marrige falling apart .don't know what to do

Annisele

crying_inside wrote: »

I do not have a serious problem with alcohol.

These pressure and strain build up with me and I have got drunk and blown up. To the point where I have pushed my wife around . The police have been involved where I have been arrested twice.

I think that at least one of those statements must be untrue.

Anybody who gets sufficiently drunk that they "push their wife around" to the point the police will arrest them has a very serious drinking problem.

Alcoholics Anonymous might be able to help a person in that situation.

Top_Girl

Stop on.

If you don't have a problem with alcohol, then stop drinking because you're blaming it for pushing your wife about.

crying_inside

I blame the alcohol. Who cares what they do when drunk.Perhaps because I do not drink alcohol on a regular basis. The police have been called out as in argument starts late at night. I have had a drink. Door slamming . Eldest daughter ring police. Police come I'm drunk .get taken out of the situation .until sober up. .you people who are calling me a troll. Making this up.. for what reason do I have..I cane here for advice . For the very reasons you don't believe . Yes it sounds UN imaginable but true. Also try typing all this out on a mobile phone. Punctuation takes to long. Also can't scroll to correct mistakes . I am not thinking of how to write this out. I am writing it while it's in the head.also trying to write fast. Been many times I have lost connection therefore loosing what I had written. Copy and pasting is also a nitemare
I am a troll for having a life like this ? Some can't comprehend it I am a troll. Or I must be for mobile use. Maybe I should pass on my other id . But then why should I.

spirit

A lot of what you say doesn't make much sense. If your wife has so much personal debt, where did she get the deposit/rent for the house opposite from?

you say you don't have a problem with alcohol but you smashed a tv and then the house in full view of the kids?

Then you go on to say that the eldest girl rings the police. e It really isn't a healthy environment for the children - or yourselves as a couple.

If you have no money at all, how do you manage to get alcohol?

You two do need to sit down together - when both are calm and discuss what you want out of this marriage going forward.

busiscoming2

paulineb wrote: »

Id like to think that everyone on here would get a chance at support.
Because really, its better to take at face value.

If someones trolling, then its 2 mins out of my life that Ive wasted, no more.

Also, some people dont spell well and dont punctuate well or even express themselves well.

Id also like to say that I live in a housing estate that some people might compare to the programme shameless, from the outside it looks very ordinary, from the inside, theres stuff that goes on, some of which I only found out about when some people from the area came to do my fitness classes and one of them worked in the local shop and told me what some peoples lives are like (Im also aware people can be dysfunctional no matter what their social class is). You dont know what goes on behind closed doors until someone tells you in the passing.

The thing is, Im sure many of us have stuff thats gone on in our lives that we dont share. I have, lots of stuff that Id never share on here, not because I dont want to be judged, but because its private.

We can also pick and choose the threads we respond to.

Well said. Yes, some people's lives can be quite unbelievable to others.

I'd like the answers to some of the questions asked by other posters:

Where did your wife get the deposit money from?

Did you not go to any of her GP/Hospital appointments regarding the Cancer?

I'd suggest you both seek counselling and being proactive in sorting out your debts is paramount.

Why can you not sell your house?

Angry_Bear

crying_inside wrote: »

I blame the alcohol. Who cares what they do when drunk.

To be blunt, if you can't control what you do when you drink, and you do things that hurt other people - then you shouldn't drink. Ever.

You can't "blame the alcohol", as you drank it when (presumably) you already know you get out of control when drunk.

pearl123

So you appear to be violent and have a drinking problem. (Amongst other problems! )Wouldn't it be wise to see to these problems instead of making other people lives a misery from it.
Child calling the police! How sad!
Or would you like the violence and the chaos that come from booze and violence to dictate you whole life! And those around you.


A more normal life can be obtained if you address the major issues.

crying_inside

It was not a child who rang the police .
I do not know how she got the money together for the bond.
Yes I did go to the hospital where she had the camera up and down.but when went for the results .she caused an argument. At the hospital . She know I would then not go with her. She then told me after
Problem with alcohol ??? I used to drink a 20 cl bottle of whiskey over 2 nights with coke. . Normaly when she starts stressing me. I go and drink a strong sweet coffee. The morning she told me she was going .all what was at hand as I was in the bedroom with her was that half bottle. I drank that. I heart my kids packing . I also then do what she does to me. I took some of her amiltrpalyne tablets and I took them. Yes I should not have then gone to buy another bottle . But I did. I drank near a half bottle in one go. Tried to calm down. Saw my wife with the tv . And I tried to get it back. To drop it.
If it is true that my wife is indeed Ill .then when she dies. Where do my kids go to ? Or if she comes back. There will be no house .as it would have been sold. And what do I do ? Almost half Of the house value would be swallowed up with my debt and mortgage.. what then can I buy with 30 k ?

crying_inside

Also as for other times she went for chemo or whatever . She said she would go alone.

thorsoak

crying_inside wrote: »

I blame the alcohol. Who cares what they do when drunk.Perhaps because I do not drink alcohol on a regular basis. The police have been called out as in argument starts late at night. I have had a drink. Door slamming . Eldest daughter ring police. Police come I'm drunk .get taken out of the situation .until sober up. .you people who are calling me a troll. Making this up.. for what reason do I have..I cane here for advice . For the very reasons you don't believe . Yes it sounds UN imaginable but true. Also try typing all this out on a mobile phone. Punctuation takes to long. Also can't scroll to correct mistakes . I am not thinking of how to write this out. I am writing it while it's in the head.also trying to write fast. Been many times I have lost connection therefore loosing what I had written. Copy and pasting is also a nitemare
I am a troll for having a life like this ? Some can't comprehend it I am a troll. Or I must be for mobile use. Maybe I should pass on my other id . But then why should I.

So how old is this daughter? 16? 17? 18? 20? 25? You say you have been together for 14 years, that your OH is now 43, so she was 29 when you got together, and that "her daughter" lives with you. So is this the person you were referring to?

So is there another adult in the household?

Prove that you are not a troll by giving us FACTS - not rants!