How to help SD transition into adulthood

Ballabriggs

Thanks whitewing - deep breath required I think!

London - we will make separate arrangements with oldest SD when she gets to Uni, so money will go directly to her. We won't leave her out in the cold!

We have tried in the past to have adult reasonable conversations with her mum regarding splitting responsibility but to no avail. She either ignores DH or any messages he leaves or when he has managed to get her on the phone will only say that the money should come directly through her to sort out. When he goes to pick them up she won't come to the door or will be out. So not really a realistic option.

shegirl

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

I do this when I am nervous. I wasn't really aware of it until maybe 5 or 6 years ago and I am now 44. I was an only child and my mum nagged me to death, so I had absolutely no confidence. For me, it was a way of hiding myself when I had to speak to someone I did not want to speak to. I was also one of those children who NEVER spoke at school.

Going away to university really helped me and I remember coming home for the summer and feeling so confident. Surprisingly, I am now a very outgoing person and I am sure no one would realise that I have confidence issues. I am married with three children and have my own business. So it definitely hasn't held me back.

This morning, I needed to ask someone to do something for me and I heard my baby voice, so consciously deepened it. Perhaps its now a habit?

my voice can go soft and high when nervous too,only recently discovered it though (mans fault :oops: ) and could die of embarrassment!

angelil

OP: Do you think sending her money in supermarket vouchers (at least at the start of her uni life) would help with managing her money maturely? I only mention this because you say about sending her money while she's at uni and I can just see it being spent badly if, as you say, she doesn't have the foresight that even most 17/18 year-olds have. I'm glad you are beginning to see signs of improvement though

19lottie82

Is the mum going to pay for the insurance for the car? This will prob be a couple of grand for an 18 year old :eek: