DS GF staying over.... advice.

ciderwithrosie_2

Blimey, talk about over-reacting! She needs a place to sleep for one night, not move in with you. It'll literally be for a few hours. Are you the same with relatives and friends who want to come visit?

Poor girl will probably be so embarrassed that she's putting you out or offending you somehow, she won't want to come round again, or is that what you're hoping for?

krlyr

brians_daughter wrote: »

They are going to a leavers ball next weekend (9pm start) and DS has asked can GF stay over. I am REALLY uncomfortable with this, but understand it will cost circa £30 for a taxi, so her going home is not really an option, unless we pay or go 1/2 with the GF mum (which she wont do, and i'm loathed to do if GF mum wont chip in. Due to recent circumstances £30 is a lot of money ATM)

If you put your foot down and said no, surely the girlfriend's mum will have to do something? What does she expect her daughter to do, sleep on the streets instead?

My parents never allowed boyfriends to stay over - and not even because of religion! There were a few reasons, e.g. having a younger brother meant we were setting an example, and also towards the end of my teens my stepdad was living with us and worked shifts so the drone of people nattering in bedrooms would have kept him awake. We all respected that it was one of the rules of living in their home, and stuck to it. Once we got to the stage where we felt the rules were too much of a compromise, we got our acts together and paid for our own accomodation, simple!

mumps

I'm a Catholic and I have never heard any rules about not having people to stay. The poor girl needs a bed for a night, your son has offered her his room. I don't know where he learned about hospitality but it doesn't seem to be from his mother.

YoungBusinessman

Theres no big deal at all she only needs somewhere to kip for the night, i think, catholic or not OP needs to lighten up and get with the times ( meant in the nicest way possible of course )

podperson

You say you and your son both take your faith seriously. If you truly believe that your son does have the same beliefs as you then he's not going to 'get up to anything' is he? In fact it sounds like he's trying to follow his faith by helping out his gf when she's in a slightly awkward situation.
He's assured you that he will sleep on the sofa so I guess it comes down to whether you trust him or not. He's 17 and almost an adult, within a few short years he may be moving out and getting his own place. If you want him to follow his (and your) faith then I think it's quite important for him to be able to do the 'right' thing because it's what his conscience and his belief tell him to, not because you're standing over him telling him what he can and can't do.

NervousHomeowner

I think you might be overreacting a tiny bit Your son has asked for a lady friend to sleep over and has even offered (of his own accord!) to sleep in separate rooms, as obviously he knows your rules and follows your religion. In my mind, that sends a clear picture that he knows what isn't acceptable in your house and is more than willing to abide by your rules. He is being respectful and is asking your permission first - so why not return that respect and show him that you trust him?

If he wanted to do anything untoward, I'm sure he would have found a way to do it without bringing her over to your house and giving you fair warning first!

glitter_fairy

I think you are completly in your right to say no to this. Its your home.

Old fasioned values are not a bad thing might be better if more people had them x

Brighton_belle

glitter_fairy wrote: »

I think you are completly in your right to say no to this. Its your home.

Old fasioned values are not a bad thing might be better if more people had them x

Er, that'll be the old fashion value of "no sex before marriage" that her 17 yr old son subscribes to as part of his faith and so he has therefore said he wld sleep on sofa and she can have his room?

glitter_fairy

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Er, that'll be the old fashion value of "no sex before marriage" that her 17 yr old son subscribes to as part of his faith and so he has therefore said he wld sleep on sofa and she can have his room?

Its not just about sex, its about being respectful enough to your parents not to ask them to allow something they feel uncomfortable with

Funky_Bold_Ribena

glitter_fairy wrote: »

Its not just about sex, its about being respectful enough to your parents not to ask them to allow something they feel uncomfortable with

Come on - more uncomfortable than letting her walk home on her own?