Am I being over sensitive?

elisebutt65

Ruby_woo wrote: »

When it was her birthday last sept I bought her a Pandora charm and other girly bits etc and dh gave her 5 free driving lessons and said all of her other lessons with him ( he is qualified driv ins) would just be a nominal amount for her to pay to cover the fuel. She seemed very pleased with her presents and her driving lessons are coming on well. Driving test next month.
xx

Crikey! I bought my DS's gf a T-shirt for her birthday!! That must have cost you hundreds!!! I really would cut back on the pressie budget, especially as she's so ungrateful.

peachyprice

I have to say, I'm like balletshoes, cards don't really bother me, MIL gets all upset about cards and sulks for weeks on end if you don't remember, which just makes me 'forget' all the more, she's too old to have tantrums

Ruby_woo wrote: »

On Friday when she got here late as she had been to Alton towers with friends, I had played her meal up and kept it warm so she could eat when she arrived which was gone 9pm but I didnt even get a thankyou!

Why would you do this? It's not as if she was out with your son, sorry, but no way would I be keeping dinner for a visitor. Perhaps stop with unnecessary niceties like this and she might stop to think what's missing. At the moment it all seems to be you giving and her taking, but you are enabling her to be selfish by still treating her like a princess while she's giving nothing in return.

Of course she's going to prefer it at yours where she doesn't have to lift a finger rather than at home where she's expected to do chores, I bet she's like a pig in clover at the thought of living an easy life.

mishmogs

I would be a bit upset too. I can sort of agree with all the responses so far but I feel a card and a small gift should have been the order of the day. Maybe you are being too nice and accommodating. How about taking a step back and see how it all pans out. After all, they are both young and she may see the grass is greener (and all that) and whilst you are all doing the giving, she is going to carry on taking! It was once explained to me 'family is family'!

miss_independent

Oh my goodness Ruby Woo, how nice do you sound?!

IMHO I don't think you are in the wrong at all to feel how you feel. She is so lucky that you are the way you are.

I'd agree with others on a few things. A) she sounds like a taker and she maybe hasn't been taught how to behave.

I didn't learn until I was about 12 or 13 that you should offer to clear up after dinner and ask if the people who invited you need help with washing up. I learned from a friend who did this when she came round for dinner to our house and I instantly felt embarrassed that I hadn't offered any help at her house. I'd just never been told this was something I should do and it never occurred to me. Maybe this girl is waited on hand and foot and has never had to do chores or lift a finger. She is still young and quite alot of teenagers do think the world revolves around them. Me personally though, at 17 would have been concerned my BF's Mum thought I was a lazy cow.

If she knew about birthdays then she should definitely have got you at least a card. And there is no excuse about Christmas. I can't believe that she wouldn't try in some small way to repay your kindness and show that you are appreciated.

If I were you...I'd start asking for help when you need it. I.e "X would you mind helping me set up the table?" or whatever.

My sil was always like that. Her Mum had never been that nice and she had learned from a young age to take everything you get and don't give anything back. Sadly she never got any better. Like you, my Mum is lovely, kind and generous. She used my sil's example to teach me, from a young age, how NOT to treat your future husband's family!

shays_mum

Cor that's ungratefulness for you & she is not even a member of the family!. I would mention it in passing to my son maybe, hope she is treating him nicer!
Belated happy birthday op *hugs*

Noctu

Did your son get you a birthday card? & did he put both their names on it?

Idiophreak

Ruby_woo wrote: »

Thanks arty, I did tell me son how I felt last night and of course it ended up in a row...

Out of interest, what was his explanation for why she didn't get you a present/card?

Quite shocked that she didn't say thank you for keeping dinner for her. In future, I'd just say "it's polite to say thank you" or something like that. To be honest, it would probably shock her into watching her manners more in future.

Orlando_Virgin

Ruby_woo wrote: »

I'm trying to reply to everyone but don't know how to do the quote bit and reply.

Another example is that if I'm shopping and I see face wipes on offer I get them and send them over but maybe I'm doing too much. She does say thank you if I ask her if she got them if I have sent them with ds but just doesn't come forward with thanks.

Xx

Are you available to be my 2nd Mum?

miss_independent

Ruby_woo wrote: »

I'm trying to reply to everyone but don't know how to do the quote bit and reply.

Another example is that if I'm shopping and I see face wipes on offer I get them and send them over but maybe I'm doing too much. She does say thank you if I ask her if she got them if I have sent them with ds but just doesn't come forward with thanks.

Xx

I'm beginning to think you actually are my Mum!

I really think you should stop doing these nice things now Ruby. If she isn't grateful....then she won't miss them will she :A.

Idiophreak

Ruby_woo wrote: »

I'm trying to reply to everyone but don't know how to do the quote bit and reply.

If you just press the "quote" button, it will let you do a reply like this. If you want to reply to more than one, you can use the multiquote button (little speech marks next to the quote button) to select a couple then hit "quote" and it will append them all together.