Don't know what to do!

Mojisola

paulineb wrote: »

People who are RC do use contraception and also some people who are RC sleep together before marriage.

But only if they go against their church's teachings.

paulineb_2

Mojisola wrote: »

But only if they go against their church's teachings.

But thats the point Im making, lots of people who are Catholic dont follow their religion to the letter. Or every Catholic family would have large numbers of kids and they certainly dont.

It might be assumed that they do, but a lot of people dont.
My friend and his gf have been living together for 15 years and are about to get married, hes almost 40 and shes a few years younger, his family have no concern that they have been living together and not married.

A friend of mine was married in the local chapel, she was RC and so was her partner. They didnt live together before marriage but they were certainly sleeping together.

Some people might follow their religion to the very last detail, others wont. And if this is an excuse for not letting his parents know about the baby I think its a pretty poor one, because at some point the baby is going to be here and people are going to know that the couple are living together.

The OP did say that they werent practising their religion as far as she was concerned anyway.

Confused01

Again, him seeing his family on the weekend really doesn't bother me, and yes his sister and younger brother stay there as they don't live in the area like the other two brothers do. I will point out it's not every weekend, he does come with me to my dads too and we don't stay over when he does.

It might be odd to some but, that's the way things are with our families. My extended family (cousins and such) have a family get together once a month, where we all go and catch up. We're just a very close family.

As for the religion aspect, neither my family or his actively practice it in anyway.

He is also involved with my family activities, if we go somewhere for the day, or their's a party for something, he'll come with us.

Confused01

poet123 wrote: »

Something is not quite right.

Could it be that his family interfered in past relationships and caused friction and he wants to avoid that. There are some mothers who see grandchildren as the zenith and would be intrusive. To me that is probably the best case scenario.

OP from what he has told you of past relationships could that be the case?

Whatever it is there is definitely something, and something that requires addressing head on sooner rather than later.

His family didn't get on too well with his last girlfriend (confirmed by the friends of his I've met) he's never gone into any real detail, other than there was some hostility on both sides.

paulineb_2

Confused01 wrote: »

Again, him seeing his family on the weekend really doesn't bother me, and yes his sister and younger brother stay there as they don't live in the area like the other two brothers do. I will point out it's not every weekend, he does come with me to my dads too and we don't stay over when he does.

It might be odd to some but, that's the way things are with our families. My extended family (cousins and such) have a family get together once a month, where we all go and catch up. We're just a very close family.

As for the religion aspect, neither my family or his actively practice it in anyway.

He is also involved with my family activities, if we go somewhere for the day, or their's a party for something, he'll come with us.

But you arent involved with his family and thats the the difference.

Hes excluding you from his visits to his family.

Person_one

Do you ever spend a Saturday together? Just the two of you?

Will you be as ok with him going to his family every weekend if he's either leaving you behind with a baby/toddler or leaving you behind and taking the baby/toddler with him? How are you expecting things will be after the baby's born?

I'm sorry if its been hard to read all these posts, but something is very rotten in the state of Denmark I'm afraid, and getting everything out in the open and having a plan, whatever it may be, is now urgent.

Confused01

Yes we've had Friday and Saturday nights together, where we just lounge around watching movies and stuff, or go out for a drink (before the pregnancy), he's also taken me out for dinner a lot, so we do spend time where it's just us.

If he wants to go for Sunday dinner with his family when the baby is born he can, staying over, no. I don't intend to stay over with my family either.

One of the key factors in wanting to find a new place, is not just space for the baby but because he want's it to be our place, and not just feel like it's my home, which he currently does with the place we live in.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

How does he know she wouldn't leave you alone? Has one of his girlfriends been pregnant before?

SavingPennies_2

But soon you will be your own family - the three of you.

Surely he wont still be spending the weekends with his parents without you then?

Edit: just seen your previous post which answers the questions.

Person_one

Confused01 wrote: »

Yes we've had Friday and Saturday nights together, where we just lounge around watching movies and stuff, or go out for a drink (before the pregnancy), he's also taken me out for dinner a lot, so we do spend time where it's just us.

You're not the only one who's confused now OP! Earlier you said he leaves for work on Friday mornings and comes home Sunday evening.

What are you thinking now? What are your plans for when you speak to him? What are going to tell him and what are you going to ask him?