please delete

magneto1st

...........

monty-doggy

If you don't come clean your SIL will have this over you for the rest of your life, she will have your future happiness in the palm of her hand.

I'd say come clean and face the consequences of your actions.

I'm sorry if this is harsh but alcohol isn't a justification.

Pixiechic

Wow, cheated on your wife, four weeks after your second child's birth, with her sister :eek:

I don't know what to say, except that you can't lie yourself out of this.

magneto1st

i dont want to lie myself out of it i just can't face telling her because i am a coward and i just can't face her being heartbroken and so upset. i know being drunk is not an excuse and i honestly don't know why i did it as the thought has never crossed my mind before.

The SIL would never tell as she has got just as much to lose, i wish i could just forget this has ever happened

monty-doggy

Her sister is equally to blame. If were her, I'd want you both to come clean. And then get out of my life.

magneto1st

i cant lose my family i adore my kids and wife, i know that is hard to believe after what i have done but i cannot lose my family

Gigglepig

I would be honest and tell it as it is. You did something awful but it seems it was out of character and that you are truly remorseful, so maybe she will forgive you. I would ask her to please come to couple's counselling to get professional help to try to work through it, if/when she is ready to. But be prepared that she might ot forgive you and/or that it could take a long time!

Do you need to also think about drinking habits - if you are not your best when drinking, perhaps it may be a good idea to stop? Potentially seek help to cut down?

monty-doggy

Again sounds hard but if you are posting on here wanting us all to justify it and say oh ok then, keep it from her, you're in for a surprise. I'm sure most women would rather a truth that hurts than a lie.

If she ever found out any other way I would hurt ten times worse.

Gigglepig suggestions are excellent advice.
If she feels its worth fighting for, she will.

magneto1st

that was the first time i had a drink yesterday for about 3 months as i do a lot of gym work so i am not even a regular drinker

Tropez

I don't really see the point in telling us this.

You're making excuses, you're talking from an entirely selfish position ("I can't lose my family") and quite clearly you've decided not to tell her, no matter how much guilt you feel.

There's not much anyone here can tell you. You screwed up. Lie, don't lie, your call but if you lie and she finds out about it, I feel sorry for her realising just how long she's spent being made a fool of.

Cloudydaze

I know I'll be in the minority but I don't think you should tell her.

You did a really stupid thing (as you know) and you can't undo it but I think telling her would be unbelievably cruel and spoil the precious moments with a newborn. Sometimes, just sometimes, honesty isn't the always the best policy.