MSE Pregnancy Club 26

Kayalana99

Anyone worried about transverse?

I don't know what to think any more as baby is constantly moving around but does end up sideways quite alot.. 37+1 trying not to worry to much as it is still moving postions but I'm scared of going into labour whilst its like that ><

Also driving myself up wall atm. OH got an interview Monday and it went perfectly, thing is he is only 20 and the guy actally admitted he had someone with experience to interview but wasn't sure if he wanted someone to train up his own way or someone who obvouisly would be set in their ways but I highly doubt he is going to get it. Sounds like they had a real good chat more then an interview and the guy really liked him.. more like a pub banter kind of chat...lol, but cause of his age/experience its not likey he would get it they are all in their 30-40's their cept one guy who is 18 but he is on an apprenticeship.

He works mornings/afternoon/evening shifts all dif days etc and if he gets this job it will be an 8-5 M-F...he wouldn't get his 2 weeks off for patnerity and it will be really hard as Ill have a newborn and a 13month old but would be sooo worth it in long run having him home at a decent hour and when I go back to work I dont work weekends either and its 8-5 so would fit in perfectly.

Really trying not to get my hopes up but its so hard...would be so good for our little family all round...and he gets his own desk he can put a picture of us up

Toothfairy4

Hope he gets it Kayalana, sounds like it would be great for you all.

Well, only one more day of work for me. Off tomorrow then last day on Friday. So glad I have decided to finish at this point. Not sleeping very well and my hips hurt loads! The 20 minute walk up a steep hill from work to the train station everyday is killing me. Looking forward to 6 months of not having to do it!

35+6

fluffysox

Growth scan and appts at antenatal with doc and midwife today.
Baby measuring average apart from a big head :O and position is good.
So the plan is to have sweeps twice a week from 38 weeks and if that doesn't work I have an appt at hospital at 40 weeks (40+1 to be exact) to try and break my waters. They said they may try the drip but only on a low dose. If that doesn't work they will book a caesarian.
Not looking forward all those sweeps. So quite a complicated plan but hopefully will maximise chance of normal delivery.
Meanwhile my aunt who looked after DS this morning tells me I just need to get DH to "do what put it in there" lol- the message has been passed on to him. He'd never turn down an invite but I know from last time its the last thing I want at the end when huge and uncomfortable. Still gotta be better than sweeps? So will try...
In the meantime, busy nesting, house is getting decluttered and made more cosy. Still need to pack hospital bag. And will have to get out moses basket and pram soon.
DS seems unwell again- so I am typing on my phone with left hand while he lies on my right arm watching Peppa Pig on DVD ....AGAIN groan!
36+1

BadlyWrittenPoem

dizziblonde wrote: »

Is there any need to describe a woman who is scared and in pain as "awful"? Sorry but that's really nasty judgemental language to use - I guess my first time around I must have been "awful" too.

I was absolutely terrified. I'd gone in to be checked out, still thinking I had a couple of months to go and expecting to be in a couple of hours max before being given the OK and sent home. Everything snowballed into realising I was going to deliver prematurely, having neo-natal doctors brought in to discuss what was going to happen with a 33 week gestation birth and prognosis, and one awful night in increasing amounts of pain where the reality of it slowly snowballed that this was what was going on. Add in three hours of being left in pain being pratted about with pain relief and appallingly treated by some very uncaring staff and yes, by the time they started shouting at me and threatening me about forceps and ignoring my desperate pleas for them to note how far I could move my legs without my SPD kicking in... and yes, I was in a world beyond panic and well into utter utter terror. I'd estimate that about 75% of why I was in such terror was down to how I'd been treated by the staff, and about a manageable 25% down to the actual birth thing though.

It hurts beyond belief every single time I see someone laying into a woman who has given birth on the TV in a none "approved" way. To see it described as awful is just... well... it's disgusting language to use. Women who are traumatised by it spend a heck of a lot of time thinking of themselves as some kind of failures anyway - and for the living room birth jury to sit there and somehow blame and label them just adds to the pain.

