes with regarding my treatment and consent issues but they're meh in comparison) and I'm going to continue to do so.

Youd obviously failed to notice in the middle of your personal vendetta against me that the birth story I tend to make a point of telling is the second, fab treatment from lovely staff, 15 minute labour one. Or I dwell on the daft bits like my mother in law rocking up and annoying me so I asked her to leave. I have never posted Erin's full birth story on the birth stories thread because, well, I wouldn't be "allowed" cos of how horrific it actually is and I would get bashed to hell for doing so.

(On my tablet so half this will have been autocorrected to talk about cabbage or something)

Toothfairy4

nessie, in that case why not just write a few brief points down about what you want and put it in your notes as fluffysox says? At least that way if your in labour it wont be forgotten about?

36 weeks for me today - actually cannot believe how fast time has gone. Midwife this morning then off to the shops with DH to get a final few bits and pieces for my hospital bag, like a nighty and some big pants

36+0

kerri_dfw

Morning everyone, OH keeps leaving me to sleep in as I "obviously need it" which tbh I do, but I had hoped I'd have a Bt more energy in me for longer oh well it was nice whilst it lasted and I guess I do have a medical condition to deal with that makes me tired anyway. 25w today

Little lady is a 6:30am and a 9:30pm kicker, that covers when daddy wakes up and goes to bed.

My midwife hasn't mentioned birth plan yet, just location, although since moving I've not actually met my local midwife. I know my plan though, go to birth centre, remain as calm as possible to increase endorphins and decrease stress hormones that work against the uterus, water birth if possible, baby skin to skin, no one but OH to come to the hospital and only tell my mother when she's born so I don't get texts/calls every 5 minutes

BadlyWrittenPoem

Angelmommy wrote: »

Can anyone recommend a wrap carrier thingy? I've used one for my niece and nephew and it was awesome but sister sold it couple years back and can't remember brand. I'm hoping to bf and these were excellent for covering up when out. TIA

34+3

Do you mean a stretchy or a woven (non stretchy) wrap? Stretchy we have a kari-me and I know moby do one and I think there are a few other brands. Woven you want to make sure its a proper "German Style" Woven rather than a gauze type (gauze type is "normal" material whereas the other is a special type of weave with the "right" kind of give) - I had a gauze type with DD1 and have more recently bought good quality GSW wraps and there is no comparison in terms of comfort and the resale value is good so although there is an outlay you will get most of it back. Natural Mamas is a good place to look if you want more info on slings.

Kayalana99

Bangton wrote: »

I think we all have the common goal that we'd like the 'fantasy birth' - we'll stay cool, calm and in control. The reality could be very different but it surprises me to read that someone feels there is judgement in this area of the forum. Days ago I wrote about BF and the fact that I find it pretty gross. No one jumped or berated me at a time when actually I expected some might...

I am planning on breast feeding...I probally wouldn't of used the word gross but I am on the same level. Alot of woman like breast feeding for the bonding but for one, I am not someone who can just get my boobs out and feed the baby (not that I think its wrong for people to do this but I just personally would not be comfortable) and second with DS he used to make this grunting noise when I fed him, he wanted feeding round the clock and I was absoulty exhausted...and this noise he used to make used to annoy the hell out of me.... I can't even explain it I just didn't like being 'on demand' having this baby make animal noises at me was just making it 10 times worse. :eek: I guess I just started to hate breast feeding.

I don't miss it for the world, but I will try and breast feed as long as possible...for nothing else if not to get my body back to normal abit faster. :rotfl:

BadlyWrittenPoem

Toothfairy4 wrote: »

Totally agree Bangton, I have posted a few questions about formula feeding and was really expecting the usual 'why aren't you breastfeeding, dont you realise it's the best way?' type responses that I have seen on other forums, no one batted an eyelid. I think people on here are generally very open minded and helpful!

I figure anyone on here is likely to be intelligent enough and well enough informed to know the benefits and have made an informed choice so unless someone is asking for information (or is actually breastfeeding and needs support/encouragement) I don't feel the need to point out the risks/benefits of the different options. I did once watch a documentary about three sixteen year olds in a deprived area and when one of them was making up bottles they asked her if she'd considered breastfeeding she said that formula was powdered breastmilk so it was just the same which made me feel cross/sad on her behalf because obviously lack of proper information from her MW meant that she hadn't made an *informed* choice but I doubt that applies to anyone on here.