please delete

kelpie35

I guess the troll has been sent to bed so he /she is able to get up for school tomorrow.

MarilynMonroe_2

IMO you should pack your bags and find somewhere else to stay, on your way out tell your wife and then give her breathing room to decide what she wants to do, whether she wants to forgive you or not, try again or not.
It's not a marriage if you don't clean about it its a sham.

waccoe_2

I have a thread on here entitled "Affair, can't forget".
Your circumstances are far worse than mine, but my wife told me 6 years ago that she had an affair 10 years ago. We are still together, but I think about it everyday and it has damaged our relationship and I am not sure it can be mended although I have just started going to counselling.
I am not going to advise you what to do as I still don't know that I have handled my situation in the best way.
I just wish she had never told me.

FBaby

Carl31 wrote: »

Youve never got drunk and done something stupid?

Ive not cheated on my wife, but thanks to nights on the juice have ended up in some questionable situations, with ladies i would never look at twice when sober, when i was single

Ever heard of beer goggles? There are some ladies who would probably never have sex if alcohol was banned

So when you were single, you were too drunk to hold back, but in a relationship, you are able to not cross the line. So clearly there is something that no matter how drunk you are makes you not go where you shouldn't go.

Many married people get very very drunk, and yet most manage to never cross that line. If you don't trust what you might do getting that drunk (because you have done very stupid things in the past), then you should know better not to do it in the first place.

samtoby

I am the other side of finding out that every man and his dog knew my ex cheated on me while he was out and no one ever told me.

People used to deny seeing him out when he told me he had seen a neighbour etc - even when he told me for work he was going to Scotland but he stayed at a girls house from the internet and then she rang our landline for some reason and said it was about an ebay purchase!

My trust is very delicate and it has taken 7 years to be able to trust my current partner. He has restored my belief in trust and I love him dearly. He has done everything to make sure myself and my little boy are happy and I just wish I met him years ago!

I think you knew what to do when you wrote your opening message. You just don't want to admit this to yourself.

samtoby

Just like your vows said you were promising yourself to one woman they say that you will always be honest. Remember that.

Pixiechic

magneto1st wrote: »

I have done something so awful and disgusting i don't know what to do.

My wife had our second child only 4 weeks ago and last night me and her sister were drinking all day and night, went to the pub afterwards and ended up having sex.

I don't fancy her sister and never have and to be honest she is quite annoying most of the time and she was annoying me in the pub last night.

The point is i don't know what to do now i know i am a disgusting human being for breaking my marriage vows and hurting my wife and i feel so awful that i have ruined our family that i just feel like dying.

Me and the SIL both said we would forgot it and pretend it never happened which i believe as i had to nip round her house before with our eldest and we just spoke normal and she cant even remember being annoying in the pub doing stupid things.

Should i confess to my wife and break her heart and ruin our little family and destroy our childrens lives or should i try to forgot about it and work to be the best i can. My SIL also has a five year old girl and is single.

i have never even looked at another woman before or contemplated cheating on my wife ever and no i would not do it again and we have had seven happy years together and two beautiful children, you may not believe me but i adore my wife and am in tears as i write this.

I feel so worthless and sick that i have done this i just don't know what to do

I can't believe that people are advising to keep the above original post, quiet. That, to me is the ultimate betrayal. His wife has a right to know and to decide for herself.

Eventually, when she does find it, when she realises how long she has been deceived, it will hurt her even more.

LannieDuck

I really, really hope this is a troll. What an awful thing to do to your wife when she's just given birth to your second child.

tea_lover

We should start running a sweepstake on how long it takes for the OP to delete their posts when someone suggests they might be a troll.

thorsoak

The first post (which the OP) has now deleted, filled with with disgust - he and his sister in law get drunk, fall into a drunken fumble which leads to the beast with two backs ...and then he is filled with remorse and crys "I can't do this" ....And now he wants forgiveness??

Pull the other one - its got bells on! Someone who drinks so much that they do this will do it again - and again - and again - WHILST THEY CONTINUE TO DRINK TOO MUCH.

OP - if you are still reading - my advice to you and your SIL - who is equally guilty - is to tell your wife what happened - and let her decide what should happen in your marriage. Far better now, than in 3, 5 or 7 years' time when all of a sudden one of the two of you has too much to drink (again)/feels oh so guilty - and it all comes out.

Your wife has a right to know, to decide whether she can forgive you -both - and to know why you are not/should not drinking.