Although in your case there are additional things which contributed such as it being a sudden premature birth, your description illustrates why I am always horrified when people say their birth plan is that the medical staff should just do whatever they want an the basis that they will "know best".

I think another factor (aside from hospital staff behaviour) which contributes to women being traumatised is the cultural attitude that "as long as the baby is alive it doesn't matter what happened to the mother" which means that when people do have a bad experience society is sending them the message that it is unimportant and that their feelings about it are invalid. It always baffles me that this is so different from the "happy baby, happy mother" mantra about formula feeding as a bad birth experience which has adverse emotional and/or physical after effects on the mother is surely just as important to avoid as having a stressed out mother who feels forced into breastfeeding when it is not working out.

BadlyWrittenPoem

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

Dizzi - you did this on the other thread, not approving of a term used in someone's post. Wasn't it something to do with "palming children off"?

You can clearly see that this is a very informal thread where people type how they feel in a chatty way. Not everyone self censers when writing on here, and nor should they.

Sometimes I feel like you write your posts to give people negative views on the birth process. I appreciate yours were traumatic, heart breaking and very difficult but I've read your posts time and time again and sometimes are quite negative.

Please don't lecture people on the use of language on here, it isn't a personal attack on you, so stop treating it a such!

True enough - it wasn't intended as a personal attack and dizzi obviously feels it as if it was and as you say has done so on other occasions. However, since you know her from the other thread and she is very open about it, you should also be aware that she has PTSD from her first birth which means that while her reaction may seem excessive, it is fairly understandable and unsurprising given her circumstances. Someone with PTSD needs people to be supportive and understanding of their symptoms and perhaps when appropriate gently point out when they have an extreme reaction to something - not lectures on how they should behave.

fluffysox

ani
It is normal to feel less dramatic movements late on as baby has less room

clearing_out_my_pockets

I actually mentioned The Midwives at my last midwife appointment because I was concerned about both the number of people shown labouring flat on their backs as well as the lack of skin to skin. I've been reassured that my hospital puts a lot of emphasis on skin to skin (although I kind of knew that from parentcraft classes) and they tilt the beds. Phew!

Kayalana99

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

You can clearly see that this is a very informal thread where people type how they feel in a chatty way. Not everyone self censers when writing on here, and nor should they.

Well I hope we can just drop this anyway as one thing I love about this thread is we can post anything without anyone judging us ... a good percent of the things we post on here if they went into a seperate thread on the marriage/relationships board would be met with so much negative comments yet it feels to me (and I bet to most of you) we have abit of a safe haven here... which I think Mrs was attempting to get at that we don't usally have that negative reaction in here.

Kayalana99

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

I actually mentioned The Midwives at my last midwife appointment because I was concerned about both the number of people shown labouring flat on their backs as well as the lack of skin to skin. I've been reassured that my hospital puts a lot of emphasis on skin to skin (although I kind of knew that from parentcraft classes) and they tilt the beds. Phew!

That must depend on the hosptial I think, I didn't even have a bed it was some weird long sofa thing...I got moved to a bed when the babys heart beat dropped but that one didn't 'tilt' either and was actally kind of half a bed...

I also had a tv without a remote control so spent about 3-4hours with baby asleep and OH asleep either side of me and watching tele shopping....Never expected to be bored just after having the baby!

Flower08

Have to say I can see it obviously wasn't a personal attack, however a lot of the reasons I dont post that much on this thread is because there seems to be a lot of judgement made about the 'correct' way to give birth.

Some women want pain relief.
Some women do not care for a midwife led unit and want to be in the security of a hospital.
Some women dont care about how 'natural' the birth is as long as their baby is born healthy.
And some are simply in too much pain to be up and about moving.

That doesn't make them bad people or mean they are doing things the wrong way.

With DS I was terrified giving birth and was probably one of those 'awful' women (although I wasn't quite as scared as the woman on midwives programme), I was threatened with forceps and C-sections which scared me half to death.
I hope this time that I will manage to stay a bit calmer and manage the pain better, but if I dont that doesn't make me a bad person.

We should all be supporting each other on this thread no matter how we chose to give birth or what pain relief we chose to take.