please delete

tayforth

I agree with those who say that your wife deserves to know.

Nobody knows how she will react. I imagine that she is already feeling hormonal, emotionally vulnerable and exhausted with a new baby to look after, plus another young child vying for her attention.


After hearing this, she might not want to be your wife any more. But she deserves to know and to be able to make an informed decision about whether to continue with your marriage.


If she does give you another chance, at least you will have been honest with her and you can both move forward.


If not, then I'm sorry but you only have yourself to blame. I don't mean to sound harsh, as you clearly are remorseful. But that doesn't change the facts. Your wife is the innocent party in all of this. My heart goes out to her.


You should also get yourself tested for STIs.


As for her sister, words fail me. What kind of woman would sleep with her sister's husband???



And why on earth were you out drinking all day with a newborn baby at home?

monty-doggy

If she does forgive you, in time you may end up stronger?

Pixiechic

Your marriage will mean nothing if you don't tell her.

If her sister tells her first, the your wife will never know if you would have ever been honest.

Will you go out drinking all day with the sister again?

kittiej

Do not whatever you do have sex with your wife until you have been to the GUM clinic (don't know if they are called sumat else these days?) Your wife doesn't deserve a dose of something on top of your infidelity.

Clearly the overwhelming feelings for your wife and family weren't enough for you to keep it in your trousers eh?

Disgusting.

Your poor wife has recently given birth to your child, it will be an extremely tall ask for her to forgive you.

If you were my husband a Bobbett trim would be the least of your worries!

anderson8

I know I couldn't keep that lie forever, the guilt would just eat away at me. You will also have the thought that her sister might blab, maybe not to her sister but to someone else, you say she wouldn't but could you be 100% if say for instance she had a fall our with her sister in years to come.

I'm due our second child in a few weeks and I can honestly say I would rather my husband told me. I wouldn't stay married to him and it would devastate me but I would rather that than live a lie.

Tiglath

If you were out drinking all day and night, where did your wife think you were?

FBaby

Ok, I'm going to come across as very naive, but how does it come to this?

For one, how did you end up drinking all day with her sister? Her sister alone, no-one else there from morning to evening? Why?

Then you are having normal drunken conversation and somehow, it lead to you two doing it? Where? In the toilet, car, her home? If so, how does the conversation goes from innocent talking about the weather to 'why don't we get into the toilet/car/my place and do it?

And if you are so utterly drunk, both of you, that you can do the unthinkable, how did you manage to get there AND actually do the deed?

Sorry but I just can't understand how no matter how drunk you are, you would end up sleeping with someone you are not at all attracted to, who is a close family member if you truly absolutely wouldn't do it if you were sober? Surely you wouldn't do it with your own sister, so why your wife's?

gingin_2

I know it doesn't give you an answer, I don't know what to think but you did use a condom with the sister, didn't you?

SuzieSue

marisco wrote: »

.

Yet on many public forums like this there are always people telling those perpetrating these farces to their partners to stay quiet. That speaks volumes to me about peoples lack of any morals and values or any intent to behave with integrity.

No-one is condoning what the OP has done and hopefully, no-one here would do the same. That doesn't mean that people don't understand that anyone (even you) can make a mistake.

If he is decent, he will be punished for this mistake for the rest of his life. What is the point in punishing his innocent wife as well? I think that if he tells her he is actually taking the coward's way out as he no longer has to live with the guilt.

SuzieSue

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I was purely thinking about what's best for the wife right now. I understand that everyone wants to see the OP punished & not get away with what he's done but its going to crush his wife and completely ruin her time with the new baby.

Exactly, she is the innocent party in all this. From what the OP says she has done nothing to deserve his disgusting behaviour.