Is my relationship worth saving?

C_Mababejive

I think its great that some MSE members are generous enough to offer to help in such a way. Its a slight digression but i wonder if similar offers would be made if weathergurl were weatherman?

suburbanwifey

I know this may be throwing something no one wants into the mix but being the sort of person I am and looking at the practicalities that losing your home causes (many) why are you wanting to/prepared to leave the family home? In your shoes it would be him moving out as its him at fault here? why don't you kick him out??

suburbanwifey

jungle_jane wrote: »

Sounds quite a lot like Borderline Personality Disorder - I know someone just like that. That is quite difficult to manage (and of course impossible if the person won't address it).

Sorry, but a chill ran up my spine when I read what he said in his text. That is utterly creepy. I urge you to speak to the police and women's aid - do it today. It would be brilliant if you can line up somewhere to go beforehand too.

If it was me, i think i would get somewhere to live, tell him on the phone and then go around with the police to get my stuff! He sounds like an absolute nightmare...

The problem with 'leaving' some people like this is that they don't like nor accept being left. Many who have 'left' such people, get found by them and stalked and then worse happens (a nurse who worked in Blackpool springs to mind and a guy who is now in Strangeways for life etc.) I think leaving this guy is a bad idea, much better to move him on and things like that are possible in a safe way. I think all this advice to flee should be thought out properly before decisions are made. Sociopaths or people with personality disorders are in the news all the time. Unpredictable and can be dangerous if not handled carefully.

paulineb_2

C_Mababejive wrote: »

I think its great that some MSE members are generous enough to offer to help in such a way. Its a slight digression but i wonder if similar offers would be made if weathergurl were weatherman?

Does it matter? Most of the people who post re relationships breaking down are female. Ive offered space in my home to a male who at the time needed it and at that time I hadnt met him in person.

I really think its unfair to clog up this thread asking questions about what people would do if the situations were reversed, the woman needs help and shes been offered it, lets leave it at that.

paulineb_2

suburbanwifey wrote: »

The problem with 'leaving' some people like this is that they don't like nor accept being left. Many who have 'left' such people, get found by them and stalked and then worse happens (a nurse who worked in Blackpool springs to mind and a guy who is now in Strangeways for life etc.) I think leaving this guy is a bad idea, much better to move him on and things like that are possible in a safe way. I think all this advice to flee should be thought out properly before decisions are made. Sociopaths or people with personality disorders are in the news all the time. Unpredictable and can be dangerous if not handled carefully.

And how does she get him to move on? Shes at risk either way at the moment. Shes at risk if she stays.

He isnt going to move on quietly and she would then be at risk of him trying to harass her in her home and yes Im aware sometimes legal protection can be put in place, but that doesnt stop people breaching them at times.

Its her choice in the end. But sometimes women cant get an abusive partner to leave, I saw that happen to a family member, took her two years to get him out. So if leaving and getting away is an option, its an option that needs to be considered.

I have a friend who left her husband and kids and moved hundreds of miles away into a refuge and they are now settled and hes where they used to live.

If people really are at breaking point they need to do whats best for them and their kids.

treeze

If you leave,please don't think of it as 25 wasted years...my husband and I split after 26 years-a lot of it was good and some-the last few years were not. It wasn't wasted-it was part of my life and I'm now on a new part. I don't consider it a failure-I think 25 years is a pretty good innings!;)Walking on eggshells is awful...I used to feel a dark cloud descending on me at times,like a huge sigh inside me that wouldn't go away.I wish you a happy future,that you truly deserve.

tayforth

weathergurl - are you all right? xx

Wol2

Bumping this for tomorrow - I'm assuming weathergurl can only log on at work.

I hope the weekend went OK - I know it must have been a tremendous strain for you trying to behave "normally" given your light bulb moment last week.

Please do let us know you are OK....and if you feel you can Pm one of us your location we can maybe point you towards extra help.

Good luck with your appointment with WA on monday....stay strong...you CAN do this.

xxxxx

HeadAboveWater

Thinking about you weathergurl. Hope you're ok.

Former_MSE_Andrea

Hi everyone

We really hope everything gets sorted for you weathergurl.

Everyone else, you're a fantastic bunch showing the typical MSE spirit and wanting to help strangers out, which we love. Please be very, very careful about inviting people you don't know to stay and giving strangers your personal details though.

Good luck weathergurl.