please delete

marisco_2

I will probably get flamed for saying this but in my opinion you should tell your wife as soon as possible that you betrayed her and slept with her sister. To keep this from her would be a complete abuse of her trust and to treat her with utter contempt. Are you and your SIL really planning to pretend as if nothing has happened and let your wife and children carry on having a loving relationship with you both? Can you not see how wrong that would be?

Staying quiet screams of self interest and means your wife would inadvertently be in a farce of a relationship, based on lies. Something I am quite sure she would not choose to do if she were in possession of the facts. Being honest with her lets her decide whether she wants to continue to be in a relationship with you and to maintain contact with her sister or not.

Do you really think that a woman who would sleep with her sisters husband cares for or thinks of anyone else but herself? The likelihood of her keeping all this quiet long term is remote. Far better that your wife learns of this now from you, rather than discovers what has gone on behind her back further down the line. Allow her to maintain some of her dignity at least.

This admission will devastate her and could well blow your family apart. I feel very sorry for your wife and your children. Was your drunken bunk up worth all the pain they are going to go through?

SuzieSue

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I know I'll be in the minority but I don't think you should tell her.

You did a really stupid thing (as you know) and you can't undo it but I think telling her would be unbelievably cruel. Sometimes, just sometimes, honesty isn't the always the best policy.

I agree with this. If you tell her then your marriage will be over. You have just made the biggest mistake of your life. If it didn't mean anything, then you just have to forget it and ensure that you never do anything like this again.

If what you did was a genuine mistake (and who can say that they haven't made a mistake in their lives) then there is no point in telling her. If you were my husband then I wouldn't want to know unless there was a chance that you would do it again or if you had put me in danger of an STI. You need to get yourself tested and if you the test is positive then you need to tell your wife.

monty-doggy

The truth always comes out in the end!

SuzieSue

monty-doggy wrote: »

The truth always comes out in the end!

Not always. How many people have unwittingly brought up other people's children without knowing? It goes on all the time and most people don't know.

magneto1st

no it was not worth it marisco, i have made the biggest mistake of my life and ruined the future happiness of my wife and beautiful children, i am so wracked with guilt and yes it is my own fault and i feel i am going to have to tell her as i cant imagine hiding this dirty secret for the rest of our marriage

SuzieSue

monty-doggy wrote: »

The truth always comes out in the end!

It only does in soaps as they need the scandal to make their storyline exciting. It is much rarer in real life.

SuzieSue

magneto1st wrote: »

no it was not worth it marisco, i have made the biggest mistake of my life and ruined the future happiness of my wife and beautiful children, i am so wracked with guilt and yes it is my own fault and i feel i am going to have to tell her as i cant imagine hiding this dirty secret for the rest of our marriage

If you can't live with the secret then you will have to tell her. But your marriage, as you know it, will be over.

Everyone makes mistakes, although yours is bigger than most.

Molly41

Why did you spend all day etc drinking when you have a newborn at home? So selfish in every way.

marisco_2

SuzieSue wrote: »

Not always. How many people have unwittingly brought up other people's children without knowing? It goes on all the time and most people don't know.

I don't doubt that there are many people out there completely unaware of the truth of the relationships they are in. Even worse many men investing all their love, time and energy into raising children that they don't realise are not theirs. A truly sorry and sad state of affairs.

Yet on many public forums like this there are always people telling those perpetrating these farces to their partners to stay quiet. That speaks volumes to me about peoples lack of any morals and values or any intent to behave with integrity.

Cloudydaze

marisco wrote: »

Yet on many public forums like this there are always people telling those perpetrating these farces to their partners to stay quiet. That speaks volumes to me about peoples lack of any morals and values or any intent to behave with integrity.

I was purely thinking about what's best for the wife right now. I understand that everyone wants to see the OP punished & not get away with what he's done but its going to crush his wife and completely ruin her time with the new baby.