Bay 3 months chucked into FULL time nursery

onlyroz

In an ideal world I guess I would have liked to take off around 9-months to a year when my kids were little - but living on SMP just wasn't feasible considering the size of our mortgage and so I went back to work after 6 months putting the kids into full-time nursery.

One thing that I have noticed is that most of my (predominantly male) colleagues appear to have wives that work in part-time or school-oriented roles on relatively low salaries. But in my family, where we have two full time earners on decent salaries, we are able to go on far better holidays than my equally well-paid colleagues.

There are many benefits in continuing to pursue your career while bringing up your children. Obviously there are the financial benefits of two salaries coming in, which will enable you to provide a good lifestyle for your family. But you also show your children what a bit of hard work can accomplish, and you should also have a wider breadth of knowledge to impart when it comes to assisting with homework assignments, or helping with career decisions etc etc.

geoffky

My wife's friend owns a nursery and the amount of parents who put their child in the nursery during annual holidays they take...
Why have kids if you are going to dump them and not bring them up?

Having things does not make you happy... Going shopping and buying stuff that you think will make you happy...How mad is that?
Take time out for kids, the crap you do not need can wait...

Have a look in the mirror here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8ZIqIutK7o&list=PLzWCcCALiBuR5BkYuEOPgPGzFw5qLl33C

mountainofdebt

thorsoak wrote: »

Sorry Trevorsminted, but you are now coming over as a smug, self-satisfied mysogynistic old git! You show no respect to your wife - who is called "the missus" in your posts and smugness just oozes out of your posts - I hope that should adversity smack you around your smug little chops that you learn a little humility.

only now thorsoak?

catkins

I've often wondered why people bother having children then having a nursery look after them all day also people who send their children to boarding school - why?

I spend more time with my dog than a lot of people spend with their children. All the stories of children who are still in nappies when starting school, can't use a knife and fork, don't know any letters or numbers when they start school etc - all parents that don't spend enough time with their children

Gigglepig

trevorsminted wrote: »

our choice when deciding to have kids was to actually see them on a regular basis!

You said you did not take paternity leave. Your choice was for your wife to stay with them.
You only saw them outside working hours. So why is that not enough if a working mum sees her children outside working hrs? Maybe she's doesn't have the option of offloading all childcare on a stay at home wife...


By the way Catkins, some of the best and brightest in this country have been educated in boarding school...

julie2710

geoffky wrote: »

My wife's friend owns a nursery and the amount of parents who put their child in the nursery during annual holidays they take...
Why have kids if you are going to dump them and not bring them up?

One point worth remembering here is that most nurseries don't just charge for the sessions you use. Once your child has got a place at the nursery they charge you for the full year minus bank holidays and most will take off two weeks as holiday time. The fees for the remaining days are then just divisible either by terms or months and billed to the parents. This means if you take your children out of nursery for five weeks a year you are paying for the nursery time for three of those weeks.

That has certainly been the experience I have had of nurseries where I live. It's not a view I share but some people may feel they have paid for it so they might as well use it.

If I am totally honest I have taken the odd day of holiday and kept my children in their childcare as it has allowed me to get things done, like paint the garden fence or decorate without the children being around and then it leaves my weekend free to enjoy time with them without having to worry about it! If that makes me an awful parent then I'll have to live with it, although I'm sure my boys enjoy doing things together at weekends rather than having to entertain themselves whilst I get on with household maintenance.

Gigglepig

Carl31 wrote: »

I'm not being cynical, I just struggle with the concept of having a child but not wanting to be a parent, where this applies, again I know the full time child care thing has its place

You mean by not being a parent your way. There are many ways of successfully parenting and bringing up children, not just your way.

balletshoes

catkins wrote: »

I've often wondered why people bother having children then having a nursery look after them all day also people who send their children to boarding school - why?

I spend more time with my dog than a lot of people spend with their children.
All the stories of children who are still in nappies when starting school, can't use a knife and fork, don't know any letters or numbers when they start school etc - all parents that don't spend enough time with their children

in my experience, its the children who do go to childcare who are taught these things earlier - because, for example, some nurseries won't take 3-year olds who are not out of nappies etc. Nursery school from age 3 and up, in my experience, has letter and number lessons, as well as structured and free play, the kids sit at tables and are expected to use basic table manners at lunch etc.

Just because a child is in childcare doesn't mean their parents don't get involved in their social education - I toilet-trained my daughter, nursery didn't, I taught her to sleep through, I taught her table manners, I helped her to love books, I encouraged her to try new things that she showed an interest in etc.

Miss_Poohs

I work in a local authority nursery, for children aged 3-5. I'd say the majority of the parents at my nursery don't work either through choice, unemployment or other personal/social circumstances; what does shock me is the amount of unemployed parents who come in and ask for extra childcare over and above the gov min, which I think is a completely different story.

Why on earth would you want your child at nursery all day when you don't work?

For those parents with very young babies that have to work full time, I only hope they get to enjoy their children at home, it's a huge sacrifice.

julie2710

catkins wrote: »

All the stories of children who are still in nappies when starting school, can't use a knife and fork, don't know any letters or numbers when they start school etc - all parents that don't spend enough time with their children

What's enough time? Some stay at home mums sit their children in front of the TV all day. Is that spending enough time with them?

Although I work full time, I spend time in the evenings helping DS1 with his homework. When he had his five year check, at four and a half, with the health visitor he got bored of her asking him what colour pencils were and told her the questions were too easy. She jokingly said she was going to ask him something in French, so the next time he passed her a pencil and she asked him what colour it was he replied "bleu, that's blue in French!" :rotfl:

DS2 is now 4 and can write his name, recognise all the letters in the alphabet, count to 50 and write his numbers, read basic words, dog, cat etc and speak basic French.

They can both swim and both do ballet and play football. DS1 has just gained a part in the chorus line for Joseph at 7 years of age.

Oh and they were both potty trained by the age of two and a half! So I'm guessing that it is quality over quantity after all?