Insecure and need help

Netwizard

Anoneemoose wrote: »

I feel a bit awkard about the meds because I tried reducing the dose a few months ago and i ended up tearful a lot and now, the same again, even though the reduction has been less this time. Maybe I should just accept that for the time being, I need to be on the higher dose.

I shall keep updating this thread, to let you know how I get on.xx

Stick to a stable dose. Don't keep reducing it, then upping it, then reducing it as this will make things worse.

Absolutely nothing wrong with saying to your GP you feel like you need to be on the higher dose for now, stick with it for a bit, and only when you really feel like it, start reducing it very gradually.

There's no rush to get off the meds. For now, if it helps, that's the main thing

BugglyB

I don't see why we have to reassure ourselves by saying that this other woman might be stupid or not much fun or incompetent. I'm cross at Netwizards lazy classification of the women in his office and don't think we should buy into it that easily just because it makes us feel better about ourselves.

Let's all grade ourselves according to what men think of us, and hope we come out better than that girl over there?

I think contentment comes through not comparing yourself at all - favourably or unfavourably - not thinking, well I am superior to her in these other ways. That way madness lies.

(Not a personal dig Netwizard! Just irritates me when I see women -through insecurity - complying with this 'well my husband hates skinny girls' - why hate someone cos of their size! or 'fake nails mean she's stupid anyway' - what rubbish)

Don't be a part of the problem!

Lecture over

jetplane

My daughter has PCOS and was prescribed medication which reduced the acne and the hair growth. Certain contraceptive pills (daughter had Yasmin) and metformin can help with PCOS. Have you had a referral to the endocrine clinic at the hospital? In your situation PCOS, ME and depression I would have thought it was important as our endocrine system regulates our hormones and body and I would ask that my symptoms were looked at in relation to each other and not just separate illnesses.

jedsonack2

You don't be guilty of that, Cause that is not in our hands. But remember you must impress you hubby at any time of the day. He must be happy with you always.
Try to lose weight if possible to be healthy not for others( except Husband).

stir_crazy

jedsonack2 wrote: »

You don't be guilty of that, Cause that is not in our hands. But remember you must impress you hubby at any time of the day. He must be happy with you always.
Try to lose weight if possible to be healthy not for others( except Husband).

The OP should lose weight if SHE wants to lose weight.

I don't buy into "having" to look good for my husband in order to keep him. I dress the way I want to dress, lose weight if I feel that I'm getting fat. Not because I think my husband might not fancy me as much.

The OP's OH loves her for who she is, not what she looks like, which is the way it's supposed to be. OP, I don't have anything else to add, but I hope you're starting to feel better.

Orlando_Virgin

Anoneemoose wrote: »

Hi,

I am new here and have joined after reading lots of helpful advice and hoping i may be able to get some too.

The title says it really; I am insecure about my looks and my body. My hubby is great and has never given me any reason to feel insecure. He tells me and shows he loves me.

The thing is though, when I look in the mirror, I want to cry. I have changed so much over the last few yrs. when i met DH, I was slim confident and happy. Now, I am 3 stone overweight and due to illness, pain and medical issues, I struggle to lose any weight.

I KNOW this is MY issue but I just don't know how to fix it. I have tried reading and practising self help techniques. I have also had counselling sessions a couple of times over the years.

Lately DH has got a new boss and I can't help comparing myself with her. She is young, slim and very attractive. She reminds me of how I used to be (although I have never thought I was very attractive but I have felt confident in my 'attractiveness' before). DH gets on very well with her and it's the whole thing that makes me stupidly jealous. I hate feeling this way and like I said, I know it's about me.

I try not to let this affect our relationship and he would never know that I am jealous of his boss, because that would make him uncomfortable and as he has never given me reason to doubt him, i feel it would be unfair.

He knows how I feel about myself and has been very supportive over the years but i constantly worry that it will all get too much, sometimes I get fed up of me!

I know people may say, I should stop comparing myself to others, but I honeslty don't know how - it's like a reflex action when I look in the mirror - I hate what I see.

Sorry for the ramble, I suppose I just hope that someone might be able to share similar experiences and how they cope or maybe advise how i can help myself.

Thank you for reading.

That's a really honest and open post and I admire you for that. I don't think we're human if we don't all get a little envious/jealous of someone from time to time. Kudos to you for not taking it out on your hubbie though and trying to do something about it.

Just a suggestion, and I know you mention pain and illness and in no way shape or form am I saying you don't look amazing as you are, I have lost quite a bit of weight just by walking. I live in a little village so there is some cracking scenery around, every night I have committed to just walking a few miles at a decent pace. I've found it has surpressed my appetite quite a bit, encourages me to drink more water and I've generally just felt better about myself.

It's not very strenuous on your joints etc, and even better if you can team it up with a bit of a healthier diet.

You sound like a lovely, cracking person on the inside so try not to worry too much about the outside!

Anoneemoose

I agree with you Buggly, i don't feel comfortable saying that she's "not this or that" - my DH gets on well with her and she's her boss so she must be intelligent and a seemingly nice person if DH gets on with her. I also took from Netwizard's post that people are attracted to different things.

Like I said before, I know this is about me and that is what i will work on.

Jedsonack - I need to lose weight for health reasons but those health reasons make it difficult.

Jetplane - i can't take the contraceptive pill and metformin made my ibs worse...but thank you for sharing.

Anoneemoose

Hi all,

Just posting as it is a help to put my thoughts on here.

DH is about to apply for a new job which would be the same role as his boss now (so a promotion, everything crossed)! My first thought was great because it means they'll be working alternately rather than together as now. I wish I didn't think that way. I want to get to a point where I am sure my OH is with me no matter who he works with IYSWIM?

Having said that, I am feeling a little bit more positive and I can only assume this is because I upped my meds back to the previous dose.

I am also on day 3 of my vlcd and although it is hard, I am staying strong. Xx

tayforth

I'll keep my fingers crossed that your OH gets the promotion, and I have no doubt that you will get to the point you describe. Recognising and facing a problem is half the battle

Glad that your meds are working for you as well. That'll be a big help.

How low-calorie is the diet, out of interest? You need to ensure that you eat well, get enough vitamins and minerals etc. VLCDs can affect your mood as well.

Anoneemoose

Today's a bad day :-( Just dropped DH off on a work night out so said boss was there all dolled up. Me? I am set for a date with my epilator and wax pot to rid myself of my beard and moustache (and other non feminine areas to have hair). And to top it off, I have had a breakout of very painful spots.

I am also struggling with my vlcd...I kinda knew i would but didn't realise how badly. I could hardly concentrate at work because of the side effects. Not great for my ME either. I also feel a bit low again and I know this is due to not eating properly.

I know that I may sound very self indulgent with this whinge but typing it on here helps me to put it 'in a safe place'. It also helps me think things through while I am typing.

Xx