DS GF staying over.... advice.

glitter_fairy

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Come on - more uncomfortable than letting her walk home on her own?

I never said she had to walk home alone.

It is making his mum uncomfortable though, My parents did not allow boyfriends/girlfriends to stay over nor did any of my friends parents. It didnt do any of us any harm.

lolavix

glitter_fairy wrote: »

Its not just about sex, its about being respectful enough to your parents not to ask them to allow something they feel uncomfortable with

Really? Poor girl obviously lives miles away!

OP let her stay. Don't alienate your son. My mum never let people stay and I ended up being an absolute year away just to go against what I knew my mum wanted! You've said yourself he's a sensible lad so just trust him to do the right thing.

balletshoes

glitter_fairy wrote: »

Its not just about sex, its about being respectful enough to your parents not to ask them to allow something they feel uncomfortable with

if kids never ask, how do they know what their parents will be uncomfortable with? I don't think the son has done anything wrong at all in asking. And of course the OP can make the rules in her house, I don't think anyone is saying anything different?

Ich_2

Hmm or is it a case of mum not wanting to lose her eldest son to another woman?

Mojisola

glitter_fairy wrote: »

It is making his mum uncomfortable though, My parents did not allow boyfriends/girlfriends to stay over nor did any of my friends parents. It didnt do any of us any harm.

My Mum said that was she following what her Mum did and encouraged our friends to visit and stay. Gran always said it's better to get to know who your children are going around with.

System

I see nothing wrong with your son kipping on the sofa and letting her sleep in his room. I doubt (if he is as religious as yourself) they would engage in any shenanigans, the fact he's said he'll sleep on the sofa kind of demonstrates that.

I appriciate your house your rules, my parents always insisted my bf's and i sleep in seperate rooms, even in one case where i had been with him 3 years and LIVED with him, but they still made us sleep in different rooms and i always respected that.

I think maybe you need to have a little leeway with your son and his gf.

miss_independent

Ok, I grew up in a very religious household with my family not believing in sex before marriage. Any unmarried couple within the family who came to stay would be asked politely to sleep in separate rooms. My brother and sil were engaged for many years, lived together and yet when they visited us, he would sleep in the spare room and she slept in the twin bed in my room. Religion doesn't forbid overnight guests!

If this was your daughter would you not be concerned that she got home safely? She is a young girl, you can ensure she has a safe place to stay and take steps to make it unlikely that they have sex.

As a teenager, I was invited to stay at mixed sleepovers at boys houses. My parents were confident I had been given all the knowledge regarding our religion and sex as they could and trusted me enough to go. At the time, I shared their views on saving sex for marriage and ultimately, I decided not to go. Just try and trust your son.

You aren't enabling him to commit a sin. Think of it more as being a good samaritan?

geoffky

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

In my house, the rule is "no sex on the premises without a license."

But that wouldn: they're nice lads (and she's a nice girl) so unlikely to get up to anything.]



Only non nice boys and girls have sex ?:cool:

Savvy_Sue

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

In my house, the rule is "no sex on the premises without a license."

But that wouldn:t they're nice lads (and she's a nice girl) so unlikely to get up to anything.

geoffky wrote: »

Only non nice boys and girls have sex ?:cool:

:rotfl: No ... but I felt that particular group were unlikely to have an orgy in the tent, or pressurise each other to do anything I'd have been unhappy about.

Goldiegirl

Ich wrote: »

So what do your beliefs say about helping others and hospitality?
You seem happy to ignore those parts of the religious world.

I can't help but think that your reasons for not wanting her to stay are nothing to do with religion, but you see it as a valid excuse to cover the truth

I can't think of any faiths that believe it is wrong to invite a guest into the house and offer hospitality. In fact most seem to encourage that sort of thing